random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sparkling Yuzu]

That's not how nature works. There will always be conflict.

I dislike that you humour your farm equipment, enabling them to run around like feral animals in stolen drip

Cry more you fat Jew. I bet if you slit your wrists cheese whiz will come out.

Source: porn my troon ex used to watch.

Sorry your loli harem supplier became An Hero.

She sounds like the dwarf talking backwards in Twin Peaks.

date rape car rim cleaner.

Being a criminal doesn't automatically mean you deserve to be raped by Alice the Hun

I don't think I've ever met a people as dedicated to talking about piss/shit/cum like MTFs)

I would trade the lives of every kike that has ever existed for the life of a single Ladybug.

Redditors seem to be incapable of understanding camp. Possibly because of crippling autism.

pooner decided a coffin would be her ideal poonsack.

Woe is me, the left and big tech is making Crowder send his dick to everyone and abuse his pregnant wife.

Who wouldn't prefer longing for death in the peace of your own home?

I mean, who wouldn't want to have a retarded arts and crafts session as a foreplay. Nothing gets you quite into the mood like some Elmer's glue and popsicle sticks.

I was looking up state-of-art methods on phalloplasty (as one does...)

Stay tuned for a study on herpes in a rotpocket. Literal field day.

The other possibility involves Q-tip sounding which dear god no.

 

[Kheapathic]

The proper thing would be to ask for a volunteer and then fire everyone who raises their hand.

 

[BirdUp]

 

[Watcher]

Raymundo can be seen flashing gang signs, posing with a rifle, and boasting about an upcoming genital surgery.

From here

 

[vomitusdeux]

I don’t wear adult diapers, well not always. I just have a bit of a flatulence problem and sometimes it gets a bit excessive. It’s cost me many a cute girl in the past cause of my stink

 

[The Ultimate Ramotith]

He is a 25 year old man from Austrailia who has autism (that's what he says and I completely believe him).

 

[Watcher]

Oh, that was a wet one.

 

[gaystoner]

"no stalker child, you do not get to call me a fat faggot on my temporary public twitter account"

 

[Finger Pistols]

Fair enough. I'm retarded.

This one made me laugh for a fair bit.

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

Nigga's trying to integer underflow his way into cunny; fucking wild.

The aliens monitoring our progress as a species are probably so fucking confused.

Bro, his mother even killed herself before he could grow up to rape her, he's the perfect 'Chris Chan but set up for success' story.

 

[Poonocchio]

Deadname Allison. Well, all her names are dead now.

 

[Poonocchio]

I hope anyone that unironically stutter-types gets acid thrown in their face.

 

[Big Nasty]

"Me and my dad relaxing with our wieners out"

"thanks faggotlover800 for the donation"

 

[Lifeguard Hermit]

she was trying to talk to me

 

[Lithuophile]

I don't even know who's worse, the chicks who do this, or their eunuch orbiters who flood their comment sections with "mommy!!!"

God wills it that Russia is stronger than Georgia, therefore Gorgian government is bound to cry about it until judgment day.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I am going on a misgendering spree that would make the hags at reduxx wetter than Niagara Falls.

Have you tried not looking like some combination of a comedy skit cannibal and a circus clown?

Welp, glad that's settled then. Now we can focus on the really important matters, like 'how many racist angels can dance on the head of a pin?'

>PsyD, Psychology

Into the incinerator.

I express my emotions all the time.

I regularly call everyone I dislike a cunt.

Tl;dr: obese women with opinions.

His body IS a temple, to the demon of gluttony that is.

DO YOU HEAR THAT, GRANDMA PEGGY? I‘M AVERSE TO SEEING CUM NOW.

I hope anyone that unironically stutter-types gets acid thrown in their face.

Secretaries driving their 10 year old Prius to work have as much real car guy cred as you do. Just stop.

Jesus, he has the noodlehead 'no cap fr fr' haircut. At his age. What a douche.

It's abysmally pants-on-head retarded even by Reddit standards.

Did this idiot just dip the top of his head into freshly laid tar? It is bringing out the alcohol bloat in his face quite nicely.

The raccoon was just trying to find God and some communion wafers.

Raccoons are one of very few non-primate animals to be anatomically capable of performing the signum crucis. Coincidence?

We need a "well that's just fucking depressing" react.

For someone so fat, he has the thinnest skin I have ever seen.

 

[glass_houses]

This mother was trying to warn her son he'll never be seen as a woman, men will see a joke, women a threat.
She was trying to help the ungrateful faggot.

"My boner is transphobic."

Fairy? Lmao. He looks more like he’s about to tell us to get out of his swamp.

 

[MrJokerRager]

 

[Aunt Carol]

Once again, God is exempt from his own concept of morality lmao.

 

[internet friend]

"I can DM you if you don't mind seeing a seriously tiny penis"