random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[ScooterL]

No we're not a cult, you're a cult!

 

[Aunt Carol]

sidenote, wow so many peoples 'normal' bodies are really not great.

 

[Table Country]

Being Black and being a Black Person of Color who is Black, breathing while Black is very important to my Black heritage of being Black, especially being Black around those damn white folk.

> Doom Community
> Overrun by Neoprogressives
> People who were old enough to be there for Columbine scapegoating the game
> And should know better
> Arguing that we need to protect people's delicate sensibilities
> Offended by content in a mod
> Fuck this, I'm going to play me some Blake Stone

Ralph's Law: Any insult from Ethan Ralph is actually a confession to doing something even worse.

Trying to act like an internet chad on kiwifarms is like trying to be the coolest kid in sped class.

♪ Get out you're fat and trans, you've got the hairline of a man. ♪

Liz has bigger balls than Ethan Ralph despite cutting them off.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

So many salami sandwiches. Probably like 50 in the past month.

 

[Big Nasty]

If Jerry Seinfeld was a KF poster:

And why do so many people want to share pictures of their asshole on social media? I just don't get it.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

So many salami sandwiches. Probably like 50 in the past month.

 

[Florch]

Pssssht, speak for yourself. I mean, maybe in a frenzied attack, but a methodical stabbing shouldn't present any issues.

 

[demicolon]

ISPs need not fear defamation suits from wackos who think they should be held responsible for things their users say

 

[Meat Target]

There's nothing wrong with the denizens of the Kiwi Farms that a case of the black death wouldn't cure.

 

[Local Fed]

Some background, I was raised in a liberal democrat household but was also a gamer, when I was in my early teens I was a woke sjw to the point I was basically male Lisa Simpson.

What is interesting is that he wrote a song called "Want Cub Porn" to the tune of the credits music of Portal 2.

Don't want to derail the thread, but I implore you to rethink your life.

As soon as I saw someone mentioned ducks I knew you'd be here soon. It's like you have a 6th sense when ever someone mentions the duck-rape statistics.

This is not a fucking anime thread. You people are such fucking cancer.

"Noooo you cant like Cleopatra! She owned slaves!" - this is how you sound when you say someone cant think Hitler is cool because he owned a couple gas chambers.

One page into a discussion on annoying irony in movies and we're already at the final solution.

 

[as a latinx i]

from the neogaf thread:

I want to burn this wretched world down seeing the number 1 on this list, and everyone playing this game will be my enemy, and I hope everyone one of you who plays the fucking Harry Potter game burn your hand into incapacitation, ban me if you want

 

[Meat Target]

You're both faggots. Him for being a faggot and you for being an asshurt faggot.

 

[Piss Bear]

3. Standing to pee in the bathroom and knowing my parents could 100% hear the pee noise through the floor and door with how loud it is hitting the bowl and there not being any weirdness or comments around it. Growing up I was told I couldn’t practice with my STP int the house because it was too loud and would be weird to explain if people were over or showed up- it’s such a distinct sound and just echos through the house with the acoustics. So no comments to me was a sign of acceptance of me standing to pee as normal now. Which feels really good. ​

 

[Cats]

 

[Penis Drager 2.0]

@Involuntary Celebrity

 

[Involuntary Celebrity]

Ignore the naysayers, I was completely satisfied

 

[Return of the Freaker]

...why am I not surprised you created this thread, Bruno? Because almost half of these were on movie nights...

...also: there's a lack of Bigfoot movies in this list...

though I suppose the sex could have been consensual. Bigfoot is pretty chad.

I saw a decent bigfoot movie that ended with implied rape and man-eating, but I can't remember the name of it and searching for "bigfoot rape movie" has been both completely unproductive and far too productive.

This is the kind of quality Kiwi Farms content that you just can't find anywhere else.

You also get to see Deanna Troi's boobas during an additional shorter rape scene.

I dunno, but I find it based.

 

[Table Country]

Patrick sounds like a man who could suck the estrogen out of a trannies amhole.

And always remember it was never about ethics in game's journalism

The phrase "unexpected genitals" came up on a thread, someone said it would make a good username

what do you think this guy thinks about saving the west? i bet he thinks it's way past cool

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

If I was interested in spending a lot of time learning about other countries I'd be able to find Germany on a map by now.

Funny enough, the first Wreck-It-Ralph movie was the best movie to watch on Christmas. I don’t even remember much about the second one.

My usual "fuck off" must be amended in this instance to add "and die ... comrade."

I'm willing to bet one of the next words that gets 1984'd is cargo cult because that's exactly what this is.

Quick! Before the trannies strike again!

HAHAHAHAHAHA GET FUCKED DAVID, YOU'LL BE MADE TO SHARE THE SAME FATE AS THE SUPERIOR SHEEP-COUNTING GIRL YOU AND YOUR FAGGOTY ASS UNICORNS OH-SO-CRUELLY TOPPLED. THIS IS TRULY A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

Update: the sub has been restricted, and appeals for a moderator are being ignored.

wearing a vr headset during actual sex is somehow even more depraved and absurd than just using it to watch ultra high definition porn while jerking off

I'm not sure what is more hilarious; that Paul has admitted that Kiwifarms is right or that he's pretending his meth smoking blind robot bird girlfriend could have been a troon trauma counselor to confused men in dresses.

don't you realize that hate is the universal language of love, as practiced by every culture around the world? It's what we all share in common.

Do you think it's a law that any woman over a certain bmi will get a nose ring?

I don't even live there and I'm getting blackpilled.

I'm more waiting for the next election, where the media blows up police shooting some Tyrone von Jamalson who was out on parole after raping (most of) his nieces and currently suspected of raping his nephew, and the nephew's cat, an overall burden on his family and community who ideally should have died instead of just being wounded.

I am ugly and I want kids (can relate on nobody I know wanting any), perhaps try dating an uglyish woman?

Me putting down a stage-7 dementia patient is "technically" not murder, because the "person" already died.

Stop being a thin skinned pussy white knighting some fucking retard on the internet that will never fuck you.

What the fuck does any of that mean?

What is so arousing about a poorly drawn ms paint character screaming "no" at another cartoon character?

not everything is a fetish, it's just spergs being spergs if ya ask me

This idiot should be walled up a la “Cask of Amontillado” before he goes Elliot Rodger on somebody.

That is the face of a man that does not and will not ever have a modicum of wisdom.

 

[speedweed]

Also I should write something I guess so Mr. Tate you ask me what color my Bugatti is I’ll answer that with another question what color is your dad