random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[The Connected Nose]

Everything that doesn't appeal to YOU specifically is clearly designed for tranny faggot niggers. Only kino-enjoying giga-Chads like YOU specifically appreciate whatever media you think you like.

 

[MrJokerRager]

Why not sue Lockheed Martin and Raytheon, their products kill way more people.

 

[frozen_runner]

Just let him die choking on an arbies beef and cheddar while his rented whore dusts his walmart arcade cabinets.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I swear I'm not a troon, I just like Super Nintendo.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

tea-niggers love their soccer.

 

[Tablet County]

hello Nigger Steak Sandwich I hope we answered your question on problems with your coworker.

I can claim that God has appeared to me personally in a burnt Pop Tart and has spoken to me directly saying, quote, "You. Yes you, with the Pop Tart there. I am the Almighty, Ruler of Heaven and Earth and every goddamn thing in between, and I hate your guts, you fucking faggot." How are you going to disprove me?

 

[KiwiFuzz]

There goes my dream of creating a tiny clone of hitler and asking people if he deserves to suffer.

You are logically a nigger, ethics is a womanly trait. So called "ethics" is nothing but a jewish smokescreen that applies to some but not to all. You are a subhuman who will not survive in this cruel world and myself and my people will be sure of that.

Oh, nooooo, I can't show up at a fagfest and get AIDS and monkeypox without a shot for the coof.

I am waiting for Nazi Santa Claus and his toys made by Jews in concentration camps. I mean, you already have the red. All it takes is a little swastika.

Well we're all going to die, man.

I mean, greek niggas lived in Wine Barrels on the street and jacked off in front of dogs to protest unsensible morality shit. So, if anything, holding a sign and screaming troon murder is good for society.

Pffft, Saturn, Uranus, Centaurs, wobbly Hs on Chiron; what is this? Astrology erotica? I don't need to know the drama between celestials when I have the Real Housewives of Miami.

*Checks schedule* I guess I'll be fine because I don't have any plans lined up involving rampant degenerate homosexual activity.

RIP public school children

He'll have to eat a few for me, I was kicked out of the dick buffet for eating too many

Fuck my of age, alive, consenting, and non-related wife for forcing me to go to dinner with her parents. I'M SICK OF IT!

Perhaps our reparations are the friends we made along the way.

United the sticks are weak, but together they form a mighty faggot able to handle far more.

 

[vomitusdeux]

I wanna stick my cock inside of the blobfish owner's hairbuns

Do I look like I have a Telegram Account? I've not used Telegram in months retard. Get off this freaking forum before me and my team of Politicans find you and put you behind fucking bars; I swear to God if I find you, I'll beat you up and on top of that you'll be beaten in a fucking prison cell during interrogation.

Evil Rabbi Security sounds kind of dope.

If it's just to torture them in their very own cum jar, then sure that's cathartic, but ultimately wasteful, and doesn't strike me as a particularly elegant deterrent.

Consentual rape.
Electronic porn.
Succulent sex activity.

This is what have happened.

You just went from wanting to fuck her tits to wanting to lock her up in the madhouse

I've got issues with my old man, but they never manifested with me formulating a cost-per-minute on rectal footage.

I get that cum is delicious and nutritious but come on man. Seems awfully gay if I do say so myself.

If black women could fly they would also poop on statues.

There is a secret initiation right that every black woman does upon reaching maturity. This is hidden from non niggers but rest assured, it happens. At the right age, much like a Bar Mitzvah, they are driven to a secret monastery where they all take a vow of loudness.

You don’t have to fly to poop on a statue, I know that first hand.

That or im overthinking it like a tard myself. But the shockingly non violent sort.

I really hope that this guy is representative of the average Tanzanian.

Does she want the underwear to match all the scars on her legs?

What's your favorite type of cheese?
Is forced sterilization of manlets morally wrong

you've been assimilating musky european cheese behavior for quite a while now

why are all the lolcows with autism named Chris?

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Oh! Look at Mr. Money Bags over here begging mommy & daddy "Please help me beat the vidya gibs me more mammy!" Just putting in those shekels, pay 2 win, shekel to win.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

He is one of the VERY few cows I have ever known about who I would personally pay for bad things to happen to, I don't just mean a kicking I mean I'd pay for someone to paint every inch of his skin with the full works of shakespear onto his skin with hydrochloric acid, and for a surgical team to isolate his nerves and then run random jolts of electricity along them and implant bone conduction microphones into his skull and play every single Yoko Ono song into his head non stop - and even then I am always open to critique, because I'll be also paying for a medical team to keep him alive for as long as humanly possible.

 

[CobraPlissken]

(Source)

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

Right wing, left wing, fat does not discriminate.

Needs more drunk mice.

 

[Tablet County]

He looked like a dockworker wearing his wife's clothes, with hands resembling Christmas hams.

do i have to list every homosexual act

I’m ordinarily of the opinion that people should be allowed to eat what they like, but these kinds of people make me wonder if they’ve even experienced the culinary apex that is Sonic Drive-In.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

I do not shit myself, I have had jobs, I can be stupid but not smart on occasion, and yes I am arrogant at times. But honestly it’s only because this website can be too.

 

[Tablet County]

Meeting like-minded people is not possible, I am THAT special and unique.
Everyone is either too retarded or too woke. Except me of course.
Women and Jews are mostly to blame.

God isn't punishing you. You chose to watch Clerks 3

It's like a Nazi caricature of a "drooling mongrel we shouldn't spend a single Reichmark on keeping alive".

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Vegans don't love animals, they just hate themselves.

If your asshole is halfway torn up and you teetering at the point of medical intervention because of a backed up colon, I really think you have bigger issues than what washing your hands for 30 seconds can’t fix.

Just saying.

There is an I in team. It's hidden in the A hole.

when you stare into the lolcow long enough, the lolcow stares back at you

Oh god I can see it now the goblin halfway through a sperg out or random rant and you just see his anime avatar start digging in its ass and then smelling it's fingers. The thought is simultaneously hilarious and revolting.

Reading is for faggots.

Also use some proper punctuation and capitalization you gorilla nigger sped.

getting rusty, old man

 

[Meat Target]

Bearded hipsters, break-ups and shotguns are a deadly combo.

I feel there must be a way to get a mention of the 8 man interracial piss gangbang in there.

 

[Judas Connor Moon]

A man offering to snort bugs has nothing to live for, no future and no reason to lie.

 

[Tablet County]

>i've seen no proof
>i believe it anyway

great thread

 

[Jones McCann]

Next thing you know youll be having voice chats leak of you asking a dude for outlines, you are already halfway there with Andy!