random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Law]

I feel like this post is just a mess of words made by a robot. nice try Mossad

 

[Gentlebastard]

how many pages are we going to spend coping about who is a journoscumfaggot and who isn't?

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned man with a wilted boner.

It's basically Schrodinger's retarded fat baby at this point.

Then he complained about TikTok saying it was just girls dancing provocatively to songs. I guess he'd be better if they were hunky men but he needs to hide his homosexuality under a thin veneer of conservatism.

"He was shoving a grapefruit up my ass, that was fine, we agreed to that, but then he slapped me out of nowhere and called me a whore! I felt so degraded and unsafe."

Where do you think you are? Mean-spirited is practically our motto, faggot.

The topsoil identifies as healthy.

A lot of people ignore that females can be degenerate coomers too.

Everyone looks like a million bucks next to the Am Hole.

Did the evil Fuhrer of Texas outlaw Crest Whitestrips, too? This guy's teeth look like he's been gargling with piss.

Actually, considering the population under discussion, I guess I'm not ready to rule out the possibility that he has been gargling with piss.

He knowingly infected hundreds of men with AIDS because he literally couldn't stop sucking cock and fucking mens' butts.

Don't worry, lil' pooner, you'll show 'em what a real man can do! You'll show 'em all!

In their minds, JK Rausling and her stormterfers are firing up the gas chambers right now.

Imagine the awkward stares as this obvious (probably blue haired) girl sits down at a lunch table and goes: “Heya fellow dudes! Anyone going to the queer kids alliance meeting afterwards? It’s very masc!”

Oh wait, who am I kidding. She’ll sit awkwardly by herself in a corner, doodle gay dudes kissing, and on the way out try a half nod to the guy sitting next to her in class.

Then go and cry in the bathroom because she wasn’t sure if he saw her.

Excuse my massive newfaggottry

That's how you clock someone who draws gay male art.

Very cute proboscis!

 

[AN/ALR56]

Just this morning at Whole Foods I seamlessly entered a conversation with a roastie milf with a ring about SVB in the water aisle... and I said it’s the canary in the coal mine signalling the complete economic collapse of the US. She was looking at me in amazement like she wanted me to paint her lips in cum.

 

[Coelacanth]

Does everyone from Ireland have extra chromosomes?

 

[BirdUp]

 

[William Tyndale]

Went to a satanic church once because some marine asked to join him. It was fat, ugly people. Lots of them having sex afterwards. fucking gross weirdos

 

[BirdUp]

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

That looks like four walls, electricity, and air conditioning to me. Your home still looks rather colonized, in my humble opinion. Quit appropriating my culture, Jacquelyn. Plus, a denim jacket? Really? My culture is not a costume. And was this article published on the Internet? In English? In the written word?

Away with thee! Back to the non-problematic mud huts of Africa you go.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

I too name my pets after what I intend on doing with them. Such as my cute poodle I just got from the pet store called Bootysex

 

[Table Country]

Can you define bread?"
"It's carb-rich foodstuff made with yeast?"
"What about sourdough? That doesn't use yeast, so how can you even say bread is real?"

Spec Ops: The Line was really fun. It’s what gave me my love for war crimes.

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

The fuck are they gonna do with melatonin? Nigga about to commit a nap

God bless you Kiwi farmers, When there was no lolcows to laugh at, you all became Lolcows for our entertainment

Gender. Affirming. Knitwear.

>Sees the spoiler warning
>Opens anyways
>Regret

Sad, many such cases

I skimmed a wiki on All Tomorrows creatures once, and the modular pooner in the first image triggered a memory. I think the sky queefer comes from something else entirely.

I could easily fit Cyrax's entire body inside my colon. I'm not kidding.

I found a picture of one of the bananas

Why do so many people here have Ralphs sad dick saved to their computers?

