random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[CEO of Gay]

The one thing I hate about being a lesbian is I can't suck cock anymore because that'd make me bi. I loved being a cock sucking faggot!

 

[Aunt Carol]

I would find archiving Tiktok so much more tolerable if everyone wasn’t gyrating all the time.

 

[Tablet County]

if I listen to a musical for more than a couple seconds, my flesh start falling off.

Enjoy Ball Prison Stalker child.

 

[internet friend]

Think about it. What's bigger and blacker than Africa? Fucking space.

 

[Gentlebastard]

The shit the Gender Cult have caused in the past decade has caused more pain and misery than fucking Shiro Ishii at Unit 731.
I'm not even exaggerating.

damn if his legal takes aren't the hottest shit this side of a pig manure factory

I am so glad our culture is one of, "Look, but don't touch." It doesn't 100% get rid of the faggotry, but it does keep it to the point we don't hand lolcows a W like this.

Lol, this fat retard even lacks the testicular fortitude to type the word “retard.”

Can someone explain what happened here?

Either a pervert was exposed as a retard, or a retard was exposed as a pervert. Either way, lotta laffs

In this case there is the fatrick dance centred around the angry pig, in which they play the part of the painted harlots all twirling round him trying to get a sniff of his taint while he oinks in rage. Sure its entertaining as fuck for us in the peanut gallery to witness but at the end of the day its also satisfying as fuck knowing im not dancing on stage trying to snort a pig's buttcrack for attention......ok this metaphor has gotten out of hand but the general gist of it is that when it comes to enjoying lolcows, one must always beware becoming part of the show lest you become the next cow on the menu.

Attention faggots and homosexuals and niggers

I'm appearing in this thread far too often for my liking.

The quotings will continue until your sense of humor diminishes.

I remember and miss those halcyon days. Things have gone absolutely to shit since normies got on the Internet.

Josh had the right idea, I really do wish redditors would just kill themselves already. They're already dead inside, why should we have to dedicate resources to keeping alive people that do fucking nothing but eat, shit and goon all fucking day?

remember: through dick, unity.

THERES A MIDGET IN THE COMPOUND

Wait... i'm sorry, but WHAT? Because of all the descriptors you can use for Asain porn, "quiet" is absolutely NOT one of them.

Or um... so I've heard. From friends.

It's not like I have a lot of subscriptions or anything...

 

[Mutthole]

They never expect tongue on the starfish.

@Pilgrim of Grace

 

[Aunt Carol]

Per Google Translate, "feucht" means "moist."

Thanks for the historical take brother, but I'll stick with the much more compelling archetypal narrative.

The "radical act" of not dying and maybe getting railed.

When you’re unemployable, every day is time off.

 

[BirdUp]

I'm too intoxicated for this.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Is that true? If someone cuts off your dick you go to hell? Seems kinda fucked up.

 

[Spud]

you absolute fucking toast sandwich

 

[Local Fed]

The moon has always seemed unnatural to me, almost as if its an observation post of sorts.

You can tell it's nearing summer by the accordion music coming from the gypsy house across the street.

The results are in. Only 5700 people said I'm gay.

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

i honestly cant tell if this is a fetish or gimmick channel, but its dedicated to cartoon characters getting swarmed by bees

Chris says he can't talk about astral spiders because he's worried that other people will "steal his knowledge".

I can't believe Joshua Connor Moon changed his name to "Nonparneoplastic Limbic Autoimmune Encephalitis"

Horse urine? Whats the deal here?

 

[vomitusdeux]

In fact, if I'm a talented queer 2SLGBTPPAP+ artist and I'm told the only commune for me is "near the Arctic," I'll stick to drawing loli porn on Twitter.

I saw a TIM once called Mildred once lmao

Am I missing something? I thought that's how everyone did anal sex.

Your God is in a wheelchair, mine carries a hammer

If this is actually his face, he would be the most autistic fuck in the entire universe.

It has the video where he stomps the diapers in his tub.

Still doesn't explain the fucking roller skates grafted into his feet.

It truly was an amazing day when Hitler came back from the dead just to give us all a huge dopamine hit.

I don't think my autism will allow me to give a fuck about poetry.
Or nigger stories.

How do we know you're not a closeted trump supporter bitch?

There once was a man from Nantucket
He had a porn addiction,
a most serious affliction,
which drove him to a surgeon
who cast no aspersion
when he said "Doc, give me a hole so they fuck it"

There's my poetry entry I like to call "trannies can't write poetry anyone cares about boohoo nigga".

I don't care if they sometimes fuck each other in the ass they're still more human that probably 50% of the global population.

I suppose I'll finish:

"MAGAts could be here" she thought, "I've never been in this house before. There could be MAGAts anywhere." The cool air conditioning felt good against her makeup-caked face. "I HATE MAGAts" she thought. The Daily Show highlight videos reverberated her AirPod, making it pulsate even as the $9 wine circulated through her pounding heart and escalated her (merited) fear of Republicans after dark. "With a journalism degree, you can go anywhere you want" she said to herself, out loud.

Three years ago, she couldn't get a woman to go down on her 'roided out crocopussy so had to resort to hooking up with men and troons

But rewind to a few months ago. A troon user (/u/blue_Winged_yoshi) apparently noticeed some women /r/polyamory users attempting to talk to each other without centering troons. These female thought criminals dared to use the term "cis AFAB" to refer to themselves. VERBOTEN! /u/blue_winged_yoshi posts a rant exhorting polytards to "Do better!"

Did Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo all join a contest to see who can suck the most dicks before the end of the year or something?

Can you imagine having the egotistical delusion that some ordinary "split level" house in a suburb in a "census designated place" in Virginia is a "temple" and "holy"?

You don't understand.

Watching furries burn each other alive is what gives me power.

Imagine waking up one morning and realizing drawing furry scat porn comms is how you pay your rent.

So you're telling me the e-celeb furry known for having a scat fetish and a failed lawsuit isn't good with money?

>$90-195 soda
>scat porn
>$8000 in debt

Only Furfags could aspire to this level of absurdity when it comes to their degenerate behaviors.

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

What's up with bullshitting history and using the number 6 million, anyway?

 

[ForTheHoard]

I have been getting tortured, bullied, and fucking victimized on this coin flip for days.

 

[stupid frog]

Yea, they are affectionate wee guys when you don't snatch and murder their babies and generally auschwitz their comrades

 

[AltisticRight]

The only reason a whale would want to communicate with Jackie is to call her fat.

 

[Murun Buchstansangur]

Sorry hun, but my days of cock sucking are over, I've been muffdiving for 4 years now, physical or cyber. Just ask 64% of the women on here, who's pussy I have digitally ate

 

[Aunt Carol]

I kind of want to defend hate filled mutants here.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

They have lots of dogs I wouldn't even think of instantly vaporizing with industrial lasers.