random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sprate Header]

pissvortex.png

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Silence, ejaculator! You are going to the camps!

I just want a woman who scratch’s her vag lips all day and listens to gwar and talks about mma stats.

“Beer thirty. Now grab us a cool one and deep dick my mouth while you play the GI Joe game on the nes”

Oh wait. I guess don’t need a pick me girl, just a homosexual. Never mind.

I've never been happier to have a dick than I am after reading this article.

really? cause for me im nevfer happier to have a dick than when i put it in things: bottle of soap, a hole i cut into a basketball, an ant pile, a light socket, etc. you name it and ive stuck my dick into it.

Honey, you need to take me out for dinner before sending me to the milking camp

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

While I admire your family's military past and your dedication to your homeland, you should understand that eventually God Himself will send the flood and the combined RussoSino armies as a punishment for that anime avi

 

[Useful_Mistake]

the man was dumb enough to keep his bluetooth hooked when calling someone for what I assume is prostitution

It is an advert for race mixing. I have come to this conclusion by not watching the ad

he's angrily talkin shit about the people at the party then he's but buddy gives him a snickers and he's nicer cause he was a lil hungwy baby. as far as snickers commercials go it's pretty shit.

Snickers? More like nickers.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

"I may be a pedophile, but at least I'm not a fascist!"

you've heard of post nut clarity? well get ready for post having nuts clarity

Look, when I do it to you, it's accountability, when you do it to me it's harassment.

Okay fine, this one was from me, but it really sounds confusing out of context:

Is there an orthopedist in the thread?

 

[Gentlebastard]

Everyone on that table looks like these early AI-generated freak pictures of people.

Somehow, in a turn of events that makes a mockery of the life's work of Stephen Hawking, he has managed to gain additional mass and not become a black hole.

I, a woman, would like metal a lot better if it sounded completely different. Make me feel included goddammit.

Yeah throw in a tuba and lyrics about men hating tampons and shit.

Best I can offer is "Raining Blood" by Slayer.

"they'll cut off of their own noses to spite us" from the man who uses his popped anal cherry to argue how women don't exist

uploading images has been difficult because some brick faced tranny rapist is letting the thwomp jokes get to him, so now's as good a time as any.

You can retreat to your twitter tranny hug box all you want, still doesn't change the fact that you're a scrawny little faggot who doesn't pass who sexually assaulted an autistic woman. I live in your walls btw.

He has also cursed us with another post as of yesterday

the Azathoth of cows, a blind idiot cow at the center of a swarm of even more retarded orbiters

Whatever the reason actually is, I bet the idiots won that battle.

They're basically nerds advocating that every single ideological disagreement needs to be resolved in a Nigga Moment.

He's Ignatius Reilly come to life, but without the charisma.

>Red Choir one second determines gender
>Rich paypig heart shatters, claims fraud!
>Favourite "trap streamer" is actually bio-Woman

Things have escalated, Real Women are now pretending to be troons to grift chasers

"A troll who got banned and directed harassment at mods via modmail.". Sounds serious, what did he do? Call mod a "janitor".

 

[MrJokerRager]

Off Topic: I never thought a day would come where I would read the sentence you've just written and think not of some faraway socialist regime of foreign fuckry, but instead immediately attribute it to a political group consisting of nearly half of my own countrymen. But that's what just happened. fuck my life, this world is sick. guess I better take some heroin to feel better about it

 

[Dr. Henry Armitage]

So you're saying women are the niggers of gender?

 

[Pissmaster]

How was everyone's day today? my parents legit tried to send me to a autism meeting group since they said it would be good to make friends, I legit tried to give it a chance but by 10 minutes in some kid comes in screaming and having no voice control and being like the exact kind of autist you see in a cartoon , the girl next to me was some fatty shut in who kept saying 'captain toad' again and again i shit you not the other kids were the same slack jawed autists who talk about sonic you imagine. I genuinely had to put my finger in my mouth because i was laughing so hard, after half an hour of dealing with this shit i was like fuck this and just had to leave.

 

[frozen_runner]

As a retard I encourage beating retards

 

[Londo]

Can we add these as one of the quotes up top?

"attention all chatters currently confiding in me their daddy issues where their father disown them and said they regretted having them that was not an invitation to use us as therapy to use my chat as therapy thank you" - Null

"I'm not seething I'm not seething as I continue to seeth" -TylerBSR during the Marty cope streams

 

[MrJokerRager]

You don't understand. White women are all whores. My white sperm deserves to be in the most trad 2988 wife. I am the most beautiful rat amogus.

 

[Aunt Carol]

In a previous era someone would have settled for me.

