Containment Random Chris Updates

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What is Chris even supposed to be doing in Cwcville right now?

He says he's a goddess who's always fighting villains but as far as I can tell all he's done so far this year is go to a convention.
 
Snuckening said:
Not content with just stealing away Chris's galpals, a certain villainous orange Hedgehog turned up on tv, to mock Chris's magical goddess-powers, too.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=E6pkvxMqf04:1241
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Duncan Hills Coffee said:
Talk about moving up in the world. It's surreal to see someone tangentially related to Chris show up on mainstream media. Plus Wes actually did a good job on the show and appears to be a legitimately talented magician.
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Alex Krycek said:
Real talk. He and I have a mutual friend on Facebook and the friend I’m speaking of is a very talented magician and once named Wes as one of the most underrated he had ever known. I had to do a double take because of course I knew who that was. I didn’t mention Chris because the guy is in his 60s and trying to explain why a random autistic guy drew his friend as a Sonic Recolor was going to be impossible. Still it was cool to know he would be better known in the world than just an evil orange monster.
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Thanks for sharing, @Snuckening. I'm so unbelievably happy for Wes. I almost wish Chris could see this.
TheOnlyYamchaFan said:
Man, if chris is goddess level by being able to make rocks fall out of his hand, then wes is the one supreme being of all reality.
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Man, now I really want Chris to see this.
Tikbalang said:
Unlike what he gave to sock
View attachment 1442869
Not mentioning to seek a doctor
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Chris should remember this the next time he gets a UTI from shoving his dick up his ass.
 
I feel like Chris is now in the dying embers phase... his life is just fading away, he's at a dead-end, Barb on her last legs. Chris will never get a job.... one quick Google and his lolcow life will be revealed to a potential employer.... No woman will ever date him either.

It's a slow and sad ending but maybe the old Horse' can conjure up some magic and somehow have a comeback.
 
Sonicpoo said:
I feel like Chris is now in the dying embers phase... his life is just fading away, he's at a dead-end, Barb on her last legs. Chris will never get a job.... one quick Google and his lolcow life will be revealed to a potential employer.... No woman will ever date him either.

It's a slow and sad ending but maybe the old Horse' can conjure up some magic and somehow have a comeback.
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I bet eventually they'll be a 'mid life crisis saga' when Chris eventually realises things aren't turning out how he expected, probally around the time Barb finally croaks.

I don't think getting a job has really been an issue for a long time, it's just so unlikely to happen at this point but Chris does have the potential to make a living from his internet infamy if he decided to return to making regular vlogs or whatever.
 
Pickle Inspector said:
I bet eventually they'll be a 'mid life crisis saga' when Chris eventually realises things aren't turning out how he expected, probally around the time Barb finally croaks.
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I dunno, I think it’ll be just a repeat of the post-Bob dry spell. Chris will be too depressed to really interact much and just play more vidya, or escape more deeply in his merge fantasy. He’ll scramble to get his ass into a subsidized living arrangement, probably get backpay, will move into an apartment not too dissimilar from Jake’s, and eventually will bounce back to his usual ignorant, jovial self. Actually, without Barb around to nag on him, he’ll probably feel way better than before since he won’t need to worry about her randomly barging in and wrecking his shit because he ignored her demands.

Only thing left to worry about would be the dogs but I’m pretty sure Chris would put them up for adoption or something. Then again they’re so poorly trained and hostile to people that I’m unsure that a kennel would be able to rehome them without special training.

Bottom line: Chris will be forced to jump through hoops, which he’s had to do before with the house fire/hit and run/pepper spray incidents and he’ll somehow end up unscathed like a drunk hobo wandering through a minefield uninjured.
 
Chris snapping at Sockness, despite being hypocritical as fuck, is really nice to see. Sockness is unbelievably boring and annoying, the quicker Chris finally cuts him off (Optimistic I know) the better
 
Pickle Inspector said:
I bet eventually they'll be a 'mid life crisis saga' when Chris eventually realises things aren't turning out how he expected, probally around the time Barb finally croaks.

I don't think getting a job has really been an issue for a long time, it's just so unlikely to happen at this point but Chris does have the potential to make a living from his internet infamy if he decided to return to making regular vlogs or whatever.
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Chris has been making an ass of himself on the Internet for 20 years and trolled for 13 of those years and in all those years the only thing he's changed about himself has been identifying as a woman and a CPU Goddess. The man is incapable of looking at himself critically and making any effort to really change his life. If anything he will regress further into childhood and merge fantasies unless its absolutely necessary like dealing with court hearings or finding a place to stay when he gets evicted from his house.

I personally think the window for Chris to capitalize off his Internet fame has long passed but even if there was an opportunity to make money he wouldn't take it. Drawing comics for Patreon supporters, making Medallions, doing commissions, making videos, all of that becomes work in the end and the one thing Chris hates more than anything else is work.
 
Strange Wilderness said:
Chris has been making an ass of himself on the Internet for 20 years and trolled for 13 of those years and in all those years the only thing he's changed about himself has been identifying as a woman and a CPU Goddess. The man is incapable of looking at himself critically and making any effort to really change his life. If anything he will regress further into childhood and merge fantasies unless its absolutely necessary like dealing with court hearings or finding a place to stay when he gets evicted from his house.
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The main factor I think which might spur on a change is loneliness, he’d suddenly be living in an empty house after 40 years of living with his parents, maybe Chris will decide the time is right for a replacement mom wife and we’ll get another love quest. Or maybe he’ll just regress further like you say.
 
You guys are starting to sway off topic and into what will happen when barb dies territory. But it is still a depressing thought. Chris situation went from being a hilarious fanboy who really was no different than the other dime a dozen sonic fanboys who took to the internet to rant about how they still loved him even though the 90s were over and the games were getting worse and worse.

To a laughingstock who constantly disclosed embarrassing info about himself, went out in public with a sign trying to pick up women like he was a toddler running a lemonade stand and showed of his crappy comic.

And finally whatever this is... At least in the past we had the impression Chris Chan the internet persona was just an act for attention kinda like those brony analysists he worships now, but no he's the same buffoon online as he is off
 
I love the part early on when chris responds. He breaks character then hops back into it. All it would have taken was 3 seconds to look at what he wrote but nope. If chris really wants sockness to stop his love quest then all chris would have to do is hire sockness a hooker.
 
FAT Jacob Sockness is being strung along by Chris to make more of a lulcow of himself.
#4dChess

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Chris Chan Sonichu/CPU Blue Heart⚡️💙⚡️ on Twitter: "@JacobSockness I…

archived 14 Jul 2020 10:37:25 UTC
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