random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[everybody in Portugal]

I need to be rekeita level drunk to read this

Edit: I have decided to do heroin after reading this

I know that this isn't exactly an NPR-listening crowd, so if your sensibilities are offended, pretend I found it on Stormfront or something.

They said that King Charles II of Spain was sterile, and yet, I can clearly see his descendants every time I open the tranny thread

None of us are free, until all of us are free to call someone a worthless tranny faggot in COD.

We are in the upsidedown when SissyCumSlut478 is the voice of morality.

Thank god she didn’t say the common English idiom of, Kill yourself faggot, that would have led to a horrible misunderstanding!

 

[Meat Target]

If the first thought you have when an historic event occurs is "I can't wait to see how [lolcow name here] reacts to this it's going to be hilarious."

You might just be a Kiwi.

 

[Vyse Inglebard]

 

[Admiral Throbnelius]

Feel free to call me a retard for not inspecting an obvious loli in detail. I specialize in comically obese female dragons.

It's true, I want to fuck a real life green dragon.

Your side wants to fuck real life minors.

We are not the same.

 

[Meat Target]

"Accept my confession, oh Lord, breaker of chains. I could not rationalize how someone made in your likeness could be allowed to fake mental illness, smear shit on hotel walls, feed his parents poison, deny his mother oxygen, force his elderly father to clean up his literal shit, stalk innocent women, unwittingly force his family into his fetishes, sexually assault random people, and lust after toddlers.

But in your grace you decided to send him to Cleveland. And if that wasn't bad enough... he will also die cold and homeless surrounded by african crackheads. Amen."
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Anime haters are just jealous fat woman who can't diet. Anime figures are not even unrealistic. Most women between 20-30 in eastern Europe are a boobjob away from them.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

Becoming a certified Mother Fucker is the deepest cover you could possibly have in the undercover intelligence world.

No wonder James Bond drinks so heavily

 

[Pat's Pointer Finger]

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I've never done anything humiliating, stalker. Enjoy prison.

 

[The Un-Clit]

@Bassomatic sez:

A lady who shows you how to fold napkins is more hood nigga than you with your tear drop tat lmao.

 

[Gentlebastard]

The line made me laugh so I reiterated it to share my mirth in my community you joyless antisocial troglodyte

I don't call them transgender. I use less stigmatizing terms like "mentally imbalanced" or "freak of nature".

Some of you niggers have never had a wife bring you a plate unasked for while you're in your workshop, and it shows.
I pray you find someone to love you enough to pre-cook you meals. Genuinely.

Nigger I literally returned from the fucking dead and to the fucking thread to announce this and was typing it out this fuckin second but you just had to go and ruin it for me

If only we had a way to harness pure seethe for power generation. We'd never have to mine coal or drill for oil again.

I just read the news and came RUNNING to this thread.

Get ready guys, the next days are gonna be glorious!

Literally cut my break from the farms short for it. I could not miss this moment in porcinity

Are these the moobs you're looking for?

I am pretty well versed in jap pornography

If the first thought you have when an historic event occurs is "I can't wait to see how [lolcow name here] reacts to this it's going to be hilarious."

You might just be a Kiwi.

Fucking hell, for people whose entire existence revolves around bullshit, you’d think they could figure out how to lie.

Italians are inflexible and they like the way things are, so if you challenge them on anything, they bark like startled dogs.

In conclusion, avoid India.

It's pretty damn weird but with the mainstream media latching on to a new doomsday current thing what seems like every 15 minutes or so I'm kind of nostalgic for ye olden days when it was just the global threat of thermonuclear annihilation a lot of the time. Feels sort of quaint even.

I thought he just had remarkable nipples.

 

[Hitman One]

Those niggers deserved it. I didn't even read the article.

 

[Advanced Garbage]

I have made my stances on loli porn, VERY CLEAR.

@Rotollo 2, quoting a youtubefag.

 

[Oxyjen]

Thereby, if you post unspoilered NSFW unmarked AI generated revenge pornography of the Vice President of the United States, you have broken at least three rules in one go and I don't have the fucking patience for you.

 

[grenouille crétine]

I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to get turned into a hamburger, I don't want to be reincarnated, I don't want to die, I don't want to die...

