random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Windy Moors]

Didn't know this site had a point system, just like Reddit!

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

God, it's some kind of Semitic hybrid optimized for child molestation

the spider keeps you safe, that's why he needs he big knife

"NOOOO THE PENIS A METAPHORE FOR CAPITALISM!!!"

Maybe Ghost is trying to build up the courage to torture his ass with a blowtorch but just can't put it into words ◕‿◕

If you want to cry, watch Black Beauty or Johnny Knoxville getting hit in the nuts. You'll have a better time.

Every day at 8 pm we have to look at gay porn or Hitler will come back to life

I tend to get grease on my glasses when I eat fried chicken, but I like to think that's because I'm retarded and not because I'm male.

Like I'm not sure what she thinks monkeys should be doing, trading in ETF's and opening bubble tea stalls?

I cried, you crewed, we all crode

I don’t even want to think about the ergonomics of this.

Andrew Tate is a retarded thumb-based life form who is also a sex trafficker and is someone you’d be an idiot to take life advice from. .

This man's name is Xaq. X A Q. Like a character from a shitty sci fi novel. And no, he's not a pooner. His parents did that to him on purpose.

It tastes like you'd imagine radiation tasting like

Because all the cheese money went to sucking dick.

You should install a Neuralink, hack it, download your consciousness and preside over a new era of internet shitposting like in Lawnmower Man

Like opening the window and shagging the night.

This temple hates anime.

The problem with this advice is that he will eventually have to go back inside

Saint Joan of Arc is a patron to those who hear voices, those who hate the english, Ultranationalist, foie gras enjoyers and all those who murder foreigners

Bring back Neanderthals. Also bring back Hitler so we can stop bickering about useless shit like "woke" and instead start arguing about whether or not we should torture tiny little clones of hitler.

GIVE ME A DWARF ELEPHANT SO I CAN PET IT

Both of them had their rectum enlarged.

You used to have to wait around a couple of months for the scumbag that knocked you up to 'go out for smokes' but thanks to technological progress women can now become single moms INSTANTLY!

I mean I'd rather have flying cars, but oh well.

my team lead wants me to image my own PC to use like I'm a fucking viking who needs to forge his own battle-axe.

It's the carnal desire to see your enemies thrown into the snake pit but gayer.

Opinion removed from bin, doused in lighter fluid, discarded again and set on fire

Anyone perusing my search history is going to equal parts baffled, horrified and amused

load of woke numpties and grifters from Norf Landann trying to be 'anti establishment' whilst having names like Tabitha, Rupert and Henry munching down genderfluid tofu

Shame that they'll just die sad and titless once their time in the sun soon expires

There's no fix to this problem that doesn't involve either a time traveling device or a hitman

Oy! do you have a loisense for that vagoina?

we don't even get quarterly penis flattening anymore they extended the seasons so it's four-monthly flattenings

 

[Smokeski]

The Art Community has spoken. NEITHER OF THEM ARE THE SAME. Lambydance owes me a public apology. and I want it on Reddit so I can link it.

 

[Forcey Funtime]

And I won't! I'm saving titposting for divorce

 

[Blarmed&Dangerous]

"i put my cock into @The Judean People's Front 's asshole" and it would be very easy to get an AI to write that.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

♪♫ "Come out ye crack and tan, come out and fight chat like a man!" ♫♬

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

As per tradition you are required to jump off a roof upon entry to this website

you fucked up
you were supposed to act like a retard in the first post.

You are required to post hands and feet. This is for security purposes.

Nice butthole beanie btw

"Okay well I think Medic might've been a nazi"
NOOO NOOO NOOO YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT ABOUT MY FAMILY FRIENDLY GAY SEX GAME

tumblr has suddenly decided that i want to see tf2 yaoi on my dashboard.

 

[Meiwaku]

Meow (hard r)

trombonista please dont ban me

I'm aware of my deficiencies as a human.
My personality is twisted in various ways, and I have every complex imaginable.

No need. Everyone on the internet has a penis. Especially the women

4chan is the equivalent of hobos ranting on the bus. The hobo always exists, but the bus gives him the place to rant. Sometimes we want to be that hobo. Sometimes we need that bus. But unlike a real bus, an online community that has that critical mass of listeners who will engage you back can't be made, it simply comes to be.

This is probably my favorite one

At least if I get banned here, I'll be called a faggot by Null instead of private reasons I'll never know, and I'll move on to somewhere else.

