random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

I dont really want to live in an America where you cant just pace around your room mumbling to yourself and then just scream at like 180 decibels, "FAGGOTS!!!!!!"

 

[Asian tech support]

Get off this freaking forum before me and my team of Politicans find you and put you behind fucking bars; I swear to God if I find you, I'll beat you up and on top of that you'll be beaten in a fucking prison cell during interrogation.

 

[Tablet County]

I'm drawn to these BPD chicks like white on rice. I can't help myself. I'm a masochist. I hate my dick.

Must be hell. Half of you wants to obliterate yourself on vodka, the other half won't pay for it.

Do you think she ever blurted out the wrong name during sex and he went ballistic yelling "KEEP MY CUCKS NAME OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH"?

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

He looks like a sex offending turtle.

He literally looks like a pig that was granted a wish by the Blue Fairy to be a real boy.

When you die, your Funko Pops will be thrown out and God. the Father Almighty, will spit at you.

 

[BlueSpark]

Those are some smug 2015 Sargoy of Akkad pseudo-answers, riddled with logical failures and 90s dude weed bro lunacy

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

Finally, someone else whose mom lurks kiwi

He looks like a sex offending turtle.

The bible will tell you that Eve tempted Adam with an apple, but it was actually a proper Melton Mowbray pork pie wrapped in waxed paper, possibly with a slice of Wensleydale cheese and a pickled egg.

Yessir. We will out gossip catty highschool girls, gay guys at a bar, and even church ladies. We're drama niggers and we're PROUD of that fact.

For a bunch of right wing manly men, you all sure talk about big black cocks and gay rape a lot

There was literally no way to be groomed in ToonTown Online.

Side note, my girl does actually hate BMJ. she never wants to hear about him. "He's depressing. He's a crackhead gambling addict living in filth. He listens to shit music and he looks like he smells like shit. He's annoying and he's pathetic. He will never own a Honda civic."

Cock destroying mum of 4 with a cunt like a burnt out fireplace. Yeah aim high in life

@Shooter of Cum suggested I post a thread about it here.

The farms is not a unified anything.

Now im paranoid one of you fucks jerks it to Kirby or something.

They were talking about how fuckable the Grinch is, then Anisa segways into talking about vore and how she's not into it. Then describes a hypothetical of the Grinch voring Cindy Lou. iDubbbz sits in complete silence

Turns out that only fucking retarded women was a 1000 IQ move.

DO NOT. INSULT. MY. INTERNET DADDY!!!!

 

[KittyGremlin]

The entire world has terminal cancer and Kiwi Farms is the only place you're allowed to talk about it

 

[Pedophobe]

Are we cursed? Or are we blessed to have the opportunity to laugh at such insanity?

 

[Cumeatsioner Gordon]

Capiche?

 

[BirdUp]

My Fetish? Gagged bound and forced into the bedroom by pulling me ear when I swing the front door open coming home from my 8hr shift, With a touch of humiliation maybe an embarrassing arrangement that lead to the dragging to the room in front of her friends?

 

[Mad_Dog]

Can't make rent, better drink my own piss.

 

[Gentlebastard]

He did this to himself. All of it. He deserves no compassion. Embrace the schadenfreude. Revel in it. Let it flow through you.

I always jump on social media when a unhinged cuck shoots my girlfriend with a shotgun

I feel there must be a way to get a mention of the 8 man interracial piss gangbang in there.

You're a dickless nutcase, but you can at least TRY to get on the path of self improvement.

In an active shooter situation, stick with the e-thots and leave the limp wrists to shit themselves.

Don't put your personal shit out there on the internet like this. Your fucking home invasion doesn't need to be on a livestream.

Don't stick your dick in crazy. Don't let crazy stick its dick in you.

I have no idea who this faggot is but he seems like a complete retard.

Getting involved with a woman who recently left a psycho manlet ex of 11 years is just straight up natural selection.

Exactly how fat do you reckon he has to get before he becomes jolly?

He was before he hit the integer overflow

Koreans are not biologically attuned to kimchi

I was telling this story to a friend and she said "Well, people used to do a lot of stupid stuff back in the day." and I said "This happened last year...."

while I could have the book transferred to my local library, I really don't want the nice old lady running it to see me reading homoerotic nigger cannibalism texts

Pat's being sane for once? Somebody fix him, he's broken. I want my lolcow back.

Did this asshole really just imply that I have no access to turkey?

The ‘male kiwis not sperging about guns in a troon thread’ challenge failed yet again. Very sad. Many such cases, etc.

The ‘male kiwis not sperging about guns in a troon thread’ challenge failed yet again. Very sad. Many such cases, etc.
Perhaps it’s a psychological reaction to all the chopped off dongs, and thus is also the fault of Big Troon.

If you can’t trust four Turkish bros chilling when the weird British lady comes and asks incredibly intimate questions that are largely taboo in the public in their culture, who CAN you trust?!

Yeah my daughters call them "Dad jokes"
I think y'all just don't understand real humor. I think I'm funny as shit.

You know, I love the laughs that this site gives me. But every once in a while it really hits hard when you realize that these people are taken seriously by a huge portion of society rather than universally mocked. I get the most awful feeling of despair and panic for the future.

 

[Dire Dire Cocks]

Okay. You all, I can't handle. Bitches, Bye!

No, I'm not a pedophile. Fuck this forum, Rabbit was right, This fucking forum is filled with Nazis.

All you fucking doxbiners and kiwifarmers are no different. Y'all are the same. Fuck this! I'm soon getting the fuck outta here, I just don't want this to go to lolcows or my whole lifes fucked. Fuck you Pavel, for this shit.

Fuck off lol, all I just hope is that this post doesn't make it to lolcows cause I'm gonna cry.