 

[The Un-Clit]

If I ever sit next to any crowdstrike leadership on a flight I'm going to order the chicken and barf on your lap, you cost cutting corporate fuckwads.

 

[barbie meat]

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Kiwifarms, a KNOWN TRANS HATE WEBSITE, is defending an LGBTQAI+ . Who attacked me unfairly because I called them "Weird." which means cool on Urban Dictionary.

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

you, too, will develop an opinion on women's feet whether you want one or not.

 

[PhoBingas]

i will attempt to invoke the dark powers of magichan to make this happen immediately

 

[Arcade Gannon]

when they do have money again she wants to get diagnosed with autism

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Would you people PLEASE not kill yourselves

Modern medicine is currently fixated on changing the genders of children, so excuse me if I'm skeptical of their ability to keep teeth from growing inside my asshole with their new wonder drug.

Procedurally generated pussy-teeth gynecology challenge level: impossible

I establish dominance over my coworkers by T-posing as I urinate.

I'M GONNA FUCK A DUDE!

How often do you compare dick sensitivity with your friends?

Fecal accident content is surprisingly common,

Yeah no wonder everyone in the political spectrum is somewhere on the autism spectrum

I'm here to watch people die, not witness a couple furries arguing about whose turn it is to be on top.

even despite Null and Hitler's best efforts

Nigga it's a clitoris not a particle accelerator.

Do you guys think phantom penis size corresponds to gun ownership too?

I find the obsession with anal sex over vaginal sex wild.

Post your cock cage so we can judge for ourselves.

Since I too destroy cervixes I am rebranding myself as a waterslide.

clean dick tastes like avocado

until a veteran sergeant leaned forward and asked them a crucial question: “What’s your favorite Pokémon character?”

I don’t get why other women find Dollar Tree Patrick Bateman attractive.

Kiwifarms, the harassment website where (anime) child porn apologists, attention seeking trannies and gay furry coprophiliacs hang around to argue about how much they want to rape each other.

For God's sake just sext off site.

What's the next DM leak? Doorknob fuckers?

i left them when Ashley stopped being active and because someone started posting anal porn and Goatse regularly

This thread is a compendium of autism.

I feel assaulted in my most private and personal of place: the kiwifarms DMs

Didn't you share your nudes in DMs? Maybe you shouldn't be throwing stones... just saying.

kiwifarms is my favorite social media platform
nudes in bio

This all reminds me that I got invited to a group DM once, I left it immediately.
Wish I stayed in, maybe I could get banned and email null about nigger dick too.

@Kamui Why you look like gay Meatloaf?

Thank you progressive Kiwi Farms user RACISM.

I'm going to rape you. (For legal purposes this is a joke. )

I always prayed to God to grow a penis

If I find out there's a rape dungeon I'm not invited to, I will be very upset.

Did you just spoiler tag a 50 year old film?

Unpopular opinion, but drinking with fatties you meet offline is better than sexting with fatties on a gossip site for nudes.

go back to africa you korean power bottom

the faggot gay, not the lesbian gay

I'm gold star asexual with a 2d waifu (m. 2019.) A year before, I'd had to be surgically deflowered to get a cyst removed. 80s baby, got exposed to an overdose of capitalist porn in the 90s as a primary schooler. (Death to capitalism.)

The last place I thought I have to defend my knowledge of esoteric biblical texts was on the Farms yet here I am getting raked over the coals.

It's Autism and Niggers, not Articles and Happenings.

I read this as "Molest Station" as if it's some retarded PlayStation clone.

Where's Joseph Stalin? I want to be crew on this helicopter ride.

No I'm not incompetent because I'm a woman on my period. I'm incompetent because I'm a retard.

I'm not even on my period, you're just a niggerfaggot.

Kiwi Farms now officially has a better uptime record than most of the rest of the world.

The "It's gay" thing is so retarded, i assume every man masturbates, if you can handle touching your cock without turning into a faggot you can handle touching your bunghole

The Wandering Jew is a really pretty weed. Sorry boys, I'm on team-Jew for this battle.

We can always count on our man @Penis Drager 2.0 to bring us the best penis related content!

 

[Gutless]

Chicken sex is its own reward