random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[WTBOnlineFather]

As a bomb defusal technician, I would say the N word three times out loud

-- DanGPT

 

[Stormer_1]

Oh god, what has happened to you Thomas? How can you mix up something basic like this? The anatomy of the engine is all wrong, some ugly yellow shading, the whistle is not connected and the size of the wheels is inconsistent. Also, the lamp is the same colour when it is not.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Somewhere, someone is furiously masturbating to this.

We were promised a hundred-strong furry counterprotest. Such a disappointment.

Like The Cancerless Jim Show captures the essence of Mr Metokur, so too could Jack be preserved in aspic, if you will, forever proclaiming food to be gud and juicy

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

It's a Mister Mxyzptlk simulator. You can only banish it back to the 5th dimension if you trick it into saying NIGGER.

 

[Epic Fail Man]

Internet bullying is just like homicide and I hope the cyber police get you!

 

[vomitusdeux]

"Queerphobia" is a brilliant word. We need to stop queerphobia, and its intersections with bitchphobia and niggerphobia.

He did cum inside, then pulled out after he finished. Then we heard the BRAAPPP.

So you farted your cum all over the sheets? Man there's nothing worse than slimy yellowish brown butthole cum.

have you considered not getting fucked in the ass 20 times a day? maybe then you won't have a problem with nasty smelly cum farts anymore

 

[Aunt Carol]

You're not a small bean, you're a grown man.

 

[Table Country]

When people asked the trannies to read another book, they said no.

Now the trannies are telling people to play another game and the people are saying no.

Josh himself said on stream sometimes he has problems with erections. That was one of the major things that convinced me he’s actually a good person

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Isnt it illegal in the US for retards to fuck?

You know things are fucked up when the guy that wants to raw-dog Hilary Clinton is scared.

 

[Table Country]

God is good and I am evil. I do not belong in his kingdom

Reddit transphobia

I had a dream that a pitbull attacked me while I took the trash to the curb. Then I got trapped in a freaky attic guarded by vicious goblins.

I didn't bother reading past the subject line as I was too busy trying to retrive my sides over the thought that somewhere, on some forum on the internet, there's a user named "Minor loving Penis Cutter Nazi".

All those hours were lost in time, like meth in carpet

After reading through this thread.

I am full of negative energy and do not wish for a better world.

And finally, I'd like to propose a new slogan for Kiwi Farms:

More reliable than family, less annoying than coworkers.

 

[Blackhole]

oh no, not the nigger-word

I mean I have plenty of self-insert monster of the week smut but that doesn't mean I'm going to go posting it on Kiwifarms.

Becoming a women requires losing the ability to drive and staying in the kitchen but you get to be a sex object. This is an entirely healthy view of women and in no way indicates a deviant fetish.

Maker's Mark, it's what plants crave.

 

[vomitusdeux]

If you have a successful TV show you should be allowed to beat your girlfriend as much as you want, imho

You probably sip some pinot nigore

I like that beating the shit out of your girlfriend and calling Dolly Parton a bimbo on social media have the exact same consequences over at the Cartoon Network.

 

[Ken Barlow]

I just come here to say nigger

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Not to mention I know I'm a fucking idiot, all you're doing is reminding me.

Let's pour one out to the Dewey Decimal classification.

British trans pass for the same reason black trans pass

Basically if you want to do something then don't fuck around on Gab telling people about your plans to blow up the toilet down at the Sizzler. Just chow down on a gas station mcrib and clog the loo one day when nobody expects it.

You're never too old to laugh at a clown

Their previous leaders haven't gone down as well as, specifically, a Taco Bell buffet.

milk truk never arrive

Good to know you can dead name as long as they are a suspected cannibal.

You're basically showing off that the monastery some quack constructed between your legs where a healthy vagina use to be now has something that doesn't work properly.

Look, genius, God gave your sister an asshole for a reason.

I always encourage people who want to be good allies and anti racists, to enroll their children in an urban school, preferably majority black.

It’s a surefire way to ensure that their kids will based as f and hate niggers with a passion.

 

[I'm Retarded?]

 

[Aunt Carol]

[Kiwi Farms], an autistic message board for the confusing segment of society that contains a mix of Trump voters and old lesbians.

 

[Meat Target]

Subject line: CLICK NOW TO FIND YOUNG, CONFUSED TEENS ON DISCORD NEAR YOU!

Ninety-six approximate hours to identify an breach and craft a response to make a user base aware is fucking atrocious, especially for a site not run by one doughy misanthrope living in an Eastern European hellhole.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

for someone who plays videogames for a living, you'd expect her to know what an action game is, and that there's more to being an RPG than melee combat and the ability to wear three different pairs of pants.

Kevin really is that little creep who wants you to sniff his finger then the girl runs home from the park crying then two hours later her brother comes down and punches him then he runs home from the park crying.
The circle of 14 year old life.

Like, the songs go from "I'm going to hit you, and you'll have little cartoon hearts around your head." to literally "I'll piss on your corpse."

I always encourage people who want to be good allies and anti racists, to enroll their children in an urban school, preferably majority black.

It’s a surefire way to ensure that their kids will based as f and hate niggers with a passion.

Turns out people who complain about the jackboot on the neck of the people are really just mad that they’re the not ones wearing it.

>"parents indoctrinate kids"
>troon flag
>Marxist bio
The jokes write themselves.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

When I was a young man and the internet consisted of pterodactyls pecking out Morse-binary on regular phone cable, you used to get your fap material by chatting a lady up, complimenting her and maybe making her laugh.

Both of you walked away with a little ego boost and feeling pleasant about the whole affair.

Now guys are retards because they pay the money and say stupid shit and still see the pussy. And Reddit made you all queers that are afraid of vaginas and want to see random shit up ladies assholes, if not boys pretending to be ladies

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

As a life long Libertarian I don't think it would have what I'm looking for.