Total kiwi anarchy!
A janny getting paid real money!
More broken dicks!
Nudes being sent like Jehovah witness pamphlets!
Users doing gay ops, being simps and being huge faggots!
Graf being bitch made canadian soy cuck!
Everybody shitting on everybody!

We love our jannies, our forum enforcement
We love our administration, they're important

Multiple endings, from IRS tax fraud, to barely eeking by while balancing the hoard but still happy, running off with some chick then she kills you (whether it's your body or soul), Waco, death by disgruntled worker, or summoning the dreaded alpaca death god by throwing too many dead bodies in the death pit (will not happen if dying of natural causes).

I generate long passphrases and keep them on a physical piece of paper. Good luck hacking a sheet of cellulose glowniggers.

Seriously y’all are so backed up with piss and hot air that I don’t find her iCoNiC that I’m getting paragraphs of raging. But yeah I’m the sperg

alexa, pull up the statistics of homosexuality in the nigger community

As of yesterday, this user still had posts, but in the foreseeable future it is likely that he will kill himself for these people's erections.

We begin with thirty-five ROFL emojis. Not one. Not two. Thirty-five. This excess is meant to underscore just how ridiculous and preposterous everything is that she is about to respond to. This overkill very simply means, she is really bothered.

IDK about you, but I'm using the internet to access this webspace and thus also have access to all the scat porn I could ever copy and paste.

 

[Spud]

The Finger Me podcast is still on the table.

 

[The Skeksis Emperor]

you're on Kiwi Farms, which should have been a clue that your life isn't going well

 

[Jason Wynn]

I like dogs. I'm glad my dog isn't all irradiated and shit.

 

[mister meaner]

I'm not afraid to use my penis if necessary

 

[Gentlebastard]

You didn't even wait a whole sentence to contradict yourself.

If he can't even take a piss by himself, he definitely can't wipe his own ass. I'll leave you with the mental image of the poor nurses having to deal with wiping his greasy sneaked-cheeseburgers poops

stop drugging yourself and you probably won’t have to piss in salad bowls quite so often anymore.

He isn't concerned about the stroke. He's concerned about butter, mustard, and getting his extra meals

Having a troon partner seems more complex than operating heavy machinery. You have to learn a whole new language otherwise it kills itself.

This guy is such an amazing cow. The nursing home arc is pure kino.

Troons, sex work and antifascism, name more iconic trio.

It still blows my mind that anyone could ever willingly go to a fucking porn shoot and still act surprised when they encounter degenerates.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

please rein in your inflation fetish

 

[make_it_so]

After heavy consideration, and with a heavy heart, I must announce, that now, I too, am in favor of Mass Rape. Damn you, Pippa!

 

[Useful_Mistake]

Good quote, but already posted:

 

[Blackhole]

transphobes go one day without their biases being confirmed challenge (impossible)

A gorilla got shot in Cincinnati and things haven’t been the same ever since.

No sadder words of tongue or pen:
"Kiwi Farms was right again!"

One cup of tea for $45 shouldn't be just okay. It should be so good you have a psychotic break.

jannies, retard spill on aisle 3, mop it up

old man so outta touch that he's referencing Skyrim in 2023 smh "a vote for me is a vote for Talos"

Yeah, it's called a period and trans girls have them too. Just because they menstruate partially digested Spaghetti O's doesn't make them any less valid.

Kill printers, behead printers, roundhouse kick printers into the concrete, slam dunk a printer into the trash can, crucify filthy printers, defecate into the printer's paper tray, launch printers into the sun, stir fry printers in a wok, toss printers into active volcanoes, urinate into printers' ink cartridges, judo throw printers into a wood chipper, twist printers' power cords off.

Being a "digital native" and not knowing how to use digital technology is like being a native of the country of India and not knowing how to shit on the street

What a fucking faggot. I tried to think of something more substantive to comment, but seriously, what a fucking faggot.

"DUDE, WEED LMAO." *laughs obnoxiously* "Man, fuckin' white people, am I right, fellow whites?" *laughs obnoxiouser*