- Joined
- Oct 8, 2015
Ralph in the past 6 months has unironically entertained me more then anything Chris has done since around 2011 ngl.
🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit
- Thread starter PhoBingas
- Start date
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2021
Sorry I'm late, but I just saw this image in today's MATI and noticed no one else pointed out how retarded Ralph is.
You can tell by the band that is a Cohiba brand Cuban. The thing about Cohiba is they have two branches, one for their Cubans and one for the rest of their cigars. Cohiba is a pretty well known brand outside of their Cubans and has a reputation for being a more premium premium-cigar, often selling their sticks for $20+ when on average most sticks go for $8-$12. Personally, I think they justify the price, but that's not important.
Now the reputation of Cubans being the highest quality is overblown. A cigars flavor is distinguished by the environment the tobacco was grown, so every region develops tobacco with a distinct profile. Cuba is no different, but there isn't some special golden soil that makes Cubans better, they're just their own type. Not necessarily better or worse, just unique like all other regions. The mysticism surrounding Cubans comes from Americans not being able to buy them. They are artificially scarce in the states so the perceived value goes up.
Another thing to note about cigars is they mature like wine, the flavors become bolder and more complex with time. Whenever a cigar aficionado gets some rare or quality cigars they usually smoke a couple then and stash the bulk of them in a humidor to age them. Just like if you got a nice bottle of Scotch, you wouldn't polish the whole thing off in a weekend. Anyone who actually likes cigars, and doesn't just smoke them to pretend to be cultured/rich, would pick up a pack of Cubans and smuggle them home to age.
Now what's the point of all this cigar spergining? The point is Ethan Ralph is a retarded gunted out American tourist wigger. Cohiba's Cubans are one of THE Cuban cigars peddled to American tourists. They pretty much appear in every tourist trap spot that expects retarded gunted out American tourists like Ralph to come through, because they can up charge them 50-100%. Think about it, he's halfway across the planet from Cuba, why is he smoking a Cuban? Because some local cigar peddler noticed the trademarked American gunt and picked Ralph out as a sucker. Then, like the retarded wigger he is, he just smoked it on the spot instead of aging this cigar that he is trying to flex with. If it was actually a cigar worth flexing over you'd be a retard to smoke it immediately. It was probably dried out and bitter too, because a lot of the cigar peddlers are out in the sun all day and most tourist trap shops don't even have a humidor.
Granted I've had Cohiba's Cubans and they are pretty good cigars, but they are not in some special league. He could have bought another Cohiba of the exact same quality at home for half the price. This is just such a laughable attempt to flex his non-existant wealth, anyone who knows even a bit about cigars is laughing their asses off at this retard.
Also everything I've said is assuming the cigar is legit, it's not uncommon for them to reuse wrappers or print them out and stick them on some random cigar and charge retards $30+ for a $2 gas station cigar. It's hard to tell from just this picture though, but generally most cigar enthusiasts are hesitant about buying Cubans abroad because of how common the fakes are.
Now the reputation of Cubans being the highest quality is overblown. A cigars flavor is distinguished by the environment the tobacco was grown, so every region develops tobacco with a distinct profile. Cuba is no different, but there isn't some special golden soil that makes Cubans better, they're just their own type. Not necessarily better or worse, just unique like all other regions. The mysticism surrounding Cubans comes from Americans not being able to buy them. They are artificially scarce in the states so the perceived value goes up.
Another thing to note about cigars is they mature like wine, the flavors become bolder and more complex with time. Whenever a cigar aficionado gets some rare or quality cigars they usually smoke a couple then and stash the bulk of them in a humidor to age them. Just like if you got a nice bottle of Scotch, you wouldn't polish the whole thing off in a weekend. Anyone who actually likes cigars, and doesn't just smoke them to pretend to be cultured/rich, would pick up a pack of Cubans and smuggle them home to age.
