random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Hot HOT HOTTT]

He is an ouroboros of cringe.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I think humans are naturally retarded and have self destructive tendencies due to our long lifespans and weird adaptations, and no one is behind this since it would take a ton of people to prop up a plan like this and barely 1 guy can keep a secret, let alone 2 or more.

 

[Catalooger]

SpaceEdge - With friends like these, who needs enemies? Part 2
Part 2a.
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Part 2b.
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Yet another Tomlinson text in addition to the one posted above on this page by @In the Sick of It

"You piss yourself on every occasion, stalker."

He had one exchange two weeks ago with the exact quote of

"You piss yourself in your widdle pants, stalker. Cry and piss yourself in prison, stalker, in your widdle pants. Enjoy prison, stalker. We're going to."

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

His ceremonial garb is a moomoo, the attendees look like they reek, and it's taking place in a Marriot; is this just a rebranded Dashcon? Someone there has definitely pissed in the ceremonial Luciferian ballpit.

Unpissed balls are just another way the system keeps you down, maaan.

A Jack Murphy-esque homosexual butt stuff scandal would be less cringe than this shit.

"Do what makes you feel good"
"Saying the word Nigger alone in my house makes me feel good."
"OH you can't do that!"

I always found it entertaining when these Satanist groups were protesting in favor of Muslim refugees. Proclaimed devil worshipers demanding the import of extremists who venerate a pedophile warlord from the middle east is something that sounded like the plot of some child's Call of Duty and Doom crossover fanfiction. I'm sure the irony is lost on them.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

reminder that i've been through more in 23 years of my epic and based life of danger then u have in however long ur pathetic life has existed and wasted space on this planet. society is a machine with gears that turn and you are nothing but pathetic rust upon a nail that i step on with platitude.

 

[tehpope]

You can fake a poll but you can't fake lost sales.

 

[Nuns with guns]

Matt Yglesias, one of the founders of Vox.
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How could people be mad at a kiwi farm? Great fruit.

 

[Snusmumriken]

I’m sorry, I think it’s the fault of them big ol’ eyes, but I just wanna love and protect these wretched doods. I want to feed them appy slices and listen to their made-up stories about passing and softly deadname them while they have their nap ilysm doodz.

 

[Pissmaster]

Just so you know, when I need medical advice, I seek out the most profoundly autistic faggots I can find to ask.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Personally I avoid investing myself in whatever glitch of the mind causes humans to find stylized 2D drawings of women puppeted around by sweaty Japanese men attractive.

 

[Aunt Carol]

She really justified this by pointing out that Jeffrey Dahmer hasn't managed to kill anyone else since he's been dead.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

If journalism weren't dead and buried, there'd be 500 journalists spelunking up Bill Gates's ass

 

[Grift Garrison]

my dick fell off in a zaxby’s bathroom… and i didn’t notice until i got home

 

[vomitusdeux]

Corissa Enneking and Juliana Aprileo are a Kansas-based lesbian couple who weigh as much as three lesbian couples should

See if you can forage for a pooner mandrake out in the wilderness

*wheeze, gasping laughter, attempts to breath fatly*

Yup, that’s insulation coming out of the fucking wall. She says nothing about this and continues to fatly slide along her disgusting floors.

*jiggly head-nod trying to look sassy but instead looking like someone needs to slap a helmet onto her noggin before she smashes it repeatedly into a wall and howls before being hauled off on a short bus*

Fucking trumpet time.

there are no Jews in that part of Alabama

*watches a possum electrocute itself chewing through the last working wire in the trailer, sparking an electrical fire.* And this is going to be my entertaining room.

No doubt they all have buttholes like cup holders

Dude you absolutely have a pussy musk fetish

I do not think Null is exactly a go to expert on vagina's.

Thank God my wife is a terf.

30+ personalities including an 18 year old catgirl, 20 year old female who exists solely to fuck his wife, a traumatized 7 year old who hides when his wife yells at him, and a guy with a deep voice and angry eyebrows stuck in a 33 year-old man's body due to "trauma" or something.

I'm thinking too hard about teenage beaver breasts.

Amusing, but nothing beats Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack.

Is the floor even solid enough to hold the porno tub full of water?

Like dude, should the police check your hard drive I think they’ll forgive the gay porn. Your collection of monkeys in toddler clothes being tortured might raise some alarm bells though.

Accessorizing your crotch is such a chick move.

 

[ditto]

Germany measures time in sexually transmitted diseases?

 

[Meat Target]

It's not often that a leftist is so insane that even the ADL calls them out for disinformation. That's like the Elephant Man calling you ugly.

 

[Gentlebastard]

What do you call the opposite of "tomboy genocide"?

Even my autistic ass can clock a tranny out of the corner of my eye IRL in no time flat.

Canadians deserve this. The Leafs raking themselves will save the civilized peoples of the world the trouble.

This is literally what Ben Shapiro would look like if he trooned out.

I'd sooner trust a schizophrenic yelling on a street corner than a pollster these days. At least one truly believes what they're telling you.

