r/polyamory

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The thing that surprises me about this community is that when I used to know people who were in these types of relationships, back in the 90s and 00s, they were all about boundaries, scheduling partner dates in advance, making deals about who it was and wasn't ok to sleep with.

Now it seems like this whole reddit community (plus things like Kimchi Cuddles) are advocating a whole new type of polyamory that would have been unrecognizable back then: a version where all boundaries are stupid and irrational, and you're never supposed to let your stupid feelings get in the way of your partner's fuck.

Back then the drama was usually "I want to fuck this person but my partner says no, and it gives me sadfeelz." Now it's "I let my partner fuck people I didn't want them to fuck and it gives me sadfeelz."

It almost strikes me as a parallel to the cotton ceiling phenomenon becoming a more and more accepted part of online trans communities. Overall, it seems like there's a general trend in online communities toward believing in the destruction of sexual boundaries in favor of a "liberated" ideology that consists of having to let other people walk all over you.
 
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Dysnomia said:
If they're miserable with each other why not just break up? Sometimes it's time to just realise it's not working out. Instead they go into polyamory because they think cheating is inevitable?

I think most polyamorous people toot their own horns a lot while actually being very miserable with the situation. But they've gotten into a community and will lose all their friends and their support system if they decide that it's not for them. Because they aren't really that open minded if they REEEE at anyone with a different opinion or anyone who admits how miserable they are.
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Because they want to have it all with no consequences. If they break up, it makes them the bad guy and their former partner the victim, and we can't have that. It's more about emotionally manipulating the other person to dump you first, that way you can claim all those sweet victim points while demonizing your ex for being so mean and un-woke.
 
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Dysnomia said:
If they're miserable with each other why not just break up? Sometimes it's time to just realise it's not working out. Instead they go into polyamory because they think cheating is inevitable?

I think most polyamorous people toot their own horns a lot while actually being very miserable with the situation. But they've gotten into a community and will lose all their friends and their support system if they decide that it's not for them. Because they aren't really that open minded if they REEEE at anyone with a different opinion or anyone who admits how miserable they are.
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:powerlevel: that couple was quite weird, they did act very in love, but when they talked about their poly/open relationship arrangement they looked miserable. the situation was a bit different from regular polys though. they used to be open and "communicating" like proper polys, but at some point they agreed upon not telling each other about their side pieces, who exactly they are meeting up with and what they're doing when they're out alone because the jealousy and hurt was too much for them. still didn't seem happy with that, seems a bit illogical to go all secretive again instead of stopping this bullshit alltogether but ok. I don't get how they got into this to begin with (probably through cheating..), because both of them were extremely jealous, like at partys neither the chick nor the guy would tolerate stranger singles talking to their SO
my partner at the time thought they were a perfect example of a healthy relationship lol obviously we didn't last long
 
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None More Black said:
It makes me depressed seeing how many of these nitwits apparently have kids.
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Doesn't seem like they really care about how their relationships affect their kids. I mean they're willing to screw with their partner's sanity for their own fantasies/pleasure and will guilt trip them into letting them open the relationship.

Though they'll probably regret it if they end up having to pay for therapy for their kids. So their choices will bite them in the ass eventually.
 
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this might seem like a great deal for nu-males but the girl is always going to get the longer stick because women have higher sexual market value (until they reach a certain age, then you see the dynamic shift)

A great peak into this culture is the Swingers documentary Louis Theroux did, but I'm sure it's incredibly dated by the crazy standards of reddit polyamorists.
 
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Orkeosaurus said:
this might seem like a great deal for nu-males but the girl is always going to get the longer stick because women have higher sexual market value (until they reach a certain age, then you see the dynamic shift)

A great peak into this culture is the Swingers documentary Louis Theroux did, but I'm sure it's incredibly dated by the crazy standards of reddit polyamorists.
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The two sorts of women I imagine go for this are either spoiled for choice or desperate for options. In the couple I mentioned earlier, it was the latter. The male getting more attention drove her up a wall; I can only imagine that's the case typically. I wonder what the response would be if you said you were a male with essentially a harem of disabled women.
 
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yawning sneasel said:
So here is an example from one of my favorite personal lolcows. It is Natalie Fortune. This idiot should have a thread here tbh, but he knows how to lock his fuckery down so unless you have accounts watching him on websites, eh, you won't be finding stuff on him.

Anyhow, here he is with some of his friends. What you notice is that he is essentially teaching trannies how to groom other trannies on how to be polytards like him.
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Another thing you notice is that whenever there is a tranny talking, there's a fuckton of responses. Cisdudes? none. lol totally not a fetish.

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Or when they are responding they get beat up on passive aggressively for being cis.

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Essentially, what you find over time is that trannies are just autogynephiles who want to live out what they see in tranny porn. No shame in that, do what you want, but the scramble to stay on the high horse is funny.
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This is exactly why I'm so critical of ~polyamory~. Notice the people saying "how do I make my partner accept polyamory?" or "I was really reluctant to try polyamory, but my partner made me see the light!"

So many ~polyamorous~ relationships boil down to one partner deciding they want to fuck as many people as possible and then browbeating their partner into tolerating it. "If you don't let me fuck whoever I want whenever I want, Steve, we're finished. Also, monogamy is incredibly outdated and oppressive. Wanting to belong to just one person is something society brainwashes into us. Don't fall for it." They basically manipulate and emotionally abuse their partners into feeling bad about wanting a monogamous relationship.
 
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I have a buddy who's a low-key swinger. He and his wife are sweethearts who just always seem relaxed and happy. My wife has a friend who is poly with her husband and they always seem to have some massively terrible drama and constantly talk shit about other people they fuck around with.

Then again, the swingers are in the early 40s, attractive and well to do, the polys are in their late 20s, aging really bad and are live in squalor
 
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