Now what's the point of all this cigar spergining? The point is Ethan Ralph is a retarded gunted out American tourist wigger. Cohiba's Cubans are one of THE Cuban cigars peddled to American tourists. They pretty much appear in every tourist trap spot that expects retarded gunted out American tourists like Ralph to come through, because they can up charge them 50-100%. Think about it, he's halfway across the planet from Cuba, why is he smoking a Cuban? Because some local cigar peddler noticed the trademarked American gunt and picked Ralph out as a sucker. Then, like the retarded wigger he is, he just smoked it on the spot instead of aging this cigar that he is trying to flex with. If it was actually a cigar worth flexing over you'd be a retard to smoke it immediately. It was probably dried out and bitter too, because a lot of the cigar peddlers are out in the sun all day and most tourist trap shops don't even have a humidor.
Granted I've had Cohiba's Cubans and they are pretty good cigars, but they are not in some special league. He could have bought another Cohiba of the exact same quality at home for half the price. This is just such a laughable attempt to flex his non-existant wealth, anyone who knows even a bit about cigars is laughing their asses off at this retard.
Also everything I've said is assuming the cigar is legit, it's not uncommon for them to reuse wrappers or print them out and stick them on some random cigar and charge retards $30+ for a $2 gas station cigar. It's hard to tell from just this picture though, but generally most cigar enthusiasts are hesitant about buying Cubans abroad because of how common the fakes are.
tldr - Ralph fell for a tourist trap scam and tried to flex with it. No one is impressed, everyone is laughing at Ralph like usual.
Mackiavelli13
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 1, 2022
I think it's going to be a hell of a stream . We might get content for months out of that event only lets hope they end up fighting over cummies.
KingHarkinian
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2021
I smoke Phillies Titans. They come in a 5 pack for six dollars and I think they taste good.
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2021
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2021
Pride month baby
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2017
Ralph simultaneously eating BK, drinking Makers, and then smoking Cubans to pretend to be high class and have refined taste makes me laugh. He's so performative and he can't even be consistent. We've also seen what Meigh feeds him. You could do a blind smoke with any nice $9 AF, Rocky Patel, etc and a Cuban and he couldn't tell the difference. He probably couldn't tell the difference between my regular and a Cuban.
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2015
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2018
That's the thing, you are doing it right. You smoke what you like, and you aren't trying to use it as some weird flex. I smoke punch when i happen to want a cigar once every couple of months, when i smoked a bit more often it was garcia y vega. It was what I enjoyed, it wasn't to flex on anyone.I smoke Phillies Titans. They come in a 5 pack for six dollars and I think they taste good.
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2019
Mackiavelli13
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 1, 2022
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2022
This comes across as so outlandish, bizarre and insane I actually might think it was shopped as a gay op or something if I didn’t know much about Ralph. Great.
I love how people here talk about how he’s fat, a bad son, failed father, a pill-popping alcoholic felon wigger, his show is dying, can’t fight, is a vile gunt-sac haver, Cushing syndrome, rapist, fat faggot bitch….but he addresses the circumsicion question about his AIDS-ridden micro-clit that nobody on Earth asked.
Best part : talking about all the “hoes” he’s fucked. Forever-boyfriend of the year
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2014
Since Ralph is without a doubt losing weight and we're all extremely upset about it, it will be inevitable he will opt for a gunt removal surgery. It will be like the fall of Rome. Will probably crash the website and make Jim shoot himself in minecraft.
Victory Leo
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2019
But without the Gunt what would be left of Ralph?
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2021
he always wanted to when he was a kid, because he thought it was normal seeing all the other boys in the locker room with flat stomachs. Now he's proud of that meat apron.
- Joined
- May 14, 2021
He’s finally violated the last , and only, Restraining Order he hadn’t broken yet, and it was a self-imposed one- to not mention or interact with the Right/Left/stalker/Schizo/incel/godless KF.
Put on the dress Ralph.
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2019
There was a time when a desire to be a writer was writhing around in that brain of his. You know a goal. An aspiration beyond dying at age 45 of liver failure.
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2022
According to Nick, Ralph is not a member of AF at all. He just recently argued with some autistic sperg about Ralph and said that Ralph is "doing his own thing" and is not a part of America First and would never get to speak at one of their conferences, he is only an attendee who has to buy his own ticket.
- Joined
- Jul 28, 2021
After reviewing the 05:10 Min video again, I can say he is indeed partially circumcised.
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2014
You fell for the Ralphatrick and had to look at his dick again.