random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Spectate]

i dont piss myself ““constantly””

 

[Big Nasty]

taking pics of unflushed poops at best buy

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Go on, use money to eat or make your sex doll, tell the numbers to assemble it or your hot pockets.

She has a proboscis monkey pussy.

Freaks raping corpses in the subway, helicopters falling apart over the Hudson, monkey trafficking and it is not even Friday!

I'd have to see the monkey before passing judgement.

The man says on his website that he's not here to teach you how to suck a dick.

Come for the inevitable murder-suicide, stay for the Salad.

"Reality is, Without Exaggeration, White Supremacist Propaganda"

 

[Axiom.]

STOP SPECULATING ABOUT MY PUSSY
I HAVE ALREADY HAD TO ASK YOU GUYS TO STOP

 

[Space Police]

It would be funny if Null starts banning serious faggots. Closest thing for unemployed stickerfags/serious fags getting fired like real life and life-ruination for them.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

. It's like she set her broiler to Auschwitz and took a nap.

She will live forever in the nutritional information of Pillsbury crescent rolls.

And now she farts apparently

And then I tried to find that "sensible chuckle" reaction gif, but instead I found some gore I mislabled back in 2014

women with tig ol biddies

I guess collectors could buy it and keep it sealed in a bag, where the scratch and sniff fart smells will probably fester over time and knock out the next poor soul who opens it with liquid ass.

all I remember of YouTube circa 2005 was terrible skits and Runescape videos with Paralyzer by Finger Eleven and a massive watermark for unregistered hypercam 2

Spongebob laughs like an annoying lesbian

Okay its a song about Tits I take it back this is terrible

where I carried my plastic tote full of worms around like they were emotional support worms, at least

Sounding is for pussies, real men ram their cock into a wasp nest for the ultimate full-bodied high.

OH... okay, don't look this up, this was a joke that I didn't realize was a real thing, of which there are videos...

There is no other explanation other than the unspent semen in your nuts is imbuing you with herculean strength

 

[Spectate]

STOP MISGENDERINF MY CAT

 

[Tablet County]

I'm not drawing a penis on a watermelon

It's only a drawing of an immature watermelon

The only reason I haven't told my mom about kiwifarms is because I don't trust her opsec.

 

[NerdShamer]

stop it
i’ve given you enough
you have seen ENOUGH of my bathtub
whats next you want to see my fuckinf closet??
NOt HAPPENING

 

[CaddestSlown]

"JD, this "Joshua Connor Moon" guy just called me a stupid orange nigger on X...I'm going to do EVERYTHING in my power to help this man now!"

 

[Dr. Butt]

Why would a bird need a phone? Why would they need a job? How are they buying this smart TV? I don’t recall any of those questions actually being answered.

I'm questioning if the Jew actually fears the Samurai.

 

[Axiom.]

Nope. It was for me because at that time I just wanted a drawing. I did the mistake of thinking there wouldn't be retards like you that would think something innocent would be pornographic.

Congrats, you outed yourself. Pedo Zoophile.

 

[Thé au lait]

If you model yourself as the diametric opposite of this man, your chances of obtaining a shag will rise dramatically.

 

[Tablet County]

Bro I play Paradox games. Instead of making friends I learned who the Habsburgs were.

 

[Spectate]

Bro I don't jack off to furries I jack off to black women.

Sure you do.

Sure.

Not even your mom would believe that.

 

[Gravemind]

Does that mean you'll give people you know away to the police for photographing themselves bathing their cub pets? Interesting.

 

[Dr. Butt]

>be me
>be fresh college Freshman
>get into college on sports scholarship
>meet team
>discover mid-life bald man in locker room
>can't say anything because UK hate laws
>can't leave team because scholarship
>get clubbed in the back of the head one night by tranny
>dragged to Mr.Blobby's rape dungeon

 

[IKOL]

Maybe. Maybe I'll piss myself maybe. Maybe shit and cum.

 

[THE SUPREME ONION]

IT'S SEMEN. HE IS ON HIS BACK BLUSHING WITH SEMEN OOZING OUT OF HIS ASS. HE HAS A HUMAN COCK. IT'S NOT EVEN A DOG COCK.

 

[IKOL]

"Today I learned furry child porn hits a nerve with people, what a bunch of libtards" - @FakeAFClausMystery