random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Azdy]

"I saw it, thought it might have been CP and was scared the feds would come after me because I watched the video 3-5 times each month to see if it was really harmless or if I really did see CP. That caused me to have depression/anxieity and not upload Caillou videos for a good while."

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/the-easy-to-track-username-hall-of-shame.104753/post-17635231

 

[Picnic_Boy]

(I believe you @Ted_Breakfast, but this sentence is oddly funny to me.)

It was pretty melodramatic, I admit. It didn't help that I was flourishing a red magician's cape as I said it.

 

[Super Dilator Duel 3D]

Btw, if you want to kill someone because you believe "he is a pedophile" you are just exposing yourself as deranged and subnormal individual. Go on. Try to harm someone and you will get a broken nose.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

To be fair though, if I only had unstable fleeting relationships, no fulfilling job, no regular schedule, was constipated as hell, constantly grimy and organized rape orgies, I would be an anxious wreck too.

 

[Tablet County]

Life is shit and I would not have sex with it

You're missing on things.
Scatological things.

House is very cute, but not worth eating a chinaman's ass for.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

I wanna stick my dick in Android raptor’s futa cock’s urethra and impregnate her bladder.

Man Shot at by Cops Who Got Scared by an Acorn

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Fuck niggers!

I thought the point was to not make more of them?

No, not fuck as in sex, fuck as in fuck them over.

 

[Tablet County]

The Bitch of Tits is now threatening felony breast theft on innocent civilians

I don't beleive in the patriarchy, I've been trying to join for years.

(1) Tattoo an upside down cross on your forehead
(2) Read Jon Stewart's "Naked Pictures of famous People"
(3) Cans of stewed tomatoes, drained and rinsed
(4) Breed'em heckin' native punany

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

....

....

....
I'm a man retard.

Not until you stop letting your emotions dictate your behavior, miss.

 

[Keith Kunt]

This is just low quality bait. I look better than any dude in this thread despite being a heroin addict

I'm not on drugs. I mean I'm on suboxone, but that keeps me off of the bad dope.

But yes, I agree, drugs are for losers.

You are so mad about a junkie in the vicinity.

I look good and I'm confident about it.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

if i can make just one more post about the complex and nuanced politics of internet shitposting sites, maybe i'll get a girlfriend

 

[Cheeseknife]

I'm just letting you retards know right now if your post contains the words Ukraine or Russia you're wasting your fucking time.

 

[Overly Serious]

Though the erect genitalia didn’t last long, Russian investigators have accused the teens of “rehabilitating Nazism”

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

unrestrained boobs is rarely sexy, it’s pure slut

 

[Rembrandt]

To conclude this document; I want to use an analogy from Spongebob.

Wubby is Plankton, and the slander is his buckets.

 

[Judd]

Pretty sure that's regular daytime television in Japan.

I'm interested in it for the plot.

I'm pretty sure those are men, so no.

 

[Gentlebastard]

It's not a fetish!
It was a fetieh.
Fucking freaks every time.

I’m so jealous you get to read the thread with fresh eyes and experience 2K pages of autism unchecked.

I swear I could smell the unwashed stench through my screen at points.

In a fair world, a trio of cackling gremlins would live in a mouse hole in Pat's living room, only to come out and start singing War Pigs acapella whenever he starts xeeting about armed conflicts. This is something Pat needs to experience at least daily.

back in my day, you bought your own hooker. you just walked up to that hooker with a firm handshake and demand the STDs

I'm gonna be honest: I'm socially retarded. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, and I'm lucky to have the few long-distance friends I do now.

I can see the guy's there collecting specially crafted waifus like trading cards.

It was pretty melodramatic, I admit. It didn't help that I was flourishing a red magician's cape as I said it.

"I don't like cock" shouldn't be a controversial statement, ever.

We got an update! It gets more insane from here!

wow that is exactly as bad as I expected it to be impressive

 

[Kiislova]

@Gentlebastard I knew that post would end up here. I just knew it.

 

[Super Dilator Duel 3D]

The cosmopolitan crossdressing coomer cries out in pain as he jizzes at us.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

We live in a world where Dynastia is Jesus and we're a bunch of fucking fools.

And yes, it is about time I grew up and started using the shift key

You are under investigation for several puzzle related felonies.

“Dear lord… my allies are retards!”