- Joined
- Sep 26, 2019
It was really, really nice to watch something new with no sambos being shoved in my face and no characters talking like catty retards with passive-aggressive woke quips
Mario Bros. Set to Jump to Big Screen in Movie Deal with Universal’s Illumination - Paging Movie Bob, Paging Movie Bob...
- Thread starter Elwood P. Dowd
- Start date
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2023
I kind of agree, but I dunno. Peach was so ridiculously out of character that it was distracting (I'm aware that she has almost none in the games, but this is like her polar opposite come the fuck on), all of the references (even if it was mostly just a barrage in the first 15 minutes) felt like cheap pandering, there was too much time wasted in Brooklyn and not the Mushroom Kingdom and the whole story was very disjointed (probably intentionally because Miyamoto).
The whole thing was just sludge. Total Illumination sludge. I expected nothing less from Illumination- I expected something a little more from Nintendo. I think the best part about the movie is, somehow, its visuals- the whole thing looks drop-dead gorgeous (save for some very generic character designs), and it was enough to keep me awake throughout the runtime, but almost every other part was super lacking for me. I am also very mad that Luigi got fucking gypped. Five minutes for a tiny nod to Luigi's Mansion and then prison for the rest of the runtime?! Screw you, he's my favorite!
Nah, but seriously though. That brotherly dynamic is a lot of what makes the cast even remotely interesting and it's kind of just dumped really quickly.
Also the original score actually wasn't bad. The fact that they constantly interrupted the original stuff for the most obvious and basic 80s throwbacks was, though...
Such a mixed bag. I dunno. It doesn't deserve its success on its own merits, but the fact that it's not wokeshit makes me reluctant to say that its success is a bad thing. At the absolute minimum it shows that people will take almost anything else at this point, and if this leads to a decrease in extreme agenda-pushing then I'm all for it.
Not getting my hopes up, though.
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2017
I hate the fact that the people I work with told me they think I'd like this movie, because it tells me they don't understand me at all. I hate the fucking premise of the movie. I hate the fact that it exists.
I hate the fact that I have to say this but, this is a kids movie, so what they are implying to you might be that if you were a kid, you've enjoyed it. Am I right or am I just guessing?
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2017
No, at this point I'm opposed to the endless bullshit nostalgia-bait, movies-as-vehicles-to-sell-IP-cults-and-toys, that possesses all the shitty clichés and by-the-numbers storytelling this endlessly derivative sort of shit employs. The fact that this now is cultural canon for grown adults and society has just converged on everyone being supposed to be into this shit makes some of the pedophilia shit less surprising if everyone is gonna act like a kid. You say that it's a kid's movie and that's the point, every fucking movie is pretty much a kid's movie these days. It's either Marvel or this sort of shit.
You're fine to flag me as an autist, I guess that would be fair, but god damn we are stuck in a post-80s time loop where almost nothing is new. How long is this gonna last? When I was a kid I thought pokemon would just be a thing for a few years, now it's even bigger than ever. I don't feel like "consooomerism" is just a meme, the fact that people are so dumbed down that cinema is flooded with this shit. This everything-is-Shrek-but-sell-more-toys-crap. Just watch Shrek, and you pretty much know how all these films go.
And if you have kids, you should feed them more on drier documentaries than this attention-span draining crap. I'd hate these movies less if they could stand on their own merits without being just tied to some IP, but they can't.
To avoid woke shit I just watch weird foreign and/or old films these days. Then I get to watch good/weird/fascinating films and not have some Marxist preach to me about accepting their fetishes as being integrated into the fabric of the cosmos.
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2013
I saw it while back, it was alright. I don't know if I agree with calling it a 90 minute commercial because I felt the references weren't as in-your-face as other offenders and I say that as someone growing tired of references being used as a substitute for storytelling. References are not always bad but a work needs to be able to stand on its own and for what it is, it was serviceable.
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2015
I am still pissed of what most of mainstream media has become since the 2010s.
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2020
Mario Movie Surpasses Disney's Animated Hit Frozen At The Box Office
Omega-lul, suck it, you dirty Rat.
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2017
Meanwhile at Disney
>Little Mermaid flops on its first weekend
Say what you want about Illumination and especially Nintendo and its fans, but they will always be better at marketing, and it goes to show you that the new Mario surpasses a Disney movie from almost exactly 10 years ago as the highest grossing animated movie ever speaks volumes that we live in a very interesting timeline. I hope and pray to christ that Disney finally shuts down by the end of the decade if not earlier.
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2020
I don't care what those stickers are. Your a autistic retard to me who has nothing but old DVDs to rewatch. Because your life sucks and hate that other people can watch movies well you have nothing but conspiracy theory videos to watch.
Get fuck!!
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2013
I'm extremely late but I finally watched it a couple days ago. Anyone who claims that Peach wasn't an OOC girlboss is kidding themselves because that's basically what they turned her into. She was the worst part of the movie by far, while Bowser was the best. Voice acting for the most part was fine but good lord did they butcher Peach in almost every way. The visuals were beautiful but plot was meh with some questionable choices (did Mario really need insecure daddy issues?) and Luigi got sidelined too much until the ending. But at the end of the day, it's a kid's movie that banked on nostalgia, so overall I'd say it's a decent watch. Or at least worth watching for the visuals and Jack Black's performance alone.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
They didn't want Mario to be rescuing Peach so they had him rescue Luigi instead, basically.
If they had been really daring, they'd have made Bowser try to gay marry Luigi and Peach goes trans to save him, and then Mario saves everyone.
If they had been really daring, they'd have made Bowser try to gay marry Luigi and Peach goes trans to save him, and then Mario saves everyone.
So is there a point where they do a Hotel Mario reference where Mario calls him Gay Luigi?
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2021
No, but there's a point where Mario has to explain to Luigi that he's holding a stone and not a football.So is there a point where they do a Hotel Mario reference where Mario calls him Gay Luigi?
And then whole scene will proceed to Luigi making a racist Chinese cowboy impression.
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2021
That scene is why Charlie Day will win the Oscar
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2019
At least peach has been more proactive in the games as far back as the 80s where she was a playable character in mario 2, then became playable in every non mainline mario game aside her own game on the ds super princess peach. Peach has at least show she can take a more proactive role in the series when she needs too, but yeah it did feel a little forced that they made her op as if she NEVER had been proactive in the past. And it's over compensation for a problem that never existed.
Also it may have been said already but either illumination or universal higher ups made the studio take out the awesome original score that is more or less remakes of classic Mario tunes save the main theme and replace them with over used pop songs. EX.
Dk original music.
Replaced with Ana's take on me for the millionth time. They did almost the same thing with the lorax a decade ago. Replacing the rock opera inspired song biggering with the now memed to hell and back how bad can I be.