random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

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They would literally prefer a timeline in which they had 10 mulatto downs syndrome grandchildren than maintain the most basic genetic hygiene of the population.
Tried to commit suicide-by-peanut but isn’t actually allergic to peanuts so they just put her in the psych ward.
As an owner of an actual penis I've never had to worry about "milking" stale piss out after I take a piss so I don't soak my boxers
Parbake your crust ya lazy, soggy-bottomed shitlord.
a hoe is never cold
 
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"but the only raw cheese I eat is cheddar because I grew up with it and find other cheese to taste awful."

I didn't remember to get the source.
 
She got into it with a conservative Christian:
staph-cleaned.jpg
Specifically, "*hugs my blahaj so to not fly off into a rage*".

Tbf if given a choice between being used as a comforter and emotional support, and cuddled (and possibly likely dry humped) by sobbing, foul smelling transvestites, or being savaged by three overenthusiastic drooling Rottweilers I'm picking the dogs every time.
 
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