(at approximately the volume and pitch of a hard-wired smoke alarm) MEEEEEEEERRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW MRROOOOOOOOWWWW MEEEEEOOOOWWWWWWWOOOWWWW MRRRROOOOOOAAAARRRROOOOAAAAARRRRRR MRRROOOOOWWWWWEEEOOOWWW

 

[Super Saiyan Hitler]

I mean go to porn sites and I have seen tranny porn and I didn't even want to see it. Like I said you can't run a search for anal on porn sites without seeing at least some tranny shit come up in the results. It's not something that happens frequently though.

 

[Dragged Into Sunlight]

You will get random stares and constant 日本語上手 in Japan as a foreigner, of fucking course being a fucking hedonite of Slaanesh will make it worse.

They don't expect you to know their social norms or language but they do expect you to respect their society. Appearing on their country looking like a Nurgling with zippertits trying to sneak into the men's side of an onsen is barely below the Enola Gay flying the skies.

 

[Path Wanderer]

he continues his unending quest to use sex with vulnerable individuals, both human and non-human, to fill the void created when dad walked out on him and mom.

 

[Gentlebastard]

"How do we get guests excited for our alcohol-free, vegan wedding?"

Add cocaine, hookers, and gladiator fights.
And a bouncy castle.

This went from homosexual to hilarious in 0.5 seconds.

TOTAL A-LAWG VICTORY
MILLIONS MUST RAGE

Et tu Catboy?

You can tell he's the type of guy who always has to be right, an expert on every topic, always correcting people over trivial mistakes. When it's your turn to talk he just blankly stares through you, watching Futurama episodes in his head.

Lolcows aren't real. Those are your delusions again, stalker.

Dear Janine,

Stop being insufferable cunts. If you were decent people, your "friends" and family wouldn't mind not eating meat or drinking for a couple hours to attend your shitty wedding. The fact that your guests feel they need to drink to be around you speaks volumes of your character, even more than your performative veganism.

Go fuck yourself,
The Human Race

If anyone invites me to a vegan alcohol free wedding I'm turning up high on datura

1) those are some ugly ass titties

If a beautiful woman sent me a video of her shoving a mason jar up her ass, I'd be repulsed, because I am a normal person. But there are people out there who'd pay good money for that

Won't someone think of the tweakers in Portland

I haven't had a drink in weeks but reading this dogshit had me convinced I had to be hung over or otherwise impaired.

Can herpes be transmitted via breast milk?

She should be shamed for being fat in public. I'm all for being as fat as you want in the privacy of your own home, but nobody deserves to be forced to see someone being that huge.

Expecting consistency is racist homophobic transphobic arachnophobic sexist in 2019 2020 2021 2022 2023, bigot.

There is no neutrality, embrace the lib ownage.

In his mind, he's fighting a pitched battle against the forces of pure evil, NOT normal people laughing at a buffoon.

It's always funny when you shitpost and someone responds with an effortpost.

what the fuck

So in closing: this dumb faggot can fuck right off.

Those Russians sure were lucky that Rick took an arrow to the knee so he wasn't able to join the war. He would have brought his entire arsenal, not only water balloons filled with paint, but also paper bags with human feces in them, fake gum packets with a spring that hurts your finger when you go for one, sheets of paper with "kick me" written on them, the list goes on. He would've been in front of that evil Putler inside of a week, to child him to his face.

There would be statues in his honor, and songs sang all over the world about how not fat and totally cool he is, and how all the stalkers are going to prison.

Tranch 2: This time it's dead sheep.

She's got that Hila Klein stare. I can hear the screams of palestinian children looking at this picture.

That's how fucking miserable you are in comparison; to the point that Guy Fieri seems based.

The nu-left are the fundies of the 21st century; their religion is faggotry and their God is the nigger.

I'm a former Muslim, and still use the label as a shield when I say shit about LGBT. Why not?

I respect any man who dresses like guy fieri

There are a million white-trash-adjacent moms out there that look just like Barb, it's like they stamp them in a factory.

WARNING: This might just be a superb troll, but given the insanity we see on a fairly basis it may well be real.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Some days were impossibly difficult, and I became nearly combative with my therapists. “I’ll never get better!” I’d say. “I don’t think I’m even wrong! I’m healthy, probably!” Then I’d watch Jennifer Lopez’s Super Bowl halftime show on YouTube, my head throbbing in my hands as I screamed “Get fucked!” to Albert, my profoundly infirm, AIDS-positive cat.

 

[Meat Target]

It's about ethics in whores hired for inter-billionaire blood feuds.

 

[MrJokerRager]

Guess how many time Hillary slept with a nigger? ZERO. Checkmate.