random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[The Un-Clit]

(i'm sorry you know I love ya but I had to)

Hey, you probably traumatized a few dozen more Kiwis foolishly curious enough to follow the link all the way to This post with the video in question linked so it's all good by me. The subsequent eye-gouging and rageposting is now on you, fam!

 

[WonderWino]

Are you an unhappy lesbian? Tired of black eyes? Ask your doctor to prescribe you Tricoxagain!"

 

[Gog & Magog]

call the probate judge, someone's getting declared retarded today (it aint me)

- @henstepl

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

(I am a gook) so I'll probably start doing my hair like a kung fu master or something with a goofy bun and a chopstick.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Null is bitterly autistic.
His autism has the sour taste of genuine disorder rather than elaborate wit.

 

[DickMain]

Nobody's just 'accidentally' pissing in their partners mouth. You've got to try really fucking hard to make it work.

This sentence out of context had me busting up pretty bad I can't lie

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

If I didn’t think Vito should kill himself on livestream for being a disgusting pedo then this comic would’ve made me want that too

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

Personally, I just respond to women disagreeing with me by calling them cunts and whores, like a civilized person. After all, they can respond by insulting my penis.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

It's a sudden unexpected social interaction that puts them directly on the spot where they have to improvise and socialize on the fly. The phone call is an unpleasant relic of "meatspace" - a method of connection dripping with stress and angst for today's avid turn-based communicator. There is no opportunity to curate one's image or edit one's response. It's a zoomy-zoom zoom to the anxiety moon.

It is, what the kids would say, a teachable moment. Big globo homo corporation gets egg on face, stupid person who signed up for reality TV has to do humiliation ritual, the world learns about a vulnerable species nobody had ever heard of before, and everyone agrees to not be naughty again. Everyone wins! Except the bird that got ate of course.

I am using my powers of toilet witchcraft to counteract them.

The heartbreak of a generation.

"We do these things not because you are easy, but because I am hard."

Someone sued a fat retard into slavery? I'm a fat retard! I could be next!

thoughts and prayers with the residents of fagler county

Cat carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of box wine and when the drains finally scab over, all the foids will drown. The accumulated filth of all their junk food and libshit politics will foam up about their waists and all the whores will look up and shout "Have sex with us!"… and I'll whisper "no."

They are married to God, and, as Jesus' existence can attest, He lays pipe.

When I was in school, there was this one kid who made bomb threats every week. It was awesome because we got to go home early. When they caught him, they demanded to know why he was doing it, and he said it was to get more time off school. Kids back in my day at least had reasons that made sense for when they did fucked up shit. Now-a-days it's like kids are being evil specifically to be evil.

LIES!! FUCKING LIAR!!

NO TRAIN ENTHUSIAST WOULD HURT TRAINS GET ME MY GUN GODDAMMIT!!!!

It is rumored that actual autistic train enthusiasts have formed a mob and are calling for him to be, after a fair trial with lots of train photos displayed, publicly executed.

Stop saying 'freaking', this situation requires a minimum of 6 'fuck's.

55,000 cat ladies, 30,000 lesbos, 20,000 prostitutes, 5,000 trolls, and 50,000 trannies strong.

Coom is literally at the foundation of our hierarchy of needs.

my uncle also trains man he is driver. sometimes he get death threats but never rape. stay strong trains is hard job.

Fuckin' fuck fuckitty, fuck, fuck, fuck.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

Somebody finally fixed the ending of The Giving Tree

did they hang a nigger from it?

No, but they should

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Much better thread than the one I shat out in like five minutes.

 

[Pedophobe]

Imagine the smell

 

[Law]

!!!NO GAY OPS !!!​

 

[Day of the Cope]

I want to rape children and it's societys fault.

 

[CEO of Gay]

Oh honey, you're due for a whole rainbow of Babby's First Shapes.

 

[Axiom.]

I still maintain that he looked at his top tipper leaderboard while he was whacking off during the incident.

The Playstation music really sets the scene that might've been true

 

[WTBOnlineFather]

Their code flows like the great ganges river. A torrent of shit that one day you will find yourself upstream of without a paddle heading right towards the jeet rapids.

 

[Oliver Onions]

So he's going to show up in Italy and tell them his plan is to start a pedophile colony in Sicily. I'm sure that'll go over well.

ETA:

Needless to say Israel is big mad

 

[Rotollo 2]

I'm going to E-Worship you out if spite. Fuck You

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

Andrew Ditch said (in his videos):

I pooped my diaper. And I asked my brother Joe, "Hey Joe, did you really smell the poop when you woke me up this morning?" And you know what his answer was? "No." How am I not having anxiety?

If you want me to eat poop, I need you to subscribe to my channel, get me 1 million subscribers plus.