random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Law]

Trolling used to be an art, carried out with cunning and finesse. Now lazy fuckers can't even put in the effort to play the long game.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

if you had to jack off to csam to save the world from nuclear winter, would you let the earth die?

He needs to unplug the internet, go outside, go on a run, lift weights, and never look at cat porn again before this becomes a habit.

 

[Pissmaster]

You can't ungrow breasts.

 

[Super Dilator Duel 3D]

I came here to make a joke. Instead, what little hope I have for humanity has diminished further. Thanks Kiwifarms!

How do you put “Christ is Lord” and “futa addict” in the same bio of your Twitter you use to like porn?

Feels like a classic halal thread in here

(Seriously, this is the second time within a MONTH, a user on the Farms has been outed as someone
that wanted to fuck cats, what the fuck)

 

[barbie meat]

if you stupid fucking faggots ruin this most holy of threads by making it into the 16th android raptor debate containment zone, im blasting you all with a curseyehameha and then bitching to null

 

[Pedophobe]

Give him time, I'm sure he'll come up with something else that's stupid/insane.

There are several better looking school shooters and mass murderers. Save your virginity for those instead.

All the stickers in the world won't make me incorrect on this point.

 

[Murun Buchstansangur]

My deposition is apparently over 300 pages long where I said nigger to a cop over 1000 times.

I've been struggling with an addiction to drawn bestiality porn for quite some time now. Although, I've been successfully detoxing on the heinous material.
Fellow Kiwis have been giving me shite about it (rightfully) for the past few weeks. Lambasting me with names such as "Dogfucker".

 

[Meat Target]

"Blacks are food. Not friends."
-Patrick Tomlinson

 

[Gentlebastard]

I hereby introduce the "read another fucking book act"

Any time someone over age 18 refers to real life events using Harry Potter metaphors they are no longer covered by legal protections against assault and murder for the next hour.

Women typically don't become furries, they just become, at worst, vegans. Still annoying, but not life destroying.

Bangalore is abject trash, it is exactly like California. No joke Im being serious.

Harry Potter is just British Naruto.

I bet they still would've passed on "Church Chili" C-rations though. The Japanese wouldn't even feed that to POWs in Burma, it's too sadistic.

Oh wow, I get to be the well akshually woman! Thanks lads!

I'm starting to think the "we brought partners into our home" might have involved clorophorm.

to be fair if these kids were working in coal mines they probably wouldnt be trooning out and acting retarded on the internet

Very masc and androgynous black lace lingerie you have there ma’am

Are you seriously claiming the Nazis were worse than stopping a man in a dress masturbating as teenage girls change?

#stoptransgenocide #transwomenarewomen #fuckterfs #suckmygirldick

OK Mr smartypants lawyer, so raping your mother is now worse than misgendering Chris Chan? No wonder people hate lawyers.

Why did you cut off your dick if you were still just going to fuck women with a dick-facsimile anyway?

It's like the women who shave off their eyebrows only to draw them back on again. Single-digit IQ behavior.

Turns out teenage girls don't like talking about sex with their felon trucker dads

You’ve been told many hundreds of times not to mention the Birthday Paradox. Enjoy the Law of Large Numbers, stalker

Between going full "All fucking niggers must fucking hang" everytime AI is left to its own devices and AI devs having to put in the brakes and/or feed it incorrect data i sadly don't think we will ever get anywhere near anything Skynet. Our cyberpunk future will blow

While it's true, I am a racist, she had no way of knowing that based on our communications.

dear lord of course this faggot arranges books by color

 

[Meat Target]

Dr. Fauci, I beg of you, please activate the 5G towers so the vaxx nanomachines can cull the herd

 

[Rotollo 2]

Niggerjewfaggot1488 donated $2 and says, "NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER."

 

[often puzzled]

just ask for attention on your main account and not your dead cat's Twitter.

 

[Rotollo 2]

This is an insane thing to put in a script about your former found family. Kinda based tho.

Who am I: Charles Xavier? Am I beaming memories of the holocaust into your head?

 

[RACISM]

One of my uncles worked at a Detroit public school and he’s still not racist. I think there’s something seriously wrong with his brain.

 

[Rotollo 2]

For the first time in a long while I'm starting to feel Kiwi Farms fatigue.

 

[CharlesBarkley]

Mr Bean sex jackass

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

You will eat ze people
And you will be happy

Another article about her penis. Nobody ever talks about his vagina

I was cleaning under my bed today and found some vaginal depth! found some more in the cupboard over the stove!

yeah family is literally so bad it involves naming a kid after Atlas Shrugged

I got some bad news for you, sunshine. That whole societal collapse thing ain't gonna work out well for your kind.

A BRITISH colostomy bag.

Full of semen and communism and meth and fentanyl and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Not graphic but they are basically a cylinder on a bird fountain

 

[eatler]

In the words of the great French philosopher
“Fellatio”-Unknown

 

[stupid frog]

lol nigga how are wheelchair attacks real lol, nigga just walk up some stairs lol just tip them out the chair lol

 

[The Rats in the Walls]

We won