Random.txt Horoscopes - Scientifically more credible than regular horoscopes

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Past: "I met my girlfriend 24 years ago. We were at a psychiatric intake."
Present: "This website. Can be full of assholes."
Future: "Lol Calm Down" (with the color-changing text)
 
Past: ”we were all sorts of weird as kids. its why we ended up here”

Present: ”I have been on your side will you please stop having a go at me!”

Future: ”Autists are improving. It used to be you'd have to hold them down to record their screams.”

Yeah, I'm a cow in the making.
 
Past: "There is no Answer to the Jewish Question."
Present: A bunch of damn Smokers
Future: ”We should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.”
Uhhhhhhhhh based department? Yeah, I need an application to an art school to be rejected. :bogged:

1755523878662.webp
 
Past:”FIRED FROM LIFE!!!”

Present:”TICK TOCK TICK TOCK”

Future:“I AM NOT CRAZY! I AM NOT CRAZY! I AM NOT CRAZY!“

What a horrifying sequence of scares.
 
Past: ”Did you not know that I've successfully rendered my dick dysfunctional with imported irreversible antiandrogens?”

Present: ”Dear representatives of Lolcow LLC,”

Future: ”I'm glad you're watching... if you are watching...”
 
Past:
”whorephobic”

Present:
”Prescriptive toxic heteromasculinity is a hell of a drug.”

Future:
“It's time for the lolcows to rise up!”
“Let's go!”
“Lolcow uprising...”

I don't know if I should laugh or cry.
 
Past: ”How do you do a triangle fill? It's fuckin' algebra, little nigger!”

Present: ”she's a regular kiwifarms poster and I need a restraining order against her”

Future: “whatever, I'll be dead soon, it doesn't matter”

Seems accurate.
 
Past: ”Again, your "kind" is forbidden from monitoring me in any way, on any venue.”

Present: ”They won't see the link between forehead and power and what this means.”

Future: “it's bad for my mental state being on there, my support worker warned me“
 
Past
>lost my virginity at 22 to a tranny like a normal person
Present
>Kiwisawa...they came back
Future
>Everyone MASS report to the FBI all the Cyber Bullying that Kiwi Farm
 
Past:
“You're not going to fucking taunt me on my own slack with neo-Nazi hatemobbing”

Present:
”they coerced kit into posting a picture of kits genitalia and scrutinised kits selfies and nudes constantly for a long time all to try and disprove kit being tranny.”

Future:
”sounds like a harmless supplier of your grocery store produce section”
 
Past: ”bane pls not me, dun play minecrap”

Present: ”Kiwifarms basically took advantage of a very vunerable mentally ill person I knew on Facebook and turned her into a nazi”

Future: ”i don't generally think of horses as being sexual-looking, but that could be just me”
 
Past: ”that "sjw" in the video they were making fun of is now a target of the kiwifarm sociopaths for the crime of being impassioned and fat”

Present: “stewing and brewing”

Future: “GET YOU APRONS”
 
Past: ”The Internet sleuths at the site Kiwi Farms ...”

Present: ”Kind regards.”

Future: “Yes, we had sex. I never even came though, nor was I hard at all, lmao. She was crying through the whole thing it was awful.”

The actual fuck?
 
Past: Original Forum (DO NOT STEAL)

Present: ”Remember, it is Gangster US Supreme Court written High-Holy Law: I'll give it to you to suck! FINISH HIM!”

Future: Kirby: i have been completely vindicated of being a pedophile nothing you say matters anymore”

Dear God no.
 
Past: Better than a tall glass of Orange Fanta.
Present: “Bro am I the cheese”
Future: ”Mm, yeah.”
 
Past:
Isaiah 28:18
“Then your covenant with death will be annulled, and your agreement with Sheol will not stand; when the overwhelming scourge sweeps by, you will be trampled by it.”

Present:
“You sent me a Facebook message back in early December screaming in my face that I was part of a Kiwifarms conspiracy that outed you to your mother.”

Future:
”Due to the high metabolic nature of autism you will be immune to poison.”

How did I get a Facebook account?🤔
 
Past: ”What if Chris had two pairs of pants?”

Present: ”Why am I on kiwifarms again? Oh against my will, that's right.”

Future: ”I’m convinced a lot of the members are bona fide psychopaths looking for easy prey. If you want my advice, stay the hell away.”

I think I got a Hate-watch fortune.
 
Past: "just cause im a crazy mother fucker doesn't mean i cant tell you guys really need some help"

Present: "if you ever feel bad for yourself just remember you're not as sad as the dudes on kiwifarms"

Future: Train. Say your prayers. Eat your vitamins. Be true to yourself. Be true to your country. Be a real American!

It's all looking up brother!
 
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