Hi I'm just here for the argument about who is more reddit, 4chan or kiwi farms. I feel like we really should hammer out this answer as soon and productively as possible.

I think kiwi forces me to post better stuff which I like. But I also like to shitpost or share random stuff on 4chan. For example I took a shit 10min ago. Normally I would go to /int/, go in a random country general and say that I took a shit. I cant do this here.

rapeape and i know youre on here reading this youre a turbo nigger, a hyperion super omega nigger, the apex of niggerlicious niggertry in the absolute niggertopia we call earth, 4chan getting niggered was your fault because you were too niggerbrained to update the site, rapeape is a fitting username for you you baboon ape niggerfaggot

My favorite part of the 4chan migration has been the refugees and Null getting to talk to each other after living apart for decades. It's like the Berlin Wall except autistic.

Who the fuck is null

Unusable schizophrenia only comprehensible if you were exposed to iPad Elsa rapes Spiderman videos as a toddler and given adderall in elementary school.

If there is gonna be something new I don't want it to look like 4chan because it will be hollow and fake. I want to move forward, and if it doesn't happen then I will fucking touch grass and change the world in to my own 4chan by normalizing saying nigger. I will go to the niggiest noggiest Chicongo hood and scream out nigger. I will teach kindergarteners about the scariest darkest gorilla niggers in Africa I will go to space and show the ayy lmaos the nigger word. I will be racist outside of /b/ and there is nothing tranny jannies can do about it. NIGGER

Many users don't want their [hobbiest specific topic thread] inundated with pictures of cobson and a man's harry asshole.

 

[Lords Greatsword]

This actually checks out since the only way you could make me program in JavaScript is if you lobotomized me.

having a smartphone is like carrying a jew in your pocket.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

The choice made of defending their fetish is to put an all black bumper sticker with a demon worshipper threatening violence and insulting you. Only the truest and most honest of wahmen, right there.

NIGGERS! SHITCOCK!

Sorry just had to say that.

Does the farms have a section on how to summon a succubus? That's basically /x/ 101 and required for a real replacement I would say.

That's pretty gay.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Imagine not being allowed to be racist on 4chan.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

I would be in heaven if my job was to be a prosecutor or policeman specifically assigned to cases like these. It'd be just like being a moderator on a drama webforum on the internet. Ban everyone and then hit them with a bludgeon for maximum entertainment.

Since quoting is broken right now, I don't even need to check if anyone's quoted this one yet:

Sorry for the ranting and blogposting. I plan on deleting this account soon anyway.

 

[ConsentAccidentVictimNo98]

I gave myself schizophrenia so I could believe I worthy of pussy

 

[CaddestSlown]

1) That's not true.
2) You're Chinese.

I have deported my melanin back to Africa!

I am WHITE!

 

[Oliver Onions]

While he may have lost fights against old women, vegetables and now his own imagination, we shall think upon him every time we see a pregnant woman drinking.

 

[assigned Karen at birth]

"it takes effort to keep my sphincter closed and my urethra from leaking. my brain does not see my penis. it thinks there's a vagina there.. the sensation is maddening, like ghost limb syndrome.

"this statement will now be ridiculed by psychopaths."

 

[Gentlebastard]

Violent homeless tend to be a lot nicer to people carrying firearms for some reason.

"I know it will be worth the wait!"

It will not.

Trannies invoke an uncanny valley-type fear response in me. It’s amazing how even with HRT, tits, and a fauxgina, it took milliseconds for my brain to respond “warning warning rogue male detected! He has tucked his cock back to trick you and bash your head in with a rock!”

I thought I was going to puke. Sometimes I hope God is watching and keeping score. Some people neeed Jesus.

Hahaha ginger anagrams are funny.

I'd posted this in the other racism thread, totally forgot this thread existed.

What kind of monster wants to drop off their kids and give them a hug and kiss on the way to work?

Everyone's a thug until they get jumped by a flat earther and hear "I'm gonna take you to the edge."

 

[DickMain]

I'm slow, can you convert that into microwave time?

 

[A Real Munson]

Oh fuck you timed it exactly with Nick talking about April on stream

I'm gonna fucking cum

 

[Aunt Carol]

Don't compare Null to Jesus on Easter, bro.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

What are you guys going to do for Easter? I'm going to eat an entire rotisserie chicken.