Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

wenttobermuda said:
Think back to some of the vids you described. What was the remarkable, entertaining part, the part that sets him apart from other incels? I suspect our answers would be similar. That's what I want more of, not this standard, dull ho hate.
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Incels generally have low self-esteem, think they're ugly, if they're short or fat or have some easily discernable flaw they'll focus everything on it and have terrible social skills.

Lucas stands out because he always insists that he's plenty good despite being a morbidly obese stinky bum that is disgusting in every way, and smokin' hot fit Gen Z girls are bigots for not fucking him. I've never seen incels that are close to Lucas in never admitting they have any faults or have ever been wrong with such apparent narcissism.
 
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darkwingosonichugorl said:
Incels generally have low self-esteem, think they're ugly, if they're short or fat or have some easily discernable flaw they'll focus everything on it and have terrible social skills.

Lucas stands out because he always insists that he's plenty good despite being a morbidly obese stinky bum that is disgusting in every way, and smokin' hot fit Gen Z girls are bigots for not fucking him. I've never seen incels that are close to Lucas in never admitting they have any faults or have ever been wrong with such apparent narcissism.
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On that note, there is a way lucas could get around that and hide his history......he could become a furry and get one of those fur suits. It would hide who he is, contain his reeking odor and if he picked the right fursuit, he could even infiltrate the local chuck e cheese as one of the staff in those animal suits, so he could creep on the zoomer baes

Then again this is lucas we're talking about. Such a plan would likely end with lucas getting told off for creeping on a little girl in chuck e cheese and lead to an epic chimpout that inevitably ends with some video that makes international news featuring lucas in a chuck e cheese animal suit getting forcibly sedated and hauled away during a psychotic break next to the ball pit, surrounded by horrified little kids and parents while screeching 'spokane! why do you looooovvveeeee!' like he did during his last public chimpout. Not to mention a considerable drop in attendance to chuck e cheese and a reputation that they would likely never live down

Not going to lie, i'd pay money to see lucas lose his shit after an incident like that became international news and put lots of eyes on his actions. Might also make the furries panic a bit. Plus, the idea that lucas would end up sleeping in some alley in a filthy old falling apart fursuit a few weeks after getting released from the nuthouse is hilarious
 
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@WonderWino
Imagine a surstromming, durian fruit mukbang combo.

Ive read durian fruit stinks so bad it is banned in public places in Malaysia and Singapore. If Lucas stank this bad the police might have take him to the drunk tank and hose him down.

I like how a few months back he is talking about this hypothetical part time job in the exact same way. And his monkey brain even invents primitive tools to eat his yoghurt and thinks he’s got something to offer a mate with this skill set already discovered by gorillas.
 
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darkwingosonichugorl said:
Incels generally have low self-esteem, think they're ugly, if they're short or fat or have some easily discernable flaw they'll focus everything on it and have terrible social skills.

Lucas stands out because he always insists that he's plenty good despite being a morbidly obese stinky bum that is disgusting in every way, and smokin' hot fit Gen Z girls are bigots for not fucking him. I've never seen incels that are close to Lucas in never admitting they have any faults or have ever been wrong with such apparent narcissism.
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As the form guidelines say real lolcows reject advice.
Lucas is both the definition of incel and yet completely not a incel. He isn't picking at his flaws, downing on himself about the stank and obesity but instead standing by himself as a plenty good God and only thing wrong is society at large.
He literally couldn't get laid even if it was a date rape as the stank would over power any drugs and make the poor girl run like the devil.
Also if you're feeling down go sit in the parking lot of a Walmart and remember you have infinitely more chances of dating anyone you see then Lucas has with the entire population of Spokane.
Also it's 6pm Spokane time do you know where your local homeless pedophile is?
 
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7-11 pizza being phenomenal? Very surprising comment from our hobo galloping gourmet, Lucas Werner. I have had 7-11 pizza and it is average at best. I would rate it lower than Little Caesars. It's edible and if you're hungry and need something quick, it works out. I remember when Lucas was in his begging for food mode, I think the Geek Room was going to send him Little Caesar's Pizza and Lucas said that wasn't plenty good enough. Putting food directly on the bed sheets, ick! I bet he ate all those snacks today. No wonder he is a diabetic.
 
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Maxxicus Callahan said:
@WonderWino
Imagine a surstromming, durian fruit mukbang combo.

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See, now watching him just OPEN Surströmming would almost be worth the $50. What'd be worth $50 is a contingency that he has to eat it to get paid.