You're an asshole, evil motherfucker, that I've ever seen on the face of this planet. These are my last words to you. Goodbye!

I'm not afraid of you. Good God is with me and idc about this forum or these comments because they're all people who think they know better when they know nothing.

No comment. I invoke the fifth and need a fucking lawyer.

No! I don't identify myself as a pedophile. My pronouns are he/him.

I'm not a stalker nor a child, neither am I a pedo. All of you are filing false reports, I hope that iC3 Report just comes to pass and all you people go under investigation for filing false reports.

All of you guys are just so unfair. This is retarded. All of you people are just so toxic and unjust.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Probably wouldn't be a bad idea to put really long posts under a spoiler.

Spoiler: Long Post

I used to think a couple times a week “I miss those homos”

The site has just been offline on the boring normal internet for faggots, the cool internet for drug dealers and snuff enthusiasts is always happy to host us

He'd have to get off the internet and start to be nice. Impossible at his age.

i laugh at the social misfortune but not the castration

Karl has reinvented the AR-15 to perfecrion and we are just too stupid to understand his satanic genius. If only the DOD would acknowledge and adopt his superior design our trans soliders would be unstoppable. This is worse than that red jacket firearms pedophile putting a cut down Saiga 12 on an AR-15, naming it the master key and pretending it was his orginal idea.

Because those terms are gay as fuck. What sounds cooler "Indigenous" or "Indian"?
When I think Indian I think of some buff Redskin throwing a tomahawk into a guys face.
When I think Indigenous I think of some brown welfare babies trying to fake a holocaust in Canada.

Also he's probably fucking a tranny who was part of the CHOP security team that shot two kids

Dead Boomer Stuff Event Horizon

I want to know the lore behind total Karen death

i can't take it anymore i'm going fucking insane i need to nurse from those green titties

I just don't believe that. And I have no evidence and am probably wrong. But I just don't buy it.

i did not expect such a profound video from a man who wears those kinda glasses

Its like a watered down amalgamation of a New Yorker, American Black, and like vague East African accent merged into one speech impediment.

Edit: Two minutes in and he's showing B Roll of that anime where big tit highschoolers kill zombies. This is his super serious video about the bureaucratic decision to enact genocide.

This shouldn't be taken as "Stalin wasn't that bad" but rather "I am so glad that Youtubers are completely limp-dicked and have no real form of power".

As always, all of the people in this story have yellow teeth.

The problem is a lot of people prefer to be miserable than alone, which is what this thread constantly proves.

he said the war in Gaza made him rethink his sexuality

Internet retards work in mysterious ways.

I like this face, its very goofy.

"the greatest best guilty pleasure so bad it's good game" I fucking hate it when youtubers say that shit, just say the game is average or that you like it despite its flaws

 

[oopsie doodle]

Judge my character all you want but there's no videos of me fingering my asshole and claiming to be a satanist on the internet.

 

[vomitusdeux]

So they're going to make him kiss brown-peoples asses in jail?

Personally I'm happy not being in prison for the rest of my life for making dead baby soup.

I know your the admin of this nazi forum. Add this to lolcows, it'll be good for the skids. He wanted to add me to locows but I think he deserves it more.

well you know what's worse than pedophile

somebody hurting my feelings

Why does his face look like a ball had sex with an egg?

Why on Earth do you still have porn of an 17 year old girl?

I see you got your hacking skills from 90’s action flics.

The porn of the 17 year old girl is so that police can access it.

Ah yes, I too hack the planet, my fellow Cyber Criminal

My sister had a friend named Tiffany. One night when she was staying over, we came to an agreement where she would show me her boobs in exchange for me showing her my penis. That Tiffany was pretty cool.

You might want to take some reading comprehension lessons. It might help you getting less retarded.

You are a pitch black apeoid nigger in the dead of the fucking night. You're a black hole of niggatry, from which no intellect can escape.

Is the CEO in the room with us right now?

This is the same person who has willingly eaten his own shit as well as covered himself in shit and send videos/pictures of it to people in doxbin.

I feel like I'm watching the local psych ward putting on a one man improv show.

This is the worst thread I've ever seen and I'm going to go watch some emo nip kid jerk off over an unconscious girl so that I can purge the memory of this incident from my mind.

I was a verified star on xHamster as well (With my ID Yes). The reason I put my profession there is because I needed people to know who I am.

ah yes. just in case if any potential customers need system administrators, i'll be sure to show them the numerous videos of me fingering my asshole while jerking off

That's true. And fingering one's butthole is most certainly an action.

Yes. You are heartless, and yes, I am judging your character.

Show me a medical record proving I'm a pedo or information from court about past conviction or you're lying.

You know why people on CoD hate black people? Imagine a game where you can't talk to others, unless that person has a headset with a microphone and has it turned on. Now imagine said person, instead of using it to be a team player and call shit out or something; just blasts their shitty fucking mumble rap and other shit through it to everyone else, and when you politely ask them to turn it down or off, they give you the "fuck you nigga." Is this all black people on CoD, no; but that's probably because most of them don't turn their mics on (if they even have them); while the majority who do turn their shit on, use it to live their dream of being a radio DJ.

I wouldn't fuck her with Null's dick, via remote control. Crazy bint.

I don't want random, possibly aids infected, cooch in my face.

“Dr. Spunk greatly impressed Adolf Hitler with his service to the German State”

 

[Moths]

Too much strudel, you need to poo,
Can't do it here, you're watched by Jews,
Young Adolf, get thee from where the streets are paved,
Down into the designated shitting cave!

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Ass rape or be ass raped is a universal prison experience

 

[Captain Fedophile]

Who wouldn't want to wear underwear with an illustration of a dead fish?

 

[Aunt Carol]

More kids need to be told "suck it up, nobody cares and objective reality exists".