Oldfag / Old Internet Sperging Thread - ILJ calls herself "anonymous," she is a hacker on steroids.

[RadioactiveMonkeyMan]

How could you forget this classic?

Oh damn, that is unforgivable on my part.

 

[GumballFapper]

Bella tries really hard to act like a /b/tard than a oldfag in my opinion, down to the "neet lifestyle", CP and abhorrent hygiene

 

[Uncle Sid]

Oldfag Search: http://archie.icm.edu.pl/archie_eng.html

 

[Spooky Bones]

Oldfag Search: http://archie.icm.edu.pl/archie_eng.html

Oh man, the last time I used this it was on a terminal with amber text.

 

[Uncle Sid]

Oh man, the last time I used this it was on a terminal with amber text.

Monochrome CRT is true Oldfagtech.

ETA: or any CRT that you connect with an RCA jack, really...

 

[Glowie]

Bella tries really hard to act like a /b/tard than a oldfag in my opinion, down to the "neet lifestyle", CP and abhorrent hygiene

That would make first two year old oldfag by cuckchan standards. We are breaking records here boys!

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Today being Halloween, I decided to fuck with the major retard at school when I came out of science for break. He was dressed as Ash. Knowing this was going to happen, I brough a Mudkips doll. Thus I started the conversation, making sure no one saw me.
"So I heard you like Mudkips..." "Mudkips? I LUUUUUUUUUUUUVE MUDKIPS." "O RLY? So, would you ever fuck a Mudkips, that is.." (he cuts me off before I could said 'if you were a mudkips') "OF COURSE." "Well I just happen to have a Mudkips here, and."
Before I finished the sentence, which would have resulted in me hitting him across the face with the doll, he grabbed it. In one swift motion his pants were down and he was violenly humping it. Not to get between a man and his Mudkips I started to walk away, because there is no way I'd be caught wrestling a half-naked crazy guy humping a Mudkips.
Needles to say, within 5 to 10 seconds, some girls saw him and started screaming. I cooly walked into a restroom, pretending nothing had ever happened; not that I had intended that outcome, but now that it was in play I didn't want to be involved.
I came back two minutes later, and like any wanton act on school grounds there was now a huge crowd round him. He was still fucking it and baying this real fucked up 'EEEEEEEEEEINNNNF EEEEEEEEEEINNNF' sound. Suddenly a scuffle broke out in the middle, meaning he probably did something stupid.
I asked someone what had happened. A girlfriend of one of the football players tried to get him to stop, but he bit her for trying to take it away. Someone called in a few football players (all dressed up like Road Warrior) who proceeded to pummel the shit out of the guy. Meanwhile the school police were freaking out and having trouble getting in to the situation.
A few minutes later the intruder alarm went off and we were shuffled into classrooms. Over the intercom the principal announced that someone had thrown a flaming plush toy into the library. Uh.. what the hell.
So we were kept there and about 30 minutes later the principal announced that someone had thrown a flaming plush toy into the library. Uh.. what the hell.
So we were kept there and about 30 minutes later the principal came on again. This time he was saying that whoever was behind the beating should turn themselves in. All of a sudden this woman began yelling "I WILL SUE YOU FOR DAMAGES. YOU LITTLE PUNKS, I'M GONNA SUE..." and it was cut off.
I asked an office later what had happened. Apparently his mother had come to pick him up and threatened to sue for the beating and 'whatever else happened.' The school threatened to counter-sue because of lewd conduct, inciting a riot, and starting a fight.
So I ask you: do you like Mudkips?

 

[AnOminous]

Oh man, the last time I used this it was on a terminal with amber text.

Amber monochrome monitors are tech I miss even though they objectively sucked. The warmth of an amber monitor in a dark room and the purr of the tubes was always comforting. I also miss veronica. Unlike archie, the last instance of it isn't even working any more.
gopher://gopher.floodgap.com/1/v2
That's Veronica-2, a rework of it, and so far as I know, the last one that worked.

 

[rareblacklobster]

Niggers tongue my anus

 

[El Goblina]

ETA: Remember Smokedot? Remember Kuro5hin? I can't believe I really thought that Scoop was going to change the world and lead us into a utopia of user-driven journalism. Instead we got ... fucking influencers.

adequacy.org was the best thing to come out of kuro5hin

But yeah, I do miss those days, when your average community user was generally at least quasi competent. Now it's like the spirit of YouTube comments has infected everything.

If you haven't racked up a long distance bill dialing in to remote computers in the days before Internet, you're not that old of an oldfag.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Anyone ever use goto.com or hotbot.com?

Those were late 1990s search engines.

(Google was around too and better...)

 

[Uncle Sid]

If you haven't racked up a long distance bill dialing in to remote computers in the days before Internet, you're not that old of an oldfag.

I used to live right on the dividing line for "long distance." I was sysop on my highschool's BBS and had to call long distance just to log in. Needless to say, I would usually do what I could while on site and never log in from remote.

My friends and I created a "BBS Club" just so that we could convince the school to pay for a copy of WildCat BBS that we all then pirated. I was amazed they even paid for us to get a phone line.