Fun powerlevel: You're opening it wrong if it sprays nasty fermented fish juice all over you. You're supposed to open it with the can submerged in water, that stops it from doing that, and you can get the juice out of the can and off of the fish. The fish itself doesn't have that strong of a smell and tastes just fine on flatbread with onions, potatoes, and either sour cream or plain yogurt. Not that I have a family that eats or makes fermented fish or anything.

Anyway, Lucas wouldn't be smart enough to do that but, sadly, he'd also probably not know how to set his phone up on a tripod to get his full reaction to being sprayed with foul smelling rotting fish juice either.
 
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youtube.com

Hone On It

#Tomber
youtube.com youtube.com

A new short from Lucas shows that he doesn't understand two more words, add them to the list: hone, and timbre.

If you're wondering what he's been doing all afternoon, dollars to donuts he's been sleeping off his binge.

Edit: In terms of the list of words he doesn't understand, let's not forget, from his "Coviddy Christians" video earlier today, "heden", by which he no doubt means "heathen".

It's getting to the point where he simultaneously mispronounces, misunderstands, and often makes up new words, which are actually a mix of two words that he doesn't understand. I'm not sure how to score these on the retard chart.
 
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GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
youtube.com

Hone On It

#Tomber
youtube.com youtube.com

A new short from Lucas shows that he doesn't understand two more words, add them to the list: hone, and timbre.

If you're wondering what he's been doing all afternoon, dollars to donuts he's been sleeping off his binge.

Edit: In terms of the list of words he doesn't understand, let's not forget, from his "Coviddy Christians" video earlier today, "heden", by which he no doubt means "heathen".

It's going to the point where he simultaneously mispronounces, misunderstands, and often makes up new words, which are actually a mix of two words that he doesn't understand. I'm not sure how to score these on the retard chart.
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I mean, tomber is a real word, but it has nothing to do with the voice.

It's a--actually scratch the last one, it's even funnier when you get into the literal: It's the French verb "to fall". Fall is one letter off from fail, so by Lucas' logic, it probably means the same thing.

Edit: My brain is auto-correcting the spelling because I can still vaguely speak and read French.. Tombre is the verb, tomber is not a word at all.

He probably meant--actually, I know what he meant, he's one letter and a whole ass pronunciation off, but it's more fun if I just slap the text on the video then watch him freak out and make 5 videos about how he used it right and I just don't get his humor.

 
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Maxxicus Callahan said:
@WonderWino
Imagine a surstromming, durian fruit mukbang combo.

Ive read durian fruit stinks so bad it is banned in public places in Malaysia and Singapore. If Lucas stank this bad the police might have take him to the drunk tank and hose him down.

I like how a few months back he is talking about this hypothetical part time job in the exact same way. And his monkey brain even invents primitive tools to eat his yoghurt and thinks he’s got something to offer a mate with this skill set already discovered by gorillas.
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That improvised tool was great horrifying, but my favorite was when he just grabbed a literal stick off the ground and started using it to eat.
 
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darkwingosonichugorl said:
Lucas probably meant timbre. I guess he's making fun of Walter Fate's deep voice like he's done before. Who knows.
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He definitely meant timbre.

How he got "tomber" from that is beyond me.

If he'd said "tim-bre" or even "tim-bree" I'd have understood how someone could make that mistake, but "tomber"?? That's a whole different vowel.

He must be storing used socks in his skull because there sure as shit aren't brains in there.
 
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Here we see a man who has not been laid in 7 years whose mind has slowly been turned to liquid from his own odor, but which he still attempts to use daily.
Basic human functions are nonexistent and he's ceased such things as using Basic human language, identifying proper mates and mating rituals and use of fire to cook food which is man's oldest tool.

He seems to lack brain functions which can help him in some way, but in reality his internal voices which should forward most humans to greater things simply mock and tease him.
He gives dismissal to his inner thoughts that might perk up the average male into doing better and simply says it's voices on the wind.
He also doesn't understand that infact he's the cause of all his problems.

He's also thrown away his basic human instinct of self preservation. He simply can’t allow his own body failing keep him from finding a mate.
Among his ailments are
•MRSA
•diabetes
•super diabetes
•gout/charcot/fucked up foot
•obesity
•balding
•non functional penis
•nerve damage
•mental and physical retardation

Yea if you just stumbled upon this thread and are wondering who Lucas is this is a summary of the man
Call me tistic but God Lucas is my favorite cow.
 
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