random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Admiral Throbnelius]

The feeble minded European American simply can't comprehend how much pure fucking INTELLIGENCE it takes to jack off to Ganondorf's cock, while a banana is slowly shoved up his ass. It takes true, undeniable talent.

 

[Spectate]

Is it just a coincidence that the hole in his neck is the exact same size and shape of a raped cat's asshole?

 

[VeteranOfTheRetardWars]

Im drunk but i redspet the grift og birnh a bifgoot expert yjay's all

 

[Tablet County]

That shark got them fakeass fuckin' JAYS though.

Actually, a proper black/AMOLED theme would be a nice addition

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

it's a pleasure to be here with you all on page... green?

 

[polyester]

The child in me demands its birth. Immediately.

 

[Tablet County]

My brain is telling me to rate powerlevel but my heart is telling me to rate feels

 

[Oliver Onions]

We are now at the point that three kids only exist because of their father's having a feud with this site.

 

[Hamstirer]

Stay out of my life and my pee hole, demons

 

[Tablet County]

They would be the Kwisatz Haderach of lolcows known simply as the Krosseyed Halolcow, destined to have all the pronouns and plot armor that all lolcows have without any other purpose than to be milked for the lulz to death

 

[Gentlebastard]

I can see her ankle, what a whore!

"Don't worry, it's not shit, it's cum"

e-scooters are 10x more fun to drive drunk than my car

Sometimes when things like this happen, I can't avoid thinking God is kind of a dick sometimes.

"How could we have known that Bi Xi Bang Ti Zao Wu Fu Li Lie Lo was a Chinese spy?"

"It's not that I am suicidal, it's just that I can't stop thinking about how much I want to die."

who was that physicist in the 90s who deliberately wrote essays full of gibberish for philosophy magazines in order to prove they would publish anything so long as it was incomprehensible enough to sound smart

From what I understand there are two sides. The side who gets cheez wiz , and the side that will stab you if you ask for cheez wiz.

He whom the gods would bring low, they first raise up. That way the fall is much greater. Give him a big chunk of Milwaukee's money. And watch the milk flow.

I would be nice. I'd take his glasses off before I flushed his head down the toilet.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

congrats kiwis you have somehow managed to make mass debates into a horny retirement home

There's no random_text quote anymore, why even live?

 

[Tablet County]

There's no random_text quote anymore, why even live?

This isn't the first time the random text has died. Give it a few, it'll be back.

 

[Pedophobe]

This isn't the first time the random text has died. Give it a few, it'll be back.

At least Internet Tough Guys somehow survived this round.

QOTW:

The site is going to change and flicker as you use it. That's expected.

Kids in This Japanese Town Collect Pokemon-Style Cards Featuring Local Middle-Aged Men

 

[Aunt Carol]

The modalities that he has tried to alleviate his back pain have been very, very limited. Limited mostly to being a whiny bitch.

I stand strongly in favour of bald, bearded Jake grabbing people and telling them that they’re trans like him.

"HELP! I'M BEING BESIEGED BY LESBIAN RAPE GANGS!"

 

[Solomon Bundy]

Allah è un frocio e Maometto si fa scopare dai negri.

 

[vomitusdeux]

I bet the ditch would stink.

She got tits like a jennfer a jay drawing.

“I love relish, I love relish, I love relish”

If you arrest him, there's a very real chance he's going to shit his pants in the car. That would be bad enough to clean up, but he's gonna be hard the whole time, too, and babbling away in that fucking voice. Do you want that in the back of your car?

he has pictures of the wendy's mascot pooping into icecream cups.

I'm actually diagnosed with autism and happen to have a humiliation kink

All he will have is a teddy bear, his ear muffs, and maybe a diaper to shit in.

NIGGA SOUP

What did you find so enticing about Bowser's cock?

Do they draw Gannondorf that hairy that they let users post him to the furry site? Jesus Christ.

There's literally no difference between jumping on a Goomba's head in Super Mario Bros. and raping an entire family in Rapelay. Entirely indistinguishable.

I already have fent out on the porch like a fresh apple pie on a sunny day, waiting for it to be boofed like the American Dream says it is or something.

Hush, child. The adults are discussing your incontinence.

Offical KF piss talk and UTIs thread

i dont fuck bathtub shrimp

STOP SPECULATING ABOUT MY PUSSY
I HAVE ALREADY HAD TO ASK YOU GUYS TO STOP

Please don't ask the girl with the cognitive capacity of an 8 year old to show pussy.

I feel really gross. I might go take a bath in my non-shrimp infested bathtub.

The thread is on piss-based life support

Who needs the Death Note when you have the Death Master File?

>Not wanting to fuck dogs is virtue signaling

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

Man, I don't miss being young and retarded. Old and retarded is far more comfy.

 

[CallmeCicada]

No child. You have eternal life and salvation, enjoy heaven, blessed child.

 

[Hamstirer]

There's a difference between Good Ol' Boys and Trailer Park Boys. Ohio is an overgrown Sunnyvale.