random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Hamplanet Fitness]

Maybe spend your energy finding a way to shit inside the house like people do rather than worry about nonsense like this.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Chomo News Network

If you look at the history of National Socialists, between 1/10 and 1/3 of them were either Jews, gay, degenerates, or questionably white. You'll fit right in.

I want to fuck the hell out of late 90s Carrie Ann Moss but I’d probably only last like 16 seconds. It would be a great time for me.

You know how the saying goes: behind every Jew there is a Swede.

 

[nekrataal]

We get it, you like to talk about people jerking off to dudes.

Just busted one to your PFP. You're welcome.

Send me dick pics. I need to compare them with your dads.

 

[Sealbaby]

"I'm asexual so I don't really have a libido" says the 13 year old.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Well, I know which grandma I'm not biting

 

[Meat Target]

shut up before i bang your head against the wall

nerd

tl;dr: OP is a faggot

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Cats are vile bundles of shit and piss that they're capable of spraying staggering distances without reason. They obliterate entire ecosystems and breed ridiculously fast to out-compete everything else.

Kill.
Them.
All.

THE CAT IS GOOD, THE PENIS IS EVIL.

CRAAAAAWWLLLIIIING IIIN MY SKIIIIIN

Blessed are the aspies, for they shall inherit the earth.

There was never any doubts it was gonna suck ass.

Imagine setting up a Star Wars Experience and not having the lady in the promo being a scantily dressed Tw'ilek.

Fucking Clowns.

Grandma was always pushing sweets. Want some cake? Want some pie? Want some hard candy? Want a candy bar? Then when you said yes, she'd say "You don't need it."

Grandpa, on the other hand, was the kind of man to talk about how Lincoln freeing the niggers was the worst thing to happen in this country.

I definitely preferred grandpa.

Do not take life advice from this thread.

 

[Meat Target]

i shoved the barrel of my sks up my ass once. it was fun

You can sure tell a lot about a person's level of sanity by their haircut these days.

 

[Blackhole]

Fyi: deleted 20 posts responding to a homosexual trying to get attention for homosexual behavior.

I hate germans more than I hate niggers. You are subhuman hunnic mud-niggers and every successive wave of germanic mud-niggers has wrought destruction and chaos upon Europe since time immemorial. Fuck you you gothoid nigger-ape I hope a stinky semitic berber immigrant dirtybombs berlin and you get fucking super-aids from radiation poisoning inshallah.

I AM NOT AN ABOMINATION, I HAVE AUTISM

white person: i don't hate myself
black person: nooooooo *thanos snapped out of existance*

black fragility folks

Black coffee tastes like fucking shit and it gives me heartburn fuck you I want caffeine not cultural enrichment of my bowels

I like my coffee like I like my women.

I don't like coffee.

 

[Mal0]

I half suspect all it would take to topple these spineless fucks is an autist in an SS uniform using a super soaker as a weapon.

 

[Aunt Carol]

It's Lou and he probably can't even find his penis, much less stick it in the cat.

(edited for length)

 

[Hitman One]

Kevin and Wedge are going to build a sissy hypno room in Animal Crossing

not even the sweet release of death could allow you to escape from the wrath of Clown World.

He should just be happy that he didn't end up with an omega-class UTI and leave it alone.

Kevin is a garbage gyre.

 

[SevenEightNine]

From @ZipDisk

One resonance cascade failure and there goes the neighborhood.

 

[Law]

After nearly a year and a half on Roll20, I've realized how socially functional I am compared to other people.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Lou's love of spaghetti trumps all, including his hatred of capitalism.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

"Coom, Groom, Consoom" — those three hallowed words reverently dictate what you ought to be, what you can be, what you will be. They are your rallying point to build validation when validation seems to fail, to regain gender euphoria when there seems to be little cause for gender euphoria, to create hope when the noose beckons... In my dreams I hear again the squelching of dilators, the buzzing of Hitachi Wands, the strange, mournful mutter of VRChat ERP. But in the evening of my memory always I come back to Twitter. Always there echoes and re-echoes: Coom, Groom, Consoom. Today marks my final roll call with you. But I want you to know that when I cross the river, my last conscious thoughts will be of the Korps, and the Korps, and the Korps. I bid you farewell.

 

[Hitman One]

I would also not mind an invasion by alphaca aliens from outer space.

 

[Something Awful]

"Further biological understanding will tell you that being trans is a very normal occurance in nature and is scientifically supported. Stop denying science."

 

[Big Nasty]

Ian looks like Magnum PI with AIDS

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I have never heard of any of these Games or Awards. You might as well write "Biggest Pumpkin of Des Moines 2003" into your Bio.

I now want to play Fluttershy themed Necrons, despite knowing absolutely nothing about actually playing the game.

What you need to do is harness the raw chaos energy of lightning mcqueen and use them as ammo in a custom firearm.