random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Itspinklava]

You’re fucking threatening people with autism hashtags.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Can I be chris chan?

How long till a local ween tracks him down?

>"pretending"
>he thinks the Lizard King isn't real
Oh ye of little faith

Giga retards have a way of coming together. Many such cases.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

"grippy sock vacation"

He dindu nuffin about fire safety.

they hear the truth and nearly die like an exorcism.

"BREAKING NEWS: Ethan Ralph's gunt becomes sentient, sues Ethan for emotional damages. 'I didn't consent to fucking a horse,' says gunt."

 

[vomitusdeux]

The hardest thing for me to watch is a two way tie between extracting maggots out a niggers penis and close up shots of Japanese people eating shit.

Don’t worry internet friends, I’m driving to Richmond as fast as I can, repeatedly clobbering my head with a mallet. If my calculations are correct, I should give myself juuust enough brain damage to be under Sidhartha’s care as our inside man.

You feel that? The pressure change with all the heavy panting and breathing? That unmistakable stench of microwaved chicken nuggies and jiz? I can even feel the ground shake ever so slightly from the steps of the morbidly obese.

Weens... thousands of them...

5.7 billion? I don't know, my offer is 20 bucks and a couple of slices of yesterday's pizza.

Press S to spit on these crybaby faggots

England is a stones toss away. He'll probably get stabbed before he can impregnate a luscious poojeta who just made some goat curry meat pie(imagine the smell)

nah, boss, they're losing to (lady)cock

they might just be losing to regular cock, even...

"they should force someone to dress a certain way because they have a disabilty"

Go to hell, neck beard. I've been here longer than you, and I'll be here long after you're banned when your sissy fetish is exposed.

Would you want to have sex if AO3 smut was your introduction to sex? I wouldn't.

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

These last few years I heard the future is female. Who knew the “female” would have a dong and a five o clock shadow?

 

[Aunt Carol]

I need someone who has seen more penis to put forth their opinion.

 

[Poonocchio]

I'm sure the remaining lifespan of /r/justunsubbed can be measured in hours, given the admins have said "suck the girldick or we'll make you suck the girldick" and they effectively bent down to suck the girldick just to punch it in the balls.

 

[Buttz McSmellington]

 

[Law]

Our shenanigans are cheeky and fun. His shenanigans are cruel and tragic.

 

[Seafarer]

Did they really have to start the article with an anecdote from a woman who makes all her financial decisions based on symbolism from her own dreams?

 

[Zero Day Defense]

There is no spectrum of chicken sex. There is no spectrum of wheat sex.

 

[Hitman One]

New Zealand and Germany (shithole countries).

DAMN YOU LIZ FONG JONES!

 

[Gentlebastard]

If social media has taught us anything it's that if you can do something, no matter how utterly retarded, you must do it.

Epstein was killed by the energy companies. He glowed so hard he could be used to power all of New York for a year. Can't have that kind of competition roaming around.

The bread man wants his due bitch.

it sounds like she grew up in a Tom Waits song

Do not shit on things in public.

Is this hard to understand? Unless you are some kind of street-shitting subhuman, the concept of "do not shit in public" should not be hard to understand.

he's offloading responsibilities onto an appliance again

Loudly proclaiming that you know how to make bombs because your ancestors fucked goats isn't going to earn you updoots.

This is really fucking disturbing. I know we're documenting people like they're in a zoo but I've never seen a person destroy themselves in real time and brag about it like this before.

The troll we need, but do not deserve.

Every hour I'm on the internet, just reveals to me, I rated humanity far, far higher, than I originally should have.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

the trains part is moreso rooted in a porn addiction

 

[Geranium]

For fucksake you sanctimonious fucking amoeba climb out of yourself for one day.

 

[NoReturn]

Just you know, with goddess vagina cookies mixed in.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

I've made this commentary just to appear in random.txt and site's header messages

 

[Kamen Rider Faiz]

BLM shirt while smoking crack. Saint Floyd would be proud.

I'm surprised Patrick S. Tomlinson hasn't tracked them down and turned them into salami yet.

"I always thought that after my dad got old and his back went to shit that the bottles mysteriously collecting in his room were a sign of declining hygiene. Turns out he was just trying to be a Roman doctor"

No that’s good news.

I always thought that after my dad got old and his back went to shit that the bottles mysteriously collecting in his room were a sign of declining hygiene.

Turns out he was just trying to be a Roman doctor

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Nobody is asking the important question: was she hot? Or I guess we should ask the other important question first: was she a she or a “she”?

"She"'s cannot cum because the amhole is an open wound and not a sexual organ

Can we have ONE thread about ANYTHING without anybody bringing up troons ffs

Can we have one day when troons don't inject their degeneracy into the public eye?

 

[Markass the Worst]

NONE OF US ARE GOING TO HELL!

source