Containment Random Chris Updates

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
A Grey Cat said:
They consist of zoomers who took the shitty hand that their parents and grandparents generation gave them and turned it into something of a profitable source of income
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is that what you'd call it? are you sure there wasn't maybe like two hundred and thirty bucks made and then split between four dumb fags?
 
Glassshardballpit said:
I knew there was one I was forgetting.

I wonder why he even needs the money; his parents own a $900,000 home.

Maybe he needs a little side cash for something.
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He needs the cash for more sex toys and video games as he usually does. I'm surprised he's never tried to sell the house behind Bob and Barb's backs to acquire the funds needed for that.
 
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Glassshardballpit said:
I knew there was one I was forgetting.

I wonder why he even needs the money; his parents own a $900,000 home.

Maybe he needs a little side cash for something.
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House isn't in his name, and there's still a mortgage on it

He has no avenues to get another mortgage, or refinance, or any of that shit, to put some extra cash in his pocket using the house as collateral
 
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UncommonParlence said:
It may become difficult for the irs to ignore if weens(ie reddit) start to mass report heyzeus christ. Enough accusations could trigger some sort of action... couldn't it? Whatever.

Also, its much easier to get in trouble for benefit fraud then it is for tax fraud. I know someone who went to prison for lying on their food stamp app(so that they'd get more "stamps").
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They've been this for years and absolutely nothing has happened to him. Why would it be any different this time? Unless Chris starts making an obscene amount of money, it is highly unlikely the IRS is going to give a crap about him. They've got much bigger tax cheats to worry about.
 
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BobJones997 said:
They've been this for years and absolutely nothing has happened to him. Why would it be any different this time? Unless Chris starts making an obscene amount of money, it is highly unlikely the IRS is going to give a crap about him. They've got much bigger tax cheats to worry about.
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To be honest I think a stream of Chris bitching about getting letters from the IRS about whatever amount he owes them rather than these asinine projects would be so much funnier.

That, at least, would be entertainment.
 
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Glassshardballpit said:
To be honest I think a stream of Chris bitching about getting letters from the IRS about whatever amount he owes them rather than these asinine projects would be so much funnier.
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i don't think anything chris does is funny or entertaining anymore. its clear that praetor is just playing into his delusions and doing idea guys lite with him in an attempt to gain etsy money from the genosamuel reddit crowd. i fully expect more greenscreen karaoke music videos of chris staring blankly into his monitor with the wordpad script he is reading out reflecting off his glasses
 
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Kirby said:
i don't think anything chris does is funny or entertaining anymore. its clear that praetor is just playing into his delusions and doing idea guys lite with him in an attempt to gain etsy money from the genosamuel reddit crowd. i fully expect more greenscreen karaoke music videos of chris staring blankly into his monitor with the wordpad script he is reading out reflecting off his glasses
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Well, I watched maybe 10 seconds of Chris's interpretive dance/return video.

And I felt like all sanity had left me
 
themarchivist2 said:
A nutritional analysis of Chris's parfait:
  • A small apple - 15g sugar
  • A small mandarin orange - 8g sugar
  • Half a banana - 6g sugar
  • 3 Strawberries - 3g sugar
  • ~4tbsp Great Value Whipped Topping - 2g sugar, 4g saturated fat
  • One piece of Hershey's Special Dark chocolate - 3g sugar, 1.5g saturated fat
  • 4 maraschino cherries - 8g sugar
While decently low-fat, this parfait alone contains 45 grams of sugar, which is 9g over an adult man's recommended daily intake. Surprisingly, though, most of the sugar comes from the fruit rather than the toppings. Even including just the fruit (and halving the sugar for the cherries), he would still be hitting the recommended daily limit. I went into this looking to argue that Chris's parfait was less unhealthy than it looked, and left realizing that fruit is apparently really fucking bad for you.
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This is still probably the most healthiest meal that Chris ate assuming that he's still on his usual diet of fast food and microwaved meals after leaving jail. This in comparison is an oasis in a desert of grease and cheese!

I don't know how nutritious jail food is but I'm pretty sure it's no better than slop from public school cafeterias pre-Michelle Obama.
 
Chris Chan's doing a live stream at 6 PM EST: https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1718993885710504374
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Kirby said:
i don't think anything chris does is funny or entertaining anymore. its clear that praetor is just playing into his delusions and doing idea guys lite with him in an attempt to gain etsy money from the genosamuel reddit crowd. i fully expect more greenscreen karaoke music videos of chris staring blankly into his monitor with the wordpad script he is reading out reflecting off his glasses
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Praetor has to know this stuff with Chris getting money at the levels he is currently, just isn't going to last. While that first video, with him doing the dance stuff was moderately entertaining, the Jesus stuff is excruciatingly boring. After awhile, when Chris doesn't dance for money, because he just expects people to give him money, he'll see a drop in donations. So far the novelty of being back is there, but if it's just him yammering on about the same Jesus stuff over and over in front of a green screen, people are going to lose interest fast.

That's one reason I think Praetor has gotten their corporation set up, and holding onto all the money. Once they see Chris is no longer profitable, they'll probably just close shop and leave with the money. We'll see some definite fireworks then, but who knows? Maybe Chris is just so old and medicated that he'll barely make any noise.
 
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POWER IN MISERY said:
is that what you'd call it? are you sure there wasn't maybe like two hundred and thirty bucks made and then split between four dumb fags?
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The etsy shop numbers says it has generated 6 figures of income selling soda wrappers, scribblings, and rocks from 14BC.
Tennis-Ball-Tony said:
just isn't going to last
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I think you underestimate how many retards are willing to give Chris/Praetor money, whether that's to "troll" him on stream or to buy actual garbage and dirt. The etsy shop is now entirely sold out of soda+junk food wrappers, dirt from 14BC, and Medallions. Lots of the scribblings have been purchased or are reserved, at an insane price. Sure everything doesn't last forever, but Caden has already made a cool 6 figures and will easily pull down another 6 figures before the well dries up. There's too many fucking retards on this planet.

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Mariposa2.0 LTE said:
This will end in rape again. I hope everyone is okay with contributing to that because it will happen.
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And I ask again, where is Derpitus C.P. Flutters?

Of course I expect no answer because we have no idea but one can either assume she's being used somehow (likely), she got away somehow (somewhat less likely) or she's masterminding this puppy with Caden (like 90 percent not likely).
 
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King Metalia said:
He needs the cash for more sex toys and video games as he usually does. I'm surprised he's never tried to sell the house behind Bob and Barb's backs to acquire the funds needed for that.
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He never would sell 14BC. For better or worse, that place is part of his identity, even moreso ever since he started calling it the 'sonichu temple' because of-fucking-course.

And going off of the one letter from jail, I would be confident in saying he thinks that when Barb dies, he'll still get the house. He isn't, of course.
 
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