random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Zero Day Defense]

I'd rather fuck a beehive daily than marry a Canadian woman.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Say what you want about someone like barbara, at least you know who she was.

I refuse to believe any Disney adult has a good credit score.

I used to be in a Squishmallow group where the premise was to post them in funny situations. I don't even collect them, just like plushies in general and thought it was an amusing group. Then one day someone posted a pic with their Squismallow sitting next to actual meth and black tar heroin. The group imploded on itself with half being like "it's unreasonable to allow literal meth here" and "hurrhurr it's no different than the pics of Squish pretending to smoke weed, grow up you baby." Bruh it's fucking meth, you're a fucking methhead. Anyway not exactly consoomer in this instance but Squishmallow fans are I N S A N E in numerous ways.

Yes. Real men punch trees like in Mincraft until they turn into piles of wood and turn that wood into tools.

What's the pedophile version of twink death?

I still don't think you should name your kid "Anakin" or "Phasma."

I see one awesome video, and then a bunch of barbaric poopy skins being barbaric poopy skins. Guess which one I liked and I'll let you fuck the old bitch who collects soda cans out of my recycling bin.

Did you buy yourself a multi-thousand-dollar lion fursuit? Are you in debt because of your insatiable Nala lust?

Disney should set up a little memorial garden in each park where you can spread your ashes (for a price, obv) or something. I bet they'd make bank with it with how much of a problem it seems to be.
Maybe have a character present or something.

You're welcome Disney you can have that one for free.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

thing is most vtubers are young, and lot of them are more introverted - they're not method actors or sociopaths (otoh lot of them are women...)

 

[yydszmiteg2]

also i learned i may not be as neurotypical as i suspected

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Give it a week and they'll find the agent rocking under his desk, muttering "am hole".

 

[Meat Target]

A world where people don’t have the freedom to make bad choices and to chimp out about the consequences of those choices is a world without lolcows.

 

[Croaking Spider]

i've spent the past five minutes trying to get wood wtf

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

>I recognize those shit stains
I hate this thread.

 

[Faceless Whore]

My fave fat retard Faceless Ho is so angry horny for me right now they’re posting all over my profile and on other threads to get more angry ho’s to do the same. Hey new fans, sorry my tone is too dry for your autistic asses to read properly.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I have emailed my congresswoman 4 times and received no response.

 

[Meat Target]

Conversely, the NSA and CIA have all my nazi memes and feet pics
C'est la vie

 

[Super Dilator Duel 3D]

A man's first death is when he fakes his suicide to fap to cub porn and code for his spanish fuckbuddy's trans persona. A man's second death is when he gets banned for sending a compromised mod pack to a zoomer with absolute shit taste in minecraft versions.

Courtesy of a comment left on @byuu's profile by @Peru oso donas

 

[Pedophobe]

they're going to quote me on your tombstone when im done with you

 

[Sprate Header]

"They are truly the ultimate scum of the earth. Treacherous, wretched backstabbers with -1,000,000 honour, beyond all redemption. They only deserve to burn. The fucking Joker described it perfectly: when the chips are down, they'll eat each other."

 

[quackrock]

Catherine is open about her extremely normal hobbies and interests which include furries, diapers, catgirls, My Little Pony, Harry Potter, Lilo and Stitch, inflation, gigantism, lactation, feet, urine, BDSM, dilation, girldick, exhibitionism, hypnosis, humiliation, fishing, castration, roller coasters, cremation, prolapsed anuses, pool toys, and of course, gaming.

Blocked & Reported episode on the Tranch, timestamp 43:25:

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/the-te...gue-phillip-matthew-logue.86681/post-15320488

 

[Mr Bunny]

I would rather die than touch a vagina.

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

He deserves to die gurgling and screaming as the Wendigo demands he eat another strip mall burrito.

 

[Table Country]

they're going to quote me on your tombstone when im done with you

Niggas gon' be goin pop pop pop, watchin crackers drop. This gonna be Waco-nda.

idk what the context is but I assume that Destiny is a natural Spanish speaker thinks molest means annoy

I don't like him, but I don't want to see him slaughtered in the name of Allah.

The Oedipal Industrial Complex™

Once we get to the point kiwis are writing scat fan fiction about Lucas' wiping technique, the thread has gone downhill.

!!! IT'S PSYCHOLOGY FAGGERIN' TIME !!!

 

[Admiral Throbnelius]

Hey I gotta give it to the spokesperson who exposed me. Your fuckin hilarious. Another thing. A little bit of your findings are innacurate. Another thing , I'm alot of things , but a pedo is not one of them . All I'm trying to do is profit somewhere somebody else is going to fill the void NO MATTER WHAT. It could be alot worse. Have a good one

You guys I see will never stop. Nor will u understand . Listen , I made my decision as a man knowing it's dam near selling my soul. But let that be for my to comment on .. Nobody said this was right. But Shit . You guys go ahead and let me take a look and investigate you. You can sit and act like your some type of saint, Knowing your not. You guys honestly are barking up the wrong tree.. because I could really give a fuck less ..

 

[Gentlebastard]

The most embarrassing part of this is admitting your boyfriend is a poo in loo, anon or not.

They're both very audibly "left wing milieu." It's worth it for the content. (The furry who works for them I can barely tolerate, however.)

A ranch full of mentally unstable dickless men waving guns around. While trying to tend to in impossible number of economically unviable animals. This has been a beautiful tragedy worthy of Shakespeare

>not being able to tell the difference between parallel and perpendicular

Stay safe, my Kiwi friends.

From https://kiwifarms.net/threads/2023-security-check-up-reminder.155172/#post-15356416 :

Hello again friends. It's me again here to remind you to not be retarded.

Hacked in fucking Minecraft. Lol

I'd sooner lick an AIDS patient than download anything from someone on here

People can't hack your nudes if you never take any.

It's like that cake is asking for it, for me to come and inhale it, commanding me like a hypnotist.

Also I would never use a password manager. I generate long passphrases and keep them on a physical piece of paper. Good luck hacking a sheet of cellulose glowniggers. And good luck guessing which random string of schizo text is a password for which account and which ones are just meaningless babble.

They don't want to commit suicide, they want to be euthanized. They're so selfish that they want someone else to do the dirty work for them. Redditors are so impotent they can't even kill themselves right.

Who thought that the smartest person in this whole tale would turn out to be the propane salesman.

a shit it's a copypasta but still I've met people like this

Never fuck with the propane man. They are quick, clean, and brutally efficient at what they do.

Obviously this is just speculation and total guesswork based on the fact that these are mentally unstable people who have a lot of access to weapons.

EDIT: I'm retarded

Welcome to the farms. We're all retarded down here.

it's against my religion to pay retail

would it kill you to link the damn farms next time you base a damn episode on our work? I don't get paid for sitting with my thumb up my arse reading KF, what makes you special?

All the journalists did the time tested way of finding the truth: asking the delusional idiots involved and uncritically believing everything they said while neither checking nor thinking about the plausibility or probability of any of it.

It's always an animae PFP.

He’s a disabled French (?) guy who powermods a bunch of subreddits

I mean, can you imagine a lower form of life? I'd rather be reincarnated as a disabled cockroach. Lol. Lmao even.

I feel like I'm a paparazzi or a tabloid writer when I post here. This site is basically TMZ for insane internet people.

Sure buddy, sure!

All those films and erotic novels where women aren’t wearing underwear because they’re hot and horny are just lies, right?

Next you’ll try to tell us that women don’t have amazing full body orgasms.

LIES!