random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Pedophobe]

"Sparse, dry, and ultimately unfulfilling".

It's kind of like reading Lovecraft but you're making fun of fat people.

You know all those sci-fi stories where the robots decide humans must be destroyed for the greater good? This is the inciting incident.

 

[Mad_Dog]

you dress like a woman but you're a man, I can tell because you stink of semen

 

[monstrous bubo]

also don't forget about the dick warts

 

[Croaking Spider]

When there's one black dude in a car full of people and he's the only one who's not a nigger, there's a problem.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

If Russ’ moebius extends to his booty then I bet he could pull a mean goatse.

May Allah send you dark days and disaster.

 

[Gentlebastard]

What a great gift, bite sized cancer and strokes.

The man's got more teeth than brains, and we know Ol' Chewin' Side is running low on the former.

This thread has inspired me to offload some of my fountain pens that don't get much use.

What do the kids say? MASSIVE COPE.

When the solar flare hits and buttfucks your e-book-reader-thing, I'll still have my books while you have nothing but your limp dick.

No matter your sex or gender, you need to be fully clothed when someone comes to your home to fix a thing.

what the actual fuck is that. who the fuck made that shit.

Oh great, we have sissification chatbots now too. AI is so going to kill us once it attains sentience.

I very eagerly await the first reverse/double trooning.

 

[Drowningman]

I get a rash when I drink Coke

 

[Useful_Mistake]

I get a rash when I drink Coke

 

[Tablet County]

I closed the door on a woman at a 7-eleven today.

I think he got diddled by a brave mahogany sun god.

theres no such thing as schizophrenia

 

[ロボ﹏§¤r﹏h¶rœ]

Then they came for the Groypers, and I did not speak out—because the terms of my probation requires me to be at least 50 miles away from underage boys at all times.

 

[Ken Barlow]

Mate there’s nothing soft about me alright? I went to one of the toughest boarding schools in the country, one boy died after being sent to jail and the other died from a brain hemorrage, people got beaten up all the time it’s we’re got my fighting skills from. You don’t know who you be messing with player!

 

[Aunt Carol]

I don't want to tell anyone else how to post, but if you visit any kiwifarms thread and find yourself asking something like why the lolcow doesn't have a septic tank, you should assume there are well documented reasons but not sensible ones.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Congratulations on joining not just a mafia, but a faggot mafia

 

[Useful_Mistake]

He might be popular in prison because he can't bite.

Double goatse all the way!

This fixation on Russhole's russhole adventures is much less sanguine.

 

[Rotollo 2]

"get the fuck out with your logical views, we wanna argue"

 

[Tablet County]

Having Mr. "I was only pretending to be retarded incontinent" in your corner is not the best social position to be in.

there are definitely some people here who weirdly act like they're normalfags, they'll spend eight hours a day watching some downie drool on himself and cast magic spells then look down on people for watching anime as if it's weird and degenerate which always came off really tone deaf to me.

Mickey and Minnie are sitting in a lawyer's office.

Lawyer says "So why do you two want to divorce?"

Minnie goes "He's fucking crazy!"

Micky replies "She's fucking Goofy!"

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Birds are racist.

When the solar flare hits and buttfucks your e-book-reader-thing, I'll still have my books while you have nothing but your limp dick.

This article didn't even mention Wet Ass Pussy once which is a huge oversight in discussing Judaism.

The first rule of political extremism is to have fun.

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

Also, I'm speaking as a borderline incel with incredibly low standards. Come to think of it, adequate vaginal ventilation is one of my few remaining requirements.

 

[JustSomeDong]

The racist ties of a watermelon.
The sexist ties of sandwiches.
The homophobic ties of peanut butter.

BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED, I AM CAPTAIN PROGRESSIVE!

 

[Plantation Barbie]

Come to think of it, adequate vaginal ventilation is one of my few remaining requirements.