ETA: They also gave us a computer to run the BBS on, and we stole half the RAM for our own boxes. They also installed a "networking lab" and we just used it to play multi-player DESCENT all day...

 

[Realistic Elephant]

The mention of Ebaumsworld on the Southwest Airlines thread reminded me of this gem from the YTMND/Ebaumsworld feud of 2006.

The Bauman E-mails: A Dramatic Reading

A reading of Neil Bauman's emails to Max Goldberg on Jan 10, 2006. Sorry for the flaky Brit accent and hamming it up. Also I dropped a couple of words. It's long. Hope you like it.

baumanletters.ytmnd.com

 

[Matt Damon]

The mention of Ebaumsworld on the Southwest Airlines thread reminded me of this gem from the YTMND/Ebaumsworld feud of 2006.

The Bauman E-mails: A Dramatic Reading

A reading of Neil Bauman's emails to Max Goldberg on Jan 10, 2006. Sorry for the flaky Brit accent and hamming it up. Also I dropped a couple of words. It's long. Hope you like it.

baumanletters.ytmnd.com

Holy shit, I hadn't thought about this in years.

I still remember the "THIS IS TRUE LUNACY" and "Yiddish cup" lines like it was yesterday.

 

[seri0us]

He was such an hero, to take it all away ... He was an hero, to take that shot, to leave us all behind ... He was an hero, to take that shot, In life it wasn't his task, He shouldn't have had to go that way, before an decade'd past. ... Lacking, nevermore, He died an hero, Mitchell did, And we'll love him forevermore.

 

[zero-who]

Hey /b/, I have a very serious problem. I'm fucking crying because of how stupid I am.

Okay, so my girlfriend was supposed to come over to my house today because I was going to go take her to a movie. She lives about 20 minutes away, and the movie we were supposed to see started at 4:15, which was in about 40 minutes. I figured "cool, I'll just play Pokemon while I wait".

So I'm playing Pokemon, and having a pretty damn good time. Anyway, she finally does show up, except she's crying as she walks into my room. Instead of doing the right thing by comforting her, I half-focus on my game and her. She starts telling me her cat died, and just as she was getting into it, I get into a random encounter in my game.

A shiny pidgey. Holy shit. (For those of you who don't know/care, shiny Pokemon have less than a 1/1,000 chance of appearing; 1/8192 to be exact.). I stare into my screen in amazement, yelling "holy shit, YES", interrupting her mid-story. She sobs more, and she starts to yell "You don't even fucking care! YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY YOUR FUCKING GAME!" I'm still looking at my screen, still focusing on catching my shiny Pidgey, when she walks over, and tosses the game against the wall. I run over and pick up my DS hoping that nothing has changed on screen, and quickly noticed that she broke it. My system and my shiny Pidgey, gone forever.

I start screaming every obscenity I know, and started flailing my arms around. I didn't know she was behind me, and apparently I backhanded her in the face while I was being a dumbass and swinging my fists around. She yells out "FUCK YOU", and runs out of my house in tears.

What have I done? I've fucked up so badly, and I need to know how to approach her. I don't want a game of Pokemon to be responsible for ruining my best relationship ever. Help me, /b/.

 

[Fuck It We'll Do It Live]

>Merge-worthy connections or similarities to old drama
for me, this has gotta be the fact that @Psychic Espeon aka Sean Walker, the guy who co conspired with Bella to frame Fiona and also convince Chris to kill himself a la Randy Stair, allegedly had Thaddeus fucking McMicheal in his discord server at some point before all this shit went down.
For those who don't know, Madthad is back online, out of prison, and as Mr. Sean Walker himself explains:
View attachment 2445113

The same fucking guy trying to convince Chris to kill himself to reunite with his OCs in the spirit world (or something) is also in contact with this fucking guyView attachment 2445116

he was one of my fave lolcows from back in the day - idk if 2010 exactly counts as oldfag territory, but it was 11 years ago - and the fact that he is somehow connected to one of the fucking freaks from this saga is seriously making me question reality.
The merge is fucking on

Looks like he hasn't changed one bit:

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

Holy shit, I hadn't thought about this in years.

I still remember the "THIS IS TRUE LUNACY" and "Yiddish cup" lines like it was yesterday.

I stumbled across this thread and I can hear this post despite also having not seen or thought about ytmnd in God knows how long. It was the best website on the net in it's day.

 

[Cowboy Kim]

Posting this here, mostly because I don't know quite where else to put this.
I was looking for any archives and/or screenshots of the original /g/ thanks to a thread on nu-/g/ discussing the boards history, where it seemed like no tangible records exist.
Wound up finding this file on Internet Archive, which, to my knowledge, hasn't been mentioned anywhere (may be wrong, don't remember bibanon or archiveteam mentioning it).
Included are hand-archived html files of /u/, /g/, /d/, /l/, /f/, /b/, and others I forgot along with both thumbs and full images (no /a/ or /v/, unfortunately.)
Unfortunately, its only the boards front pages, so nothing crazy, but still neat.

 

[cuddle striker]

this thread made my arthritis flare up.