random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Procrastinhater]

I’ve never seen a more textbook transparent case of AGP.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Look, where the hell else can I talk with other pseudo-autists about the foundational mechanics of tomboys?

Reddit?

Somehow, I don't think autistically screeching REEEEEEE NORMIES GET OUT is a really good marketing campaign.

 

[Stabmaster Arson II]

Good lord, that child looks spedtacular.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Kiwifarms is better than 4Chan in that while it is equally hateful, it is at least coherent and doesn’t come across as pure schizophrenic rantings.

I always clean my guns while loaded and pointed at me, a loved one, or especially a minority. Come at me.

Why dont you go consume more merch and try and stay relevant you fucking pussy.

Our provinces are either; a) too fucking expensive to exist in, b) empty farm land towns filled with people that are right leaning, c) french and extremely racist, d) Newfoundland where your existence is the joke.

Canada isn't some super liberal haven, we just have nice healthcare/social services

Yall ever wanna make your ears bleed from a nigger that dont know how to rap and cant keep the rythm and with super simple rhyme schemes.

If you think that's what qualifies as fapfiction horror, don't even glance at the Fluffies thread.

He also can’t fuck his wife and instead plays with legos…

We in the penguin community roundly condemn this kind of behavior.

I accidentally bought vegan macaroni and cheese once. It tasted like depression.

I'm betting his Alzheimer's is due to being vegan, either him fucking his body up or divine punishment.

Did Walt Disney come to their front door, shove a gun in their mouth, and force them to go?

I feel bad for the guy that Alzheimer's article is actually about. His story is now being used to make fun of a guy who doesn't have an excuse for being dumb. It's pretty funny, though.

Haven't paid attention to this guy in awhile. Looks like hes still oscillating between shooting guns, grenades,, mines, artillery, tanks etc., and handing out bread to elderly people. In one of his recent videos he goes over different ways people can clear mines from in front of their house or street.

Its Peach-chu, the electric spanking pokemon.

How did the spud pull a little hottie like that? Old news, but damn she must have some significant mental health issues.

Is it fed posting when you say that killing the government will save tens of thousands of people from starvation?

Oh, that's not too bad. Cultural practices and whatnot. I was hoping for degenerate shit.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

For a long time, ISIS was just allowed to act completely openly, while people were being banned for misgendering some fat pederast in programming socks every two minutes.

 

[Fomo Hoire]

You are a self-pitying and self-obsessed individual who shows no detectable empathy and not a shred of remorse for your actions.

Judge Timothy Spencer

 

[Local Fed]

It’s your fault I have to hook for drugs, mom!

I get that you're a seething BPD-addled genderblob, but that doesn't excuse straight up illiteracy.

This is why people don't take me seriously when I express to them that I would love nothing more than the destruction of the French nation and it's people.

Let's imagine a hypothetical person called "Boiled Alabama" who holds at least some principles and was at 1/6 for earnest reasons.

 

[Blackhole]

@Dyn raped me behind an Arby's in 1997 but I forgave him because his rape sweater was covered in cat hair.

A man will take risks to get those curly fries.

i think i should be free to nail your hands and feet to the fucking cross you censorious cuckold

If Nick Fuentes getting his retarded "dating women is gay" speech broadcasted and mocked on national television by Jimmy fucking Kimmel doesn't make him lolcow of the year, I don't know what does.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

CUM HAM

I will leave the ham based specifics up to you adventurous few, Semper Fi.

Rape and death for some, little flags for others.

I've always felt, since birth, really, that i have at least four nuts, and possibly six.
I am ecstatic that medical science will finally allow me to be who I truly am, a man with six to eight, possibly 12 nuts. I am calling my surgeon immediately.

I didn't ASK to be born a man with say, oh, somewhere around 48 nuts installed... but, it's who I am.
Fortunately, the state realizes that I am a victim, and my true self genitals must be accommodated by society, for I am due equal rights.
1. State-designed and assigned (free of cost for me, the victim) scooter that can accommodate my genitalia, which may need to expand should my true self pupate into further selves, which, in all likelihood, will have further nuts.
2. Toilets everywhere must be designed to accommodate my disability.
3. Chairs as we know them are over. Those with my my affliction have a right to sit anywhere.
4. More chicken nuggies, which are good for nuts.
Obviously, a serious study must be undergone, with many further recommendations. Thank you for supporting me, my preferred pronouns are nut and nuts.

Oh, and to the asshole who posted the fucking cartoon of a guy hopping around on his big balls? Fuck you, that's stochastic terrorism. You, sir, have been reported for mocking me and those like me, who suffer every day with this anti-nutist bullshit. Fuck you and fuck your family.

I try not to go all "this is perverting the natural order of things" too often but...this is perverting the natural order of things.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

what's the UN gonna do?
send an arab to tell me i should respect women?

member when hitler was like ((())) then bam 6 million jews dead

Well that's one way to make saying nigger cool, I guess.

 

[ロボ﹏§¤r﹏h¶rœ]

scene. an empty bedroom at night. the cold, lightless room is illuminated only by the monitor's dim glow. the door creaks open to reveal a man - visible only by silhouette - wrapped in a trench coat, collar pulled high, hat pulled low.

he approaches the computer. within a few clicks he is accessing the known white supremacist fascist deepweb site known as the k*w*f*rms. his fingers roughly strike the keyboard. letter by letter, he types out the dread word; the forbidden curse, the word that destroys merely by the act of its utterance. as the chorus of agonized PoC screams reaches its crescendo, he presses the "POST" button - and with the transmission of a few packets, an atrocity is committed.

suddenly, sirens. the perpetrator hurriedly opens the window and scampers off into the night. a grizzled leutnant bursts into the room, screaming "POLIZEI!", but it is too late. eyes narrowing, he takes in the scene before him, ignoring the sound of the junior officer heaving into a bucket behind him. a breeze from the open window causes its curtains to gently undulate.

his hand tightens around his service weapon. it's going to be a long night.

 

[NoReturn]

*aggressively shaking stall door* do you need a tampon for your barbie pouch?

 

[Aunt Carol]

ANY CHICKEN CAN BE FAJITA CHICKEN WITH THE RIGHT SEASONINGS, you fat turd of a human.

 

[JustSomeDong]

I remember a time when people told me, as a male, that it was my responsibility to call out other men when they were acting like weirdos and creeps. Now they just have to put on a dress and suddenly I'M the bad guy...

 

[Meat Target]

Fresh fish are the ones we're going to rape.

 

[Pissmaster]

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

How does having babies with non WHITE women save the WHITE race?

 

[S.C.U.D.]

 

[The Line]

Meme him until he goes blind then make memes about him being blind.

 

[Pissmaster]

I like fucking crackheads with one tit and I do it at the drop of at the dime and I get the scabies almost every time.