In my city, there lives a guy - let's call him M - who has many trappings of a LOLcow. He combines a grand number of characteristics of CWC as well as ADF.
M is unemployed and

-subsisting; in his case justifiedly though, as he's physically disabeled: He's spastic. While not confined to a wheelchair - M can walk, or rather hobble along at a slow pace - he's definitely unable to do any kind of physical work. Intellectual work is even more out of the question: M isn't autistic or anything but VERY VERY STUPID.
So how does he spend his time?
Like ADF, M is fascinated by politics. He has been a member of a number of political organizations and parties: The German Bro... um, Pirate Party, Die Linke (the Socialist Party) as well as some conservative movements. M seems to be of a multi-partisan mind, or maybe he doesn't really care about political ideas as long as he's somehow involved with politics.
Concerning his own political aims, well, they're sorta hard to pinpoint. Usually, he gives long rambling speaches on politics that make you fall asleep after a few sentences, and which culminate in him pushing some rather unusual viewpoints, such as that there should be communal singing in all parliaments to strengthen the spirits of politicians.
Nonetheless, M actually once got elected to a local city council.
M is also an inventor. When suffering from "nerve inflammation" in his arm, he pushed a tuning fork against it and the inflammation died down. According to M, this was because the fork created "positive frequencies" or something. He actually tried to patent this miracle cure.
When not holding tuning forks against his body or campaigning for parliamentary sing-alongs, M is usually drunk. He is known to hobble around the city and asking people to invite him for a beer. Those who have done this have stopped to do so by now because getting M drunk has...
unpleasant consequences.
As soon as M has the least amount of alcohol in his system, his understanding of physical boundaries disappears (not that it is very developed when he's sober). Being bisexual (and of course very vocal about it), he will get extremely touchy-gropy-creepy with any member of Homo Sapiens nearby.
I was once the victim of this. I spend New Year's 2012/13 at a pub in town and had the misfortune of being the object of drunk M's attention. First he babbled at me about his political views for what seemed to be a billion years. Then, when we went outside to see the fireworks, I could sense him creeping closer and closer and closer. I would take a step ahead, M would take a step in the same direction to creep up behind me. This went on for some minutes. When he began to rub against my arm, I roared at him in a very loud voice which finally made him stop. It was fucking disgusting!! :x
When drunk and horny, M's face will have an expression very similar to
ADF's in that grape jelly pic. It has been speculated that ADF intended to insert the jelly jar into his butt. Whatever ADF's plans were when he had this expression - with M the meaning has become very clear to everyone who has had to do with him. It means: "I AM HORNY AND DRUNK AND I WILL GROPE YOU BECAUSE I WANT TO!"
M is not always in a grinny mood though. Very often, he will babble to people about his spastic disability in a little whiny voice and, of course, creep closer and closer while doing so. This has not earned him much sympathy.
For a while, M used to be horribly smelly too. He probably didn't bathe at all for many days, but at least in this respect he has improved - nowadays, you cannot smell him from twenty meters away (which admittedly has also its disadvantages).
So, what is he up to now? Well, luckily I don't know. Today, I saw him at a laundromat, where, once again, there was this ADF-grin all over his face. I went away as fast as I could. Since New Year's 12/13 I know how Megan must have felt. PROTIP: Extremely unpleasant.