Remember, Lucas is talking about what food he'd make his wife which means she would have already provided him an apartment/house to live in and she would also have filled the pantry and fridge for him to "cook" and gorge on while she's at work.
Yes, he has a history of scamming people out of money.
Zucchini that large are gonna be bland as hell; they should be stuffed with something.
He's just trying to make proper food for his age demographic of girls, what else would you make your 13 year old wife when she's gotta go to school then work instantly? Hell He's trying to be a good father figure and husband the only difference between him and most dads is his daughter is only 7 years younger than his wife.
The Zucchini Challenge
youtu.be
View attachment 2499975
Words fail me.
Dr N. Luke is taking giant, dog-choking bites out of a raw zucchini. He chews like a cow chewing its cud. He chews like an old man with no teeth; his mandibles bouncing up and down like a cartoon of the act of mastication.
Edit: At the very end of the video, he manages to get a chunk of zucchini inside of his nose, from eating so ferociously. Well done Lucas, well done.
Edit 2:
if You Were My Wife
Lucas would cook for you, if you were his wife. He lists all the many foods he would make you. Assuming he had the funds to buy all these foods to cook. Obviously an unimportant detail. Actually, this really sounds like Lucas is hungry. He's not getting as much food as he's accustomed to, and the higher price of rent he's having to pay is leaving him with less money to satisfy his gluttony. So he'll talk about food, instead, like an anorexic woman drooling over cookbooks.
It's amazing how many faults he has. There's such incredible depth, layers, nuance, and bombast to his horribleness.
PS: The "If You Were My Wife" video marks the return of "cartouchery" boards.
Come on; did anyone honestly think Lucas (he of GAL-door, MICE-ogyny, gal-OOSE humor, etc) could pronounce charcuterie?
EDIT 3: At the very end of Lucas's "Bubba Gump Shrimp"-long list of promised meals, he offers to make his hypothetical child-bride bumps on a log. He doesn't call it this, but he's talking about bumps on a log. You know, what your mom used to put in your brown paper lunch sack? In a Ziploc bag? Short sticks of celery filled with peanut butter with a few raisins lined up on top of the peanut butter? Bumps on a Log. You know, the choice snack for grade school children. Health conscious grade school children, thank you very much!
Hey ladies of Bistango: Do you want some bumps on a log? Want some handy-snacks, complete with short red plastic stick, to facilitate the spreading of artificial cheese-food spread onto rectangular saltine crackers? How about some Shark Bites? No? You want to share my Ziploc bag 1/4 full of cinnamon Teddy Grahams? No? How about my lukewarm Capri Sun? And my tuna fish sandwich, where the tuna fish is soaked through the bread?
Only the best for you, my Kween.....
Is it ants on a log, or bumps on a log? Am I remembering it wrong, or is that a regional difference?
My reading of this is Myrna complained to other parents after the fact, and because she was standing right in front of them, the other parents humored. Perhaps one of the more Christian parents said something like "Aw, well, had I known all that, I would have insisted that little Johny go to your son's party..." and shrugged. I'd like to believe that she brought up this incident, and others like it, whenever she had occasion to.
Lucas vs. the Summer Squash is quality content. Amusing, but not for the reasons that Lucas intended. Watch it, and behold what a manic retard will do for attention. Don't miss the squash in his nostril.The Zucchini Challenge
View attachment 2499975
Words fail me.
Dr N. Luke is taking giant, dog-choking bites out of a raw zucchini. He chews like a cow chewing its cud. He chews like an old man with no teeth; his mandibles bouncing up and down like a cartoon of the act of mastication.
Edit: At the very end of the video, he manages to get a chunk of zucchini inside of his nose, from eating so ferociously. Well done Lucas, well done.
Edit 2:
if You Were My Wife
Lucas would cook for you, if you were his wife. He lists all the many foods he would make you. Assuming he had the funds to buy all these foods to cook. Obviously an unimportant detail. Actually, this really sounds like Lucas is hungry. He's not getting as much food as he's accustomed to, and the higher price of rent he's having to pay is leaving him with less money to satisfy his gluttony. So he'll talk about food, instead, like an anorexic woman drooling over cookbooks.
It's amazing how many faults he has. There's such incredible depth, layers, nuance, and bombast to his horribleness.
PS: The "If You Were My Wife" video marks the return of "cartouchery" boards.
Come on; did anyone honestly think Lucas (he of GAL-door, MICE-ogyny, gah-LOOSE humor, etc) could pronounce charcuterie?
EDIT 3: At the very end of Lucas's "Bubba Gump Shrimp"-long list of promised meals, he offers to make his hypothetical child-bride bumps on a log. He doesn't call it this, but he's talking about bumps on a log. You know, what your mom used to put in your brown paper lunch sack? In a Ziploc bag? Short sticks of celery filled with peanut butter with a few raisins lined up on top of the peanut butter? Bumps on a Log. You know, the choice snack for grade school children. Health conscious grade school children, thank you very much!
Hey ladies of Bistango: Do you want some bumps on a log? Want some handy-snacks, complete with short red plastic stick, to facilitate the spreading of artificial cheese-food spread onto rectangular saltine crackers? How about some Shark Bites? No? You want to share my Ziploc bag 1/4 full of cinnamon Teddy Grahams? No? How about my lukewarm Capri Sun? And my tuna fish sandwich, where the tuna fish is soaked through the bread?
Only the best for you, my Kween.....
Gotta be regional or generational differences. I remember people using both terms but ants on a log was more common
Wow I’m glad you posted these 2 videos specifically bc I came on here with SO many thoughts about them both. First off, the zucchini video… This man (I use that term lightly) has to burn the shit out of a turkey sandwich to find it palatable because he apparently doesn’t like turkey, but he’ll eat a raw zucchini??? I’m almost happy that he will because at least it’s some fucking nutrients.
Yes. He really likes the food at Mallon Place but the servings they give are not enough to satisfy him. For the length of time he lives there he's going to have to find ways to satisfy his gluttony. Thinking about it he might have gotten the can of soup , peanut butter and even the squash at a food pantry that gives free groceries to the needy.
He's doubly a piece of shit there, because he's no longer technically food-needy; he's served all of his meals now at Mallon, he's just so used to such pronounced gluttony that he probably has to consume about 6,000 calories a day just to maintain the size of his M.O.D.O.K. head.
Good observation. Because is monkey brain is screaming something is wrong sugars aren't coming in like they used to, calories aren't either.
