random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[3MMA]

She was there, watching a movie I never watched before. "What you're watching?", I asked nervously. "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo." She was so educated, cultured. I could never compete... no women could.

---

ETA:

I WILL BE US

 

[Idiot Asshole]

too many moob pics. My eyes cry. Please stop with the moobs pics. I beg you.

 

[Meiwaku]

(Warning: Jail has been mentioned on a website that is mostly Americans.)

- Null

Surprisingly the woman who fucks a lifesized Squidward plushie is the most normal person on that sub.

So why is having a waifu bad and "autistic" or "schizo" or whatever you shitbrains say here?

There's fucking nothing wrong with being a waifuist. FUCK THIS WEBSITE. I FINALLY FUCKING MADE THIS ACCOUNT JUST TO SAY IT

your family must be proud to see you being homophobic, and racist on here!

I need a race scientist in here stat to tell me what trisha was before she became a chosen person.

Banning all cars in the far off future could be possible, but hopefully all countries collapse and never recover, then we could restart shit properly like having proper public transport without subcreatures (niggers, jews, etc).

Hello lurking "women". Nigger.

Now onto you lovely bitches. I've petted so many damn cats its unreal. One of the little scamps wanted to climb me. Thought he was a shoulder cat so I leaned forward to offer the shoulder, only for him to look at me like I was an abject retard and climb my chest. I guess chest cats are a thing, or he really approved of my band shirt.

Please just go on my lap or shoulder next time though.

I think that trannies were created by Satan's autistic son.

You know the old saying, “when life gives you 30-50 corpses, make fertilizer “

The dead are the lucky ones, for them the Tranch is over.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Unconditionally France. Not because they don't have good dishes, but because they are the sodomites of the culinary world.

Woe to you, O daughter of Zion, that has provoked the ire of the paprika-feasters.

I hope Tim gets a BIG BUCK CELLMATE with a HUGE NIGGER COCK who constantly makes smelly tuna sandwiches from commisary food, leaves the tins out to stink up the cell, plays loud music on his radio, and doesn't flush the toilet after taking a shit.

 

[Angry New Ager]

I can't unmountain dew what’s already been mountain done.

 

[PhoBingas]

So the Machine Elves are supposedly racist because they've historically hung out with Latinos. Despite this, they were initially welcoming to this black guy, but on subsequent visits were extremely hostile and racist. We also only have the black guy's word that the first trip was good. I have a sneaking suspicion he tried to pull some nigger bs with them, and the Elves reaction was "Fuck! Hector was right about niggers!". I think we need to hear the Machine Elves' side of the story is what I'm saying.

 

[WolfeTone]

 

[Aunt Carol]

“I’ll have the small labia with a big clitoris and a little uwu fuckhole please!”

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Progressives worship blacks more aggressively and with more reverence than I've ever seen a Christian worship Jesus.

 

[neverendingmidi]

All these new terms is like rebranding pedophile to MAP. There's already terms for transmaxx, it's called the faggot eunuch.

See, it's not hard.

"I don’t know why I should’ve been reluctant to discuss my penis with Pa, or all the gentlemen present. My penis was a matter of public record, and indeed some public curiosity."

The second is another quote from Prince Harry's book.

 

[LurkTrawl]

Very nice 6/10 just zip her inside of a large (very long) full-body magenta sock with two holes cut out of the chest and you've got yourself a great motorboat.

 

[Arianne Chan]

"This place would be cool if there wasn’t so many reactionaries and wignats. Kind of like a Reddit 4chan hybrid."

By @Chaser663

 

[.T.N.U.C]

He prayed to his moms hair during a rough pregnancy moment

 

[Sprate Header]

I made an audiobook of her rape fantasies.

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

Also, everyone posting autistic under my posts, well yah got me : I have Aspergers Syndrome. So yeah, I'm kinda retarded.

Discuss the Yeast Beast or begone, Maddie.

This is like the horror movie trope "Your weird uncle's will leaves this mansion to you, but to claim it you must live there for an entire weekend". Except it's not a mansion nor a single weekend, and instead of ghosts or monsters you're dodging anthrax, troons and swattings.

Man who writes fan fiction erotic stories featuring a child monkey called Tiny Kong rails against Christian morality.

*BING*
*BING*
*WAHOO*

Also, who the fuck tagged this thread with "die null"? Fuck out of here with that.

Needless to say, I was very confused to wake up one day and see my account banned with the only reason given as "pedophile."

This is now a gay interracial erotica thread

Literally nobody ever wanted to hear about Ten Degrees of Kevin Bacon between your dead mom's lips and your frostbite dick.

Meg, Meghan, my wife: mentioned 466 times
Mum, mother, mummy: mentioned 347 times
William, Willy, brother: mentioned 408 times
Pa, dad, father: mentioned 398 times
Queen, grandma, grandmother, granny: mentioned 254 times

penis, todger, cock: mentioned 16 times

"I don’t know why I should’ve been reluctant to discuss my penis with Pa, or all the gentlemen present. My penis was a matter of public record, and indeed some public curiosity."

From the ONA trolls' completely original Christmas Carol sequel.

 

[Vott]

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

The weirdest aspect of those comments is the notion that anyone would be attracted to Jenny, a woman who looks like a child with fetal alcohol syndrome.

Mate she is not going to touch your penis no matter how many paragraphs do you write

It will never stop being funny seeing pedants prop themselves up as genius-level intellects because they have the superpower of nitpicking irrelevant shit and missing the forest for the trees.

Jesus. I don't think I've ever seen someone misunderstand philosophical debate, hyperbole, and Batman in the same sentence before.

if I have to listen to one more person telling me the flash/green arrow/batwoman/whatthefuckelse CW superhero show is good one more time, I will neck myself.

Go back to your special ed and complain about how Loud House shipping is bad

This is simultaneously one of the most informative and well-written threads on the site and one of the most depressing.

That thing looks like a canine Jeff the Killer.

The sight of YouTube's Made for Kids update gives me such PTSD. Fucking horrible update. It feels so wrong.

are they trying to infect kids with the shapetales autism virus?

I got my butthole pilfered by a stranger online, better inject chemicals into my ballsack to become a woman.

That roll out of the hole was cool as fuck and because of it I support Russia until I see Ukraine do something cooler.

 

[Hitman One]

I now pronounce you Pig and Horse. You may now gunt the bride.

 

[Mr Moonface]

"I was made honor roll" - Patrick '1.2 GPA' Tomlinson

 

[Sarcastic sockpuppet]

The only thing this book makes me sympathetic to are the americans who dumped all that good tea into the harbor.