OKCupid update?

[Alec Benson Leary]

I don't want to take the discussion off on a tangent but under pets Chris states that he "has dogs and has cats", i know we've had threads on previous forums speculating the condition of the feline residents of 14 Branchland Court but this confirms that at least one cat is still around right?

I think he just keeps slipping on cat shit in the kitchen, and doesn't consider its potential age, so he assumes a cat or two must still be on the premises.

it will always kill me when he says "ignore all google results"

He says that, yet he has to slap Sonichu into his name and everywhere else. As if someone might not look at his profile, wonder "what the hell is a sonichu", and go look it up online, since it doesn't exist anywhere else.

Would it kill him to attempt an expression in some of his pictures? I know he isn't good at them, but Godbear, show some teeth, open your eyes a little. There must be a middle ground between manic loon and suffered a stroke.

Oh, no no. Not happening. Chris had (supposedly) been told that he was looking too dour in his facebook pics about a year ago.

It's possible he thinks he is smiling there, but has no idea how to shot facial expression so it comes out as we see it.

Its interesting, but in a subtle way, Chris is admitting defeat and calling for assistance.

He's been doing that pretty much all his life. All other people exist to help him as their default state, he's always known this.

 

[Fibonacci]

I like how Chris always writes 'all-around' within its own set of parameters instead of 'all-around fun, good-hearted, etc.', as if his Sweetheart/Future Wife must be omnipresent - which would only make sense, considering he expects nothing less than a goddess.

 

[CatParty]

re-reading the profile, it just seems as if he doesn't really want anyone to contact him.


other than trolls

 

[Fibonacci]

re-reading the profile, it just seems as if he doesn't really want anyone to contact him.


other than trolls

By the looks of things, he might very well except their contact, so long as they contact him IMMEDIATELY RIGHT NOW @ DA HANGOUT.

 

[CatParty]

re-reading the profile, it just seems as if he doesn't really want anyone to contact him.


other than trolls

By the looks of things, he might very well except their contact, so long as they contact him IMMEDIATELY RIGHT NOW @ DA HANGOUT.

IN PERSON

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

man his hairline is reaching hulk hogan levels

Don't do steroids, brother!

 

[Surtur]

What kills me is how he demands immediate contact, despite that no woman in her right mind just meet with someone. Between his childish inetrests and constant mentions of sex, she is probably going to thing he is a rapist,

 

[CatParty]

What kills me is how he demands immediate contact, despite that no woman in her right mind just meet with someone. Between his childish inetrests and constant mentions of sex, she is probably going to thing he is a rapist,

and didn't even need to mention the pics as evidence! haha

 

[UltraSonichu]

I love how it's important to him to specifically list the following 'qualities':

"emotionally mature"

"making well-thought decisions"

"holding a conversation"

These are skills that most people take for granted, but Chris feels he has to write them down. And why? Because deep down, he knows they're not true. He just hopes he can make them be so by writing them. In a way, his profile reads like a list of things he desperately wants to be rather than who he actually is.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

I love how it's important to him to specifically list the following 'qualities':

"emotionally mature"

"making well-thought decisions"

"holding a conversation"

These are skills that most people take for granted, but Chris feels he has to write them down. And why? Because deep down, he knows they're not true. He just hopes he can make them be so by writing them. In a way, his profile reads like a list of things he desperately wants to be rather than who he actually is.

Having been on a few dating sites, and dealing with a few really shitty girls, I can *almost* see the logic here. The adult world is filled with potential partners who aren't mature, make terrible decisions, and can't hold a real conversation. It's one reason I was single for so long.

That said, I agree with your interpretation of Chris's motives. He's aware of his shortcomings on some level and is attempting to dupe a potential heartsweet.

 

[Cwckifan]

You should message me if

You can MEET ME IN PERSON Right Now; Online Communications are OUT. As Well As If You are A) 25-30 years old, B) not black (no personal offense), C) NOT a Smoker, D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA), You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc.

Oh Chris, it's good to see that after all these years, you still haven't learned a thing. Seriously, you'd think he'd be open to Black and/or average-looking women by now, but I guess that a man of his wealth, attractiveness, social standing, skill-set, achievement and creative genius is just too good for that!

 

[Male]

It's all a scam, what you are really getting a giant baby that just sits on his ass and demands to be fed, praised, and sometimes changed. See the catch is you have make him a "emotionally mature" and "good natured" person....but only whenever he feels like being one.
If Chris was a car, he would be considered a lemon.

 

[Cwckifan]

It's all a scam, what you are really getting a giant baby that just sits on his ass and demands to be fed, praised, and sometimes changed. See the catch is you have make him a "emotionally mature" and "good natured" person....but only whenever he feels like being one.
If Chris was a car, he would be considered a lemon.

Make him an emotionally mature and good-natured person? Sorry, but all things considered, houses, cars, and poorly-written manuscripts are better (and more rewarding) fix-it projects than broken people. Really, if he wants to be 'rebuilt', then perhaps he should date a mechanic!

 

[CatParty]

You can MEET ME IN PERSON Right Now; Online Communications are OUT.:

on an online dating website.

 

[Cwckifan]

You can MEET ME IN PERSON Right Now; Online Communications are OUT.:

on an online dating website.

He somehow managed to fail harder than the student who emailed his professor to tell her that his internet was down

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

It's all a scam, what you are really getting a giant baby that just sits on his ass and demands to be fed, praised, and sometimes changed.

It's like what you get if you go looking for a girl on craigslist.


...anyway, I wonder how exactly a girl is supposed to find him IN PERSON. Even if a girl messaged him and said she was willing to come hang out with him, I have to think he's so mired in paranoia that his most likely response would be "OH YEAH? WHY SHOULD I TRUST YOU?? TROLL!!" I have no idea how he thinks this is going to work for him.

 

[Maloongoo]

he'd probably ask for her phone number and once he hears her TRUE and HONEST voice he'll arrange to meet her at McDonalds or something

 

[CatParty]

Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet

where? his room? or mcdonald's while he is hiding behind his vidya?

 

[punchabunch]

Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet

where? his room? or mcdonald's while he is hiding behind his vidya?

Damnit Chris, if you want people to meet you then you need to say where your hideout IS. One of the more minor reasons why nobodys been assed to meet you is because nobody who hypotheticly would have a casual intrest would know where you would meet.

Of course, doing so would also tell dem trolls that you meet at mcdonalds so... keep doing what you do best. Nothing.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet

where? his room? or mcdonald's while he is hiding behind his vidya?

If Chris knows, it doesn't occur to him that others wouldn't know.