Mar-27-2023 - Chris is out of custody

[Hanged Man]

>joke to friend about chris being freed 9 days ago
>it happens
Oh fuck it got jinxed into existenceView attachment 4897817

That's the power of the merge at work. Anything you can imagine will become a reality, and this is probably why onion news is also able to 'predict' the future.

 

[Cuntspiracy Man]

I really thought prison would be the end of the Saga.
I'm wondering now if Chris is gonna have a Homeless Arc where she posts from her phone at random locations and hops around hotels and restaurants like Daniel Larson

a homeless saga would be fascinating, genuinely
the best possible content that ever came from chris was him interacting with normies out in the real world, documenting his misadventures and struggling on his own

ill be happy to see a return to that, with chris finally free from the influence of one group of trolls, and instead navigating the world solo, with regular people coming and going into his life

 

[Die For Me!]

Time to saddle up and make the pilgrimage back to Ruckersville and pass the lolcow baton that was so graciously handed to you back to Chris @theralph

 

[Megalodon Jaw]

WOOOOO HOMELESS SAGA LETS GOOOO

 

[Dupree Home Edition]

hahahaha

 

[autisticscreeching656]

At work so this will have to do for now, but just check for yourself

What I want to know is, where is he going? I get the feeling he wouldn't have been bonded out unless someone said he can stay with them.

Who do you guys suspect of paying up?
Some troons?
Ralph?
Metokur?

Her husband magi-chan, of course.

 

[Haesindang Park]

Who the hell paid for his bond, and arent they now responsible for chris until he goes back to court? what the fuck

AFAIK, they're only financially responsible. If he doesn't return to court, they don't get their bond refunded. They're also responsible for the bounty hunter fee to search for him if he fails to show up in court. (Now if they put up a collateral, that would be something else.)

 

[Seething Troon Collector]

I took some creative liberties with Chris's last jail photo

Original:

Spoiler

AI Generated:

Spoiler

[

[These images were generated with AI and are not real. They were drawn by a computer]

 

[Octavia]

Hoping for some fun, harmless milk but I'm not very confidant it will happen. It's gonna be all downhill from here!!!!!

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

View attachment 4897964
uh oh
it's a meme btw

He's wild as a serial raper!

Code of Virginia Code - Chapter 9. Bail and Recognizances

law.lis.virginia.gov

I needed to take a break from work I picked up more info on his bail, see S. 19.2-123. Since this is a felony Chris had to post a secured bond, which includes wearing a GPS tracking device.

 

[AntiSchwuletteAktion]

Power level: Chris' release occurred as I was piloting an aircraft for the first time. This is a strange omen guys, I don't feel so good

 

[autisticscreeching656]

hahahaha

That's kinda wholesome.

 

[Mikhail Gorbachev]

good point, we dont know how much money it even WAS

perhaps you could argue that for many people, any amount of money required to release Chris from prison is too much money, but for others... it's just the equivalent of funding their hobbies

Or, the stories to follow would pay enough due to renewed interest that it's a business expense. All the Chris channels will get new eyes since he's trending again.

Maybe it was Geno, we are getting near the end of the documentary and that would be a hell of a book end. "And then he came back." Not even new really, like Dstecks funding the comics like $1000 at the end of his reading.

 

[Gourmet Race]

Here’s a short list of suspects:

Ralph
>Would like to capitalize on his Chris Chan arrested video
>Would give him badly needed views for his Killstream

Keffals
>Both are troons who made creepy statements about their mothers
>Would unite to take down Null

Null
>Tried to help Chris by teaching him to be financially independent for when his elderly mother dies and this bit him in the ass
>Would hunt him down to rectify this mistake

Bella
>Still has a chance to become Chris’s greatest troll by blackmailing him into killing himself
>Would do it just to spite us

A new challenger appears
>Some ween looking to make his mark on Christory
>Doesn’t know what he’s in for

It's time...

*puts on 4/5 star cap*
Alexa play https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5xWgrxnoDA

It's pretty cut and dry as to who paid his bond, it was none other than, Null! He clearly did it out of his unconditional love to his beloved e-son Truly e-father of the year!

 

[No Batty Boys in Jamaica]

If a halfway house agreed to take him they may have negated the bond. That’s not uncommon but holy shit imagine trying to get the bond removed for Chris. I would’ve liked to see that negotiation.

I almost wonder if that nigger in Diniwiddie county who got smothered to death factored into the court’s decision to release Chris. An event like that is less likely to happen in a group home, and if it does, the state can scapegoat the group home operator.

 

[Molesting the Decapitated]

So he was bonded out?
There's only 1 man for the job that could have done this



This is the one you want he's responsible

 

[WelperHelper99]

Hoping for some fun, harmless milk but I'm not very confidant it will happen. It's gonna be all downhill from here!!!!!

I do hope for some genuine lulz and not more incest shit, I never got to witness the ps3 smashing first hand, so if we got that but a switch from tard rage, I'd take it lol.

 

[deadson]

Or, the stories to follow would pay enough due to renewed interest that it's a business expense. All the Chris channels will get new eyes since he's trending again.

Maybe it was Geno, we are getting near the end of the documentary and that would be a hell of a book end. "And then he came back." Not even new really, like Dstecks funding the comics like $1000 at the end of his reading.

He denied it on his discord. Can't see as to why he would bond Chris out, that documentary gotta be draining him now.

 

[CWCVillie Shopkeeper]

you know, I had a dream about something similar happening last night, but it had to do with Cole Smithey and Chris reuniting, I feel asleep watching Geno's doc so that's probably what caused it, crazy irony.... or

ITS THE MERGE

Cole Smithy added to the list of suspects

WHO BAILED HIM OUT?
The suspects:

• The Teen Troon Squad (Unlikely)​
• Jacob Sockness (Likely, but improbable, that man is a loser)​
• Ethan "gunt" Ralph (Possible) ​
• Barbara Chandler (Possible, but unlikely)​
• ILJ (ain't no way)​
• Pardoned by Joe Biden (not off the table)​
• GiBi or some other ContentFag who needed new ways to milk Chris (Likely, but improbable) (Geno doesn't count im sure he's tired of this by now)​
• Magichan and Sonichu (Fuck off)​
• A NEW Teen Troon Squad (Likely)​
• (Other... reply)​

We gotta know

 

[GatorAids]

I hope he runs away from court and we get a special episode of Dog The Bounty Hunter featuring the rapist of Ruckersville.