random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[I am vomit]

The picture of baby fem King Dice flashing her panties to the viewer tells me everything I need to know about what gets this guy hard.

America; aborting tea deliveries since day 931 days before birth.

Am I trippin' or is that a trumpet beside the "bathtub"?

No, that looks like a trumpet. What the actual fuck

You don't have a shower trumpet?

I'm thoroughly impressed and disgusted. They rebuilt him into the ultimate Freemason raping machine.

 

[Sprate Header]

Hola I speak reddit, ima cheat code my chungus level up.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

less makey threats
more takey meds

 

[Meiwaku]

He called himself a genius for remembering a graph from a book he read 8 years ago, while mixing up the X and Y axis.

 

[Meat Target]

In this version of the Emperor's New Clothes, the heckler is a 'tard.

 

[JustSomeDong]

I'm actually bothered that people like you listen to my podcast.

 

[Geranium]

they actually look like they are having a fun day.
A fun day doesn't include trying to fuck a badly healing stench hole in a wooden-faced bastards crotch behind a dumpster.

 

[Aunt Carol]

nigga hook me up with that fuckin merrrrrrrrch

 

[Just A Butt]

Walking on Jim's driveway felt like being Neil Armstrong on the moon, It felt like our generation's moon landing.

 

[Coelacanth]

As much as I'm going to regret saying this, a horse penis eased up the butt won't kill you.

To be fair the human anus can fit about two raccoons.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

Who of us here doesn’t have toilet mustard?

 

[ScooterL]

It's a plausible explanation for all that penis up his ass.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Degloving would be fun

Now I’m sure if you go to furry subs you can see people talking about their hot werewolf boyfriend fucking them, but everyone knows that’s not real.

Can we be sure that this doc isn’t a shitlord/masterclass troll who leaves that V the sane way that Zorro left a Z on his enemies?

Where’s that photo of the teddy bears made out of chicken? Same energy, bro king dude man.

"Everything is great and I have no complaints. Except for my cold cramped sore dick if I stand up for too long.

thats a very cute name for something very awful

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

When I was a child sitting in my room playing Final fantasy 2, if you were to tell me the franchise that had "guy speak beaver" would end up becoming an MMO with an ERP strip club, I'd have a god damn seizure.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

You either die a hero, or live long enough to choke a bitch.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Too 'racist' to cut it in New York, too much of a faggot to jive in the midwest. Tough breaks.

 

[Table Country]

Yes, it's possible for certain biological functions to fuck up and produce horrible, disgusting, usually sterile mutants who fall outside the normal boundaries of "male XY sperm producers" and "female XX womb and egg machines"; these individuals are sometimes known as intersex or abominations or @Miss Tommie Jayne Wasserberg.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Actually, I keep pictures of all the angles Ralph's penis has appeared on the tape just so that missinformation, good sir, can be put to rest.

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

"Safe, legal, and rare" has been replaced by "STICK AN EGGBEATER IN MY BOX OHHH YESSSS HAIL MOLOCH!"

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

If boobs are what make a woman then 60% of American men are women... Because they're FAT!