Containment Random Chris Updates

Shabobus said:
It would be a huge improvement if he would just take the five seconds to switch markers and color the tongue differently than the inside of the cheek. But that's Chris, unwilling to put in more than the bare minimum effort.
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He does color them different colors (usually), but Crayola's standard red and pink markers are hard to distinguish from one another side-by-side, especially in such a small area.
 
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Monolith said:
I'd say it's supposed to be more like this:
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That is amazing and terrifying in equal amounts. Reminds me of Nicole Watterson when she imagines herself as a botoxed trophy wife. Makes me realise that when Christian imagines himself as a woman, it's never as a normal, run of the mill, girl next door, but a hyper sexuallised, slutty temptress, willing to put everything out on first contact.

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The American Hedgehog said:
Probably has to do with the lore bible he had announced.
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Lazy cunt that he is those old tweets probably are the lore bible...

Once again and without fail Chris shits on someone's vastly superior interpretation of his nightmare rats...
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That being notable for one of the few things he does without fail...
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Oof...

Characteristically oblivious to being poked fun at Chris tries desperately to cover his ignorance and witlessness with meaningless psychobabble only to appear even more the fool that he undeniably is...
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You see you know its Sonichu because he said dude...

Now three for one, shits on the artist, rambles incoherently and all humour is completely lost as it flies over his greasy greasy head...
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What still astonishes me is that after all these years and countless trolls/weens he seems completely unable/unwilling to learn from his many many mistakes. that and a total lack of any self awareness...
Nothing new I know but like, Chris, dude, she's clearly making fun of you, and yet he continues on and on with all the Sonichu merge deity goddess hog shit thinking that anyone buys any of it.
 
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Mariposa Electrique said:
Every biblical figure is going to Chirs, Sonichu, or Magi-Chan, isn't it?
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Quoting myself like a vainglorious faggot here, but my take was


Tiger Tanaka said:
Given the need to be in everything, Christian will appear in almost every story

The Good Samaritan
And the injured traveler lay on the road, when 2 jerk-cops passed him by and kicked him for being autistic. Just then a Good Sonichu passed by, and helped the traveler to a soup hotel. Then he saw that it was actually Liquid Chris so shot them in both knees.

Samson
Sonichu was very strong, but then an internet troll posing as a boyfriend free girl cut off his spines. When he had no power he cried out for help, but nobody came. They mocked and laughed at him... but Chris chan showed up and saved the day.

Moses
Christian said to Mary Lee Walsh, let my Sonichus go. She refused, so he sent down the plagues of Bed Bugs, Love Quest Signs, Scabies, Sports Bras, Bad Artwork, Lightning Bolts that zapped to the extreme, unsolicited kisses at conventions, stress sighs, pickles, and belching. Mary let the Sonichus go and offered to free the Jews too, but Christian said NO, SNYDER IS A DIRTY JEW, and so they perished.

Abraham
Christian said to Punchy, sacrifice your PS3 to please me. Punchy did, but Christian gave him a new PS3 and a PS4 and a PS5 and the moral was lost.

Noah
Chris puts the household pets into Patti's dog house that weighs 5 to 10 tons. After 20 minutes of autistic murmuring he forgets why he did this and lets them out.

Adam and Eve
Christian meets a girl, who is also his sister and daughter Crystal, who sticks an apple up her cooch. The Financhu Crisis kicks Christopher out of Eden.

The Crucifixion
Christian (who is god and the son/daughter of god) knows he will be betrayed by da trolls. At the last supper he orders pizza, but they refuse to deliver. He goes out into the garden and the Jerkcops try to seize him but he beats them anyway. He isn't crucified. His definition of sacrifice is that he was picked on in school and blocked by the brony community. The bronies realize he is the son/daughter of God and unblock him.
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LOL I laughed hard at that scary thought. I think your 3 wise lesbians would be an excellent addition to the nativity scene, and aboundedvampirexx suggesting Borb. You'd have:

Chris Chan being conceived by immaculate conception, because nobody believes Bob had the stamina to climb and mount the impressive Snorlax.

The 3 wise lesbians bringing a sports bra, Oestrogel and Fanta... but then Chris would demand more gifts, so they'd offer Lego, Playstation Games, and Convention passes. He'd then push his luck and ask for money for his sick pets, and they'd agree. He'd then ask for money for his broken down car and Barb's ear medicine, and they'd sigh and agree. He'd then ask for sex and they'd try and drown him in the donkey's water trough.

The star above the sky would be a Google Map icon telling folk of a new Pokegym at the stable. The yellow street view character would then tell the shepherds that the Son/Daughter of God, whilst simultaneously being God/Goddess, whilst simultaneously being a witness to God, and also the master of all OCs has been born in Ruckersville. The shepherds, all being cute girls, would refuse to attend, so Bob has to bribe them to show up.

The animals of the stable would all be Bearsten animatronics who would get names and details wrong, leading to centuries of holy wars trying to determine who or what the correct name, gender, and IQ of Christian should be.

Finally, the baby won't stop being noisy or crying, so Bob and Barb go out for drinks with the nice lesbians, whilst they put the shepherd on babysitting detail. They put Christian in his bedroom and somehow this, not years of shitty parenting or being a spastic, is what causes Chris's autism. She is paid 30 pieces of silver for her babysitting services.
 
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Okay, this is small potatoes but this popped up in my feed. I'd been believing chris blindly hated Trump like when he kicked his toys and threw them in the litter box, but here we have a case of chris liking a mildly positive clip of the president. I guess chris is softening his political views?
 
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