random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Here at Kiwi Farms, we need the most rigorous proof that you will not have sex with Jackie Singh.

 

[N Space]

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/catler-drama-summarized.184974/post-17969769

Please don't say that nobody likes me, as it's true.

I'm not throwing myself into a woodchipper.

 

[Tablet County]

Timmy boy, it took your dogshit store THREE FUCKING YEARS to add a SHOPPING CART. Don't suddenly try to pretend like you care about the wittle man.

Reading the article made me so autistic I now like trains. Toot toot!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who wants ethically sourced horse cock

 

[Laburnum]

Anyway the 40 minute mark hit and I got to hearing this girl describe her mother’s fart fetish.

 

[ShooterOfCum]

Dear heavenly father
Thank you for giving absolute retards access to the internet
It's really fucking funny
Amen

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.

These dudes need Wahhabism, not the Bible

I came here to make a joke. Instead, what little hope I have for humanity has diminished further. Thanks Kiwifarms!

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

We're gay virgins.

How do you put “Christ is Lord” and “futa addict” in the same bio of your Twitter you use to like porn?

Least degenerate anti-lolicon sperg.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who wants ethically sourced horse cock

 

[Gentlebastard]

This is Facebook tier momscience and you're actively genociding the existence of nice asses by proliferating these dogshit takes.

I...can't really process this logically. He has to know everything he says is absolute shit, right? No one can lack this much self-awareness.

Lolcows, I am going to break all of the sacred Kiwi Laws that were inscribed in crayon on the back of Chris-Chan's first drawing of Sonichu. I am going to tell you how to avoid ever having to worry about us EBIL KIWIFARMERS.
Stop reading the Farms and pretend we don't exist. Your lives will be much happier. Barring that, STOP DOING DUMB SHIT.

Gentlemen no fighting in the war room porno dungeon

I should know better than to try to educate coomers by now.

I could see Pajeets DMing this thing.

The sun is a chud. Billions must tan.

The kiwis hate the YouTube videos I make about Minecraft turtles, but I only called the turtles sexy twice.

 

[TheArtilleryman]

You should be able to stream yourself getting drunk without retards calling the police on you. I can't believe I even have to say this.

 

[SentinentCloud]

A Hate Monster app would be cool, and might help reduce hate. It runs in the background looking for keystrokes. Any time it sees offensive words you have typed like faggot, nigger etc on any app, it appears on screen shaking its head and says "delete that" in a low growly voice. Everytime you type a bad word without deleting it the hate monster gets bigger and angrier.

 

[dick brain]

His dick looks soft and weak just like him.

 

[Rotollo 2]

i require you to calm down and do not be mean to your gay friends

it is my plan to survive the changing tides of the Farms, i will pretend to be a catboy so i can keep posting

 

[Tablet County]

High test low est = hank hill body, high est low test = pixar mom.

 

[Hillary Clinton's Ass]

FELONY SEMEN CRIMES

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

The entire JJBA series is a leftist meme

 

[Black Man Underwear]

I thought that the answer was screaming, schizophrenic niggers. Shucks.

@SandyHooker

Can you shit and sneed at the same time?

 

[Gog & Magog]

The other guy I want to look into is Oppenheimer the thespian diamond Jew, that guy is beyond fishy. His leadership of the Manhattan project is the reason I will not discount the idea that nukes are fake.
"I am become death, the destroyer of worlds." the most fake and Talmudic thing ever said.

 

[barbie meat]

I feel extra sorry for schizophrenics with hallucinations these days. Imagine having barely-controllable visions of mutant Pennywise clowns in horrible technicolor outfits licking their lips in your peripheral vision. And then step on public transit in any major city, wondering in horror why the clown is walking into your sight cone. They've never done that bef- AAAAAAAAHHH!

Spoiler: late/gay

I know I'm posting this super late, but someone just reacted to my post in this thread a couple above this one, and I got reminded of this and how fucking funny it was.

 

[Aunt Carol]

All that rage and frustration, all the shouting, it stems from a surreptitious desire for cock.