random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

And then for some reason 7 minutes of Bob trying to argue that the Cocaine Bear movie is a "WOKE-aine Bear" movie.

This brain dead fucker

but I won't be surprised if it comes out worse than empress Theresa.

Zero degrees of separation from the Amhole. ZERO DEGREES OF SEPARATION.

The internet and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.

I second that - segregation is a good thing.

Why does he think it is spelled SWATTing?

She’s concerningly low-IQ.

I am fucking disappointed.

I miss the days when "hackers" didn't advertise it.

Dis gon b gud.

Every day, I'm thankful for Null's digital Iron Dome that is KiwiFlare. The Ooperator protects.

 

[Faceless Whore]

“This is brainwashing at the highest level. People die as a result of trolling, and people will continue to take their own lives when they can’t see any other way out. How much more blood will stain their typing fingers before someone can put a stop to this madness?”

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Awww man why you do me like that?

The answer is always "the lulz."

 

[Seafarer]

Mix a bit of cocaine into your formicarium and ants take a harder upright turn than a libertarian after a year in a nigger neighborhood.

 

[Spiny Rumples]

In my circles it would not fly if someone was behaving appropriately towards a woman.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

I genuinely hope they find happiness, but also that they promptly return to Mexico.

 

[Instant_Pot_User]

No, they went for the 50 IQ Somalians who will be scamming welfare in their capitol cities until the heat death of the universe.

...the ability to create tasty food doesn't make you a homosexual.

 

[MrJokerRager]

You post like a 23 year old basement dweller who has a microdick and a persistent skin disease.

why are you such a joyless cunt? do you have an uncle that touches you funny?

Faggot isn't a swear you stupid faggot, faggot is a slur if anything. But yeah, fuck you you fucking fuck. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck.

https://www.npr.org/2021/01/27/961063804/colorful-language-may-have-benefits-be-sign-of-intelligence

Fuck the fuck off you fucking faggoty fucking fuck. If we want to fucking call it fucking fuckery, and you don't fucking like it, you can eat fucking shit.

 

[Bland Crumbs]

I want to dissect her.

 

[The Rats in the Walls]

Jon is a weaw human being, and a hewo.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Please, no more talks about weird contraptions getting shoved up into the womb . Lets get back to genital mutilation.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I just have to say this is probably my second favorite thread title, second only to Tard Baby General

I have recently infiltrated an ultra secret trans discord using the clandestine technique of lying.

Bring back bullying. This faggot wasn't shoved into enough lockers.

“Our fat nerds are cool, unlike theirs.”

I had an exceedingly cruel-spirited comment typed up, but I'm going to refrain since none of them have done anything to bring it upon themselves.

We’re conjoined twins and share a vagina — but only one of us has a boyfriend​

Two girls, at the same time. 'Monkey paw finger retracts'

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't day anything at all - unless you happen to be on the Kiwi Farms."
-Grandma

If you've ever wanted to go to Eastern Europe, just visit Portland instead.

If you have sex with a conjoined twin does that count as a threesome?

Putting the "sensual" into "non-consensual".

Calling someone a faggot if you disagree with them is a tradition that is as old as spoken language I'm pretty sure.

How do they always manage to fuck up the most basic and easily fun concepts so completely?

Someone never saw the historical shrapnel maiming pics in school

“Kiwi Farms would never be mistaken for investigative journalism”.

Maybe that’s true, because KF has a culture of meticulously archiving and researching personalities, digging up information that often couldn’t be posted elsewhere due to censorship or social influences.

they pass like kidney stones

I'm pretty sure many of us would MAID ourselves if we were considered independent investigative reporters given the state of the media now.

A&N yet again proving itself as the most depressing board

The US government is the biggest lolcow on the planet.

 

[Shiny Shroodle]

And no, I'm not participating in your old lady fetish, can't you keep them off your mind for 10 seconds?

65 is a bit young for him.

"God doesn't want us to do factory farming, I'll tell you that. I asked God if it would judge me, and it said, 'For factory farming you will be judged.'"

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

what do you have to say for yourself goober??? Tell us your secrets

Karl brought his freezer-burned brisket chili to the church picnic and is mad he didn't win first place.

What a petty gay retard if true.

Man, if I had drafting skills and a Cricut I could sell Roomba sigil stickers on Etsy; I bet that'd go over gangbusters. Little Seal of Solomon Roomba vacuuming around, showing off your witch cred and/or dragging dog poop over the carpet.

Back in my day we just wore scapulars so The Virgin Mary wouldn't damn us to hellfire if we died in a car accident, adding insult to the injury of already pooping ourselves for the EMTs that found our bodies. (This is also why you should always prepare for accident death by wearing clean undies.)

It's called shitting myself with dignity.

>vanilla flavored water

Just another reminder to keep your mouth shut and make your basement into a Faraday cage.

Anyone who rhetorically uses the term "human being" is a complete fag on par with people who spam "y'all" and "folks."

 

[Kamen Rider Faiz]

"Syrup posted the thread Is being a sissy baby inherently homosexual, will you go to hell for being a sissy baby? in Q&A."

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

May God preserve your innocent soul young man.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

>It looks like five people took ipecac and food coloring and threw up all over a 3x5 foot piece of cloth

 

[William Tyndale]

Can't hate the hustle, especially when it's at the expense of troons.

 

[Betonhaus]

Fucking switch to decaf, dude. Jesus Christ. Thread mentions aren't supposed to be an autism Bat Signal. Porn is not going to kill you, you fucking spaz.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

"I am staking my reputation on this attritbution.
When was the last time you put your own name on the line this publicly to help stop true evil?"