I pointed out the obvious fact that the way to get the best fried chicken in any city is just to find the place with the most niggers in line. And if you're the only white guy in line, you're guaranteed awesome fried chicken.

Is this not simple truth?

*BANNED*

Is she a tranny or just very Greek?

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people are like kiwis
they fucking suck and I hate them

Every time I read arguments like this I wonder how Downs Sydrome folks know they have it without seeing their chromosome. Almost as if chromosomes affect our phenotype or something.

I'd say LARPing as a tranny is homosexual behaviour but even the gays I know wouldn't debase themselves like that

Even if you did pull of some truly amazing trolling craftsmanship, it's being done to redditors. That's like a pet cat dragging the mangled corpse of the family's budgie up onto their owners bed as a gift. It's not exactly big game hunting, is it?

I'm sure you only subscribe to /r/sissyhypno or whatever "to be able to post more accurately."

not just a r*dditor, but a tw*tter user too? dios mio...

Holy shit, please get a life and go outside.

@Null, please make it so new fags can't post for 6 months.

but then i would deprive the community of posts where someone tries to impress people by saying he studies the linguistic forms of retards on the internet to better impersonate them like some sort of predator

He's a piece of shit. We know. And now we know you have wife beater blood running through your veins. We didn't really need to know that.

Why do I love it? It's not just because of his inability to resist responding, or because of how predictable it always is. No, it's because I know he is seething with impotent rage as he sends every single reply.

do you get all your dating knowledge from Yakuza games?

you can be androgynous, theatrical and flamboyant without being rushed to the nearest clinic to have your dick inverted

Its the fistula life for you

You can still be a professional and a goofball so long as you temper it with wisdom.

I salute you. Alexander the Great might have been loved by his troops, and he and his generals might have conquered the World, but he's got nothing on your ability to assemble the greatest legion of retards this Earth has ever seen.

Thanks for listening to the ramblings of a befuddled man.

Not to be a pedantic faggot but

 

[Meat Target]

That didn't sound like a woman.

I'm halfway between thinking this is one of the funniest things I've heard lately and being borderline MATI over how degenerate it is.

 

[Aunt Carol]

"Haters mad I can experience childlike whimsy"

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

disappear quicker, than donuts around Moviebob.

Imagine being a pregnant mother getting decapitated on Christmas Eve

immediately napalm that lab until nothing is left but ashes. it is the only safe way to keep retard militants from spreading polio.

Imagine being stationed to a level three lab in Khartoum.

If you gave them a pack of Raman to cook, they would burn the whole building down with everyone inside instead.

NWA = Niggers Whacking it on Airplanes

"It's fine, miss. I'm Desiigner's court-appointed Certified Masturbation Mediator. He shall only be allowed to eat bland foods such as corn flakes on the rest of the flight.

they'll be launching themselves from outhouses to cross the Mediterranean, powered like a SpaceX rocket by the force of their own explosive choleric dysentery.

With our weaponized cholera everyone will shit in the street!

Nigger audacity will never cease to amaze me.

I respect and love Genghis for everything he did, especially the wholesale murder.

Pedos have probably been at half-mast for years since they heard the word "Lupron."

"Vaping is a stim" wow way to take accountability for your own actions.

Imagine being so convinced of your people's genetic superiority that you fuck it up to the point that you become inferior inbred retards

They make Samoans and sumo wrestlers look petite.

Steven Crowder is a closeted homosexual, change my mind.

There's just something about his face and mouth that look like they'd attract shotgun shells.

The US is a melting pot only insofar as the negroes all ended up stuck and burnt on to the bottom of the pan.

if you don't allow a teacher to brainwash your kid into hating their body and then turn them into a eunech they are going to do a flip over an issue they would never have even imagined if they had been born in Afghanistan.

because for a 26 year old, he has skin like an ogre's ballsack.

If you could still get arrested for being gay you would be at 1000/15

I've watched Cartel executions that disgusted me far less than these fucking freaks.
I've got no words for this fucking Heresy.
They're not even human to me.

It looks like a meme image you'd send to someone about a dude being kicked in the groin so hard his dick and balls flatten.

Fun fact that person is now farting out that mandible

This cramp was like a period cramp's God.

So everything wrong with animation once again traces back to Seth MacFarlane.

I'm not some simp for women, but if you're going to knock someone up, don't be a nigger to them.

JW's have roughly the same biblical literacy as Chris Chan.

I would literally eat her ass on the daily basis.

Their whole lives are like a Junji Ito comic.

I do love how it immediately devolved to wearing diapers. Never change reddit.

I'm an irl fat ugly bastard straight out of the nastiest NTR doujin, whereas gibi looks like she's too beautiful to shit.

What would this groid prefer? "LaQueefa was a shitskinned nigger who looked like a goddamn ape. She stank of all the baths she never took."

100% male-presenting amphetamine-American

it's speds all the way down to varying degrees

dont finger fuck a screamer in public...