random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Pedophobe]

Make everything about sex and rope unwitting internet strangers into it.

All my niggas better be archiving everything:

Laugh or log off.

 

[The Lаughing Man]

Best thread on there. You are all retarded.

I can do this forever. I've done this for a really, really long time. Drunk, sober, whatever.

Holy shit, how AWESOME did this sound in your head? Did you pop out of your room and give your Mom a high five???

NOW HOLD ON RIGHT THERE! This is a scandalous accusation.

 

[Pendulous Dong]

Got an open guinea pig area with no bottom in it so the carpet soaked up the urine and feces and there was give me pig feces on everything and Rusty razor blades inside the bathroom.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

I've been told repeatedly by the cops that I have to wear clothes or I'll be arrested for crimes against humanity.

 

[HTTP Error 404]

Im sexually attracted to this news

 

[SNEED.EXE]

Will this cause people to start hoarding pennies just in case some penny collector market appears?

Nah. there's WAY too many for them to reach an appreciable value during your life

I heard about this months ago and got 10 dollars worth. Rolls of them bitches. I'm going to be rich on the collectors market in a few years LMAO

 

[Tablet County]

Bog #50

I really wanted to kill myself.

a few meatballs spawning and rolling down very slowly.

holy fucking semper fidelis to all are armed forces

It's like the Cinemassacre reddit but with 200 percent more girlcock.

I don't care who his great great great grandfather was. That doesn't unrape a cat.

If ricardo starts mastrubating on this thread im out

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Graphic designers can at least launch a Patreon and start drawing furry porn. Architects are just fucked.

Yes, putting a fleshlight in a taxidermied raccoon is not art. It's SOMETHING, but it's definitely not art.

 

[CallmeCicada]

Do you think his balls are as widely spaced as his eyes?

 

[Gentlebastard]

THIS NIGGA PRETENDING TO BE A JANNY

This is one of the few times I want the Spanish Inquisition to come back.

I hate lip filler and it's consequences (for my penis) so goddamn much.

I like their honesty when they say they will steal resources meant for vulnerable people to continue their fetish.

"Deputy Sweet Cheeks"? Are you fucking with us?

Mate a dildo with a fleshlight, and dispense with humans altogether.

Part of the appeal in making fun of other nonwhites is that they are polite society's sacred cows, and there's an element of excitement in being transgressive and actually saying the Emperor is naked; that's why the word "nigger" is the forbidden fruit of the English language.

What a cursed fucking family. And no the kid isn't alright, he's just got regular brain worms instead of super-AIDS brain worms.

7 am and my day is already ruined

I think the healthiest thing in this is the silicone mold

 

[Aunt Carol]

Whatdaya mean Lucas doesn't have his finger on the pulse of international trading relationships and how they affect the intergenerational dating scene?

Diagnosis: Fujo.

 

[y a t s]

Or I guess Kiwifarms is gonna be very surprised when they find out I'm actually not an abusive pedophile.

I kind of feel like less heinous accusations have been found to be definitively defamatory, substantially financially so.

Either sentence works on its own.

 

[Lurkerish Kandor]

that's OK, we can't all be born with IQs above a Keno Number.

 

[Free Dick Pills]

"Fuck dude" -Bossmanjack's last words

Maybe the real squirts were all the bossmen we jacked along the way.

 

[Tablet County]

first second in and we were already orbin'

 

[CansOfCant]

Maybe the real Community Happenings was the Prison we Enjoyed along the way

 

[Spectate]

BESIDE A FUCKING PAPA JOHNS.

 

[Cnidarian]

For all I've been a fan of this series, this is genuinely the first time I've seen someone depict Goku's pubic hair as turning super saiyan with him.

 

[CaddestSlown]

Italians are white but that doesn't mean I have to like them.

>This is my co-worker, Steve-
>DON'T LABEL OUR RELATIONSHIP, IT'S FASCIST! Also, wanna have an orgy in the playground later?

 

[Aunt Carol]

Nothing warm my hearts more than seeing a beautiful woman become an abomination or a beautiful man become an eunuch.

Was Daniel wearing the ceremonial unironed shirt and scruffy jeans dictated by custom?