random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Punished Neco]

"They were fighting for their lives to keep their orangutan prostitute"

From the Whang! video about an orangutan prostitute that was rescued from an Indonesian village in 2003.

 

[Cloacan]

Said ham will also be a taste sensation should you put your mouth on it, and unlike previous ex-partners of mutilees on here, you won’t require Valium to dissociate through the nausea induced by this task

 

[rubytintedchix]

“What is a chaffle? I had to look it up! _sissy giggle_ I'm like, what's a chaffle? Everybody keeps showing chaffles! And they look like waffles, but they're chaffles! So, I looked it up and they're cheese -- uh, cheese waffles. So it's waffles made out of kinda like a cheese batter or cheese mixture. Uh, it's gonna have a few ingredients. And then you put it in a little, a little mini waffle maker, and, THESE are like the, the latest thing. Chaffles, you can make Oreo Cookie chaffles, you can make breakfast sandwich chaffles, you can make, uh, McGriddle chaffles. It goes on and on.”

—Jack Scalfani

"And, uh, I really appreciate the he's the son of a dear friend of mine, so, uh, we're gonna be sending this whole dinner freeze-dried which is safe t-to ship it after that. To him. Over in the army wherever he's stationed so that it - I think it's his first. It is! I know for fact it is his first thanksgiving away from home. So we wanna make sure he eats right for the hoe-liday."

—Also Jack Scalfani

 

[Meat Target]

I'M NOT YELLING, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S YELLING!!!!!!!!!!

 

[rubytintedchix]

“Let capture the feelings of today and be THANKFUL the other 364 days of the year.”

—Jack Scalfani

(Sorry to trauma dump these all at once)

 

[ditto]

Unfortunately, we've now taken a turn for the bovine.

 

[Aunt Carol]

So, not Jewish today?

Jewish machine broke. Come back later.

 

[ロボ﹏§¤r﹏h¶rœ]

"Alright guyz the website is hosted over starlink by servers running on automatous droneships contracted out through middle eastern countries hostile to the idea of LGBTQ most of which have death penalty for it. Furthermore there is 300 redundant backup servers on land high in the mountains spread across some of the most remote locations on earth. We have already tracked down FOUR of the backup servers and have pending lawsuits against the land owners. Any day now the website will be gone forever!"

 

[Blackhole]

“The kiwis outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

True, plus Chris never got cucked by a nigger farting into the barbussy.

Eugenia Trooney

I don't need a big gross man's cock in my mouth to know I probably wouldn't enjoy it. Do you?

he on that grind

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

 

[AMHOLIO]

Well you should at least get your money back from the therapist because you appear to still be insane.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Will this have even more fart fetish things like the preschool version?

I have to agree with pickle Rick.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

The Mel Gibson punishment where the pink haired tranny gets raped by a pack of Niggers.

 

[Epic Fail Man]

The reason I hate Barry Manilow is my mom.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

There are no Russian speakers in Ukraine, soon the Russian language will be spoken only in hell.

 

[Aunt Carol]

i once sold a piece of furniture to some women on a local selling site, who appeared to be lesbians.
Once they inspected & decided to make the purchase, they phoned another lesbian who they recalled lived near by to mine, who immediately appeared with a van, to help them move it, accompanied by an extra lesbian, perhaps just to oversee matters.
I was impressed by their avaialbility and efficacy for such tasks.

 

[Meat Target]

You couldn't concoct a better humiliation ritual than to have a bunch of right wingers fawning over this monkey minstrel show

 

[Polentic]

If cope was made out of rain, the past few days would look like the deluge of Noah

 

[ロボ﹏§¤r﹏h¶rœ]

The fact that men in dresses would want me dead, because I want to shit post on a fucking website, and talk about dumb shit.

 

[NoReturn]

"It is you, my old foe, the consequences of my own actions!" - Humanity