random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sprate Header]

how do you even rape your own alter? Do you masturbate in your room?

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

I do not trust you and now I will shoot you.

 

[Haffhart]

Wait until I tell Mr. Buttons what a bigot you are.

If a woman owning a trendy cute thing is a red flag, dude’s probably gay. Unless that trendy thing is a mass collection of Among Us-shaped fidget toys—then it’s a red flag.

 

[Geranium]

she looks like a huge baby shoved into the skin of a 60-something meth-head grandma

 

[Aunt Carol]

This whole adult baby granny aesthetic fake sick wheelchair neckhole thing has to be their shared fetish. There's no other explanation.

 

[Hepativore]

Everything bad that ever happens is because of Harry Potter game; yes I have a good grip on reality

-FinalCisoidalSolutio (TiM)

 

[The Legend 27]

"Leave me the fuck alone and do us both a favour. Do something more meaningful with your life and stop cooming to porn constantly too."

 

[Zero Day Defense]

Women get gifts. From their husbands, friends, their kids. I have a heap of stuffies, including one or two of these.
These people desperate to find and designate red flags from mundane stuff, but the true red flags are fundamental
and easy to spot. Liars, thieves, cheats, and girls who are too into horses.

 

[Meat Target]

What are the 9 most terrifying words in the English language again?

The Last Stand paid your grandmother a nice visit.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

US pubic school did something right for once

(it's porn)

why is my troon forum thread getting shitted up with gook politics sperging

you have a pre teen boy inside you? I'm calling the cops.

My truck runs on explosions happening thousands of times a minute and Ford doesn't have to give me permission to make those explosions.

There's an R rated Winnie the Pooh movie? What?

Its really fucking annoying when you are having a good duel back and forth against an opponent and then his anime harem fuckbuddies come out of nowhere, turn it into a 5v1 and gank you.

Boomers confirmed dicklets

They stick the cock into a shitty arse and measure at the poop line. Like when you check your oil.

I gotta say that after time spent in the SRS thread, pictures of normal dicks are kind of refreshing.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Here's what happened. The train gained sentience and realized it was in Ohio. Being a train, it couldn't become an astronaut. The second best thing was getting revenge on Ohio.

JK Rowling can't keep getting away with this.

This whole post was a gem:

"It takes a village to raise an idiot."

What's the issue he just said he was gonna get some Canadian healthcare and get everyone else some Canadian healthcare too.

*insert highly original gay frog joke*

If it wasn't for bullying I'd even more of an autistic faggot. Thanks, bullies!

There's a level above racism? I need to up my game.

Sadly, having an impressive cock isn't enough to discourage that place from ruining your life.

 

[vomitusdeux]

My fellow American, what part of train autism don’t you understand? Feel free to ask me about Thomas the Tank Engine, even though I’m sure there is a resident expert on the Farms.

On behalf of the farms (and the taxpayers!) I’d like extend a warm “Thank you!” To you!

(And to your presumably impressive vagina, for keeping him on the straight path!)

You fool. Indians can convert to Judaism.

It is what Cockhome syndrome looks like when you owe your entire career to gargling jewish cum to get promoted by the algorithm and your main cum dealer is leaving you without a guaranteed supply to re-up on your jew-jew-cum to fame/wealth pipeline

Damn. All of this AND bestiality!

 

[Vyse Inglebard]

Imp Midna is unironically 40 pounds of pussy and ass.

 

[Spud]

I wish I have never fallen in love with V-tubers. Because they are in the end just real people with avatars... and I can't connect with them. Every time I try to love I am rejected. Literature and alcohol are my only companions. That's why I identify with the plight of Frankenstein's Monster.

I'm sure Hitler could relate to the art teacher thing and liking animals as well, that doesn't mean you're in love with Hitler retard.

 

[Shiny Shroodle]

eat your Flintstones vitamins to get a big dick like Fred Flintstone

 

[Gentlebastard]

This is the most nigga problem I've ever seen.

I cannot believe we are most likely going to lose my favorite lolcow. I'm not sure how to process this and am not ready to grieve.

boy the jokes for this one just write themselves don't they

Listen man, normal people with no criminal record love throwing their life away committing armed robbery over literally 2 dollars and a bucket of KFC. Very common issue.

Can you imagine how physically repulsive these three people are?

It's like letters to Penthouse for wine aunts.

I hope all of your likes and retweets will be a solace to you when your husband ditches you for his side-ho and leaves you a single mother. But hey, you can always troon out your kid if you want more Internet points.

New holy icon just dropped! Always such a spiritual moment when a NEW SAINT is announced.

Everything on reddit is creative fanfiction until proven otherwise. I am willing to believe that person, man or woman really is autistic though.

As everyone knows, gender fluid is non-Newtonian and solidifies immediately with pressure.

I thank Christ every night that I had the good fortune not to be born a disgusting fucking porridge nigger, but if (and I am suppressing the urge to vomit as I type this) I had the bad luck of being a Scot, I would be, as they say, pure fucking raging at the trannies right now.

Imagine being so selfish and narcissistic, you'd fuck over an entire country for the sake of a double-rapist in a scratchy blonde Party City wig.

Both sides are run by narcissistic power-mad grifters who can't stand it when someone else gets the limelight. We can even sell T shirts like they did for the Twighlight movies.

Like you said, the fact fatass is in an inpatient rehab facility means that he probably isn't a stroked-out vegetable (yet).

wow who could've possibly thought that a ranch centered solely on "GUYS I'M TRANS" wouldn't work out, couldn't be me

Who could forget his iconic catchphrase, "It doesn't matter if you neck a load of hormones and whack the ol' todger off, you can't change your male socialisation, baby."

Whoever started this trend of making burgers as tall as your hand should be shot for crimes against food.

I think we need more trannies who deadname other trannies

These people want a revolution and they can’t even coordinate to form a proper mob because they’re all too busy squabbling with each other LOL.

Source: Trust us bro and if you don't, you're a nazi who supports the totally real genocide.

Roaming gangs of TERFS murdered all the trans POC first by reading Julie Bindel articles aloud on street corners in minority neighbourhoods.

Slowest. Genocide. Ever.

“No one is telling you to like [dick/pussy], but” is the “I’m not racist, but” of troons

 

[Meat Target]

Oh, there's a cure for that, make no mistake. But, the law frowns upon such a remedy.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

I wish him the best in that endeavor. It's like 3 grand for a handjob at the existing ones, someone's gotta build a bunch of them and drive the prices down, these hoes got it too good

 

[Focken Kiwi]

This war is not lost! This war will never be lost!

 

[Aunt Carol]

That's the face of a man who slipped his dick into her tracheostomy and gave deepthroat a whole new meaning.