random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Aunt Carol]

My cat eats plastic and paper so this is false.

I may be late and gay, but this writer is retarded and gay.

 

[Ed Special]

Thank you, Auntie.

Thread tax

You made your Gamergate bed, now get fucked in it

 

[Dr. Butt]

i knew a guy for a long time who was completely fuckin obsessed with disney. idfk where he got the money for it but he had like whole ass rooms in his house dedicated to disney dolls and ride memorabilia and whatever, he even had a disney tattoo (a subtle one but still). he was a tough looking guy/easy guy to piss off and always snappy, youd never suspect that he was into disney at all. hes got spinal damage now which has nothing to do with disney (unless he like fuckin flew off the matterhorn or something) but i dont know how to end this

 

[sex haver]

From here.

 

[Dr. Butt]

>RAPEOCAUST NOW

 

[Glory To Arztotska]

No I will NOT marry the flatchested redditor who always tips her fedora about religion, yes I WILL marry the psycho mommy pope with hips and big tits.

 

[The Noise]

Unironically, suicide is the only escape for us now. There is nothing left to look forward to and nothing left to live for. Dystopia is all that awaits us from now until the end of time

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

DSP hides his expenses and income through a very well known accounting term called "Being a fucking retard"

 

[Mound Dweller]

Casual gooning implies the existence of ranked competitive gooning

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Every day I thank god that I can rest safe in knowing I am beyond the cutoff age for potential "ghost pussy and no butthole" status.

 

[pleasegoaway]

I’m not saying I agree with the murder/scat/torture fanfic posters

But god damn it I understand

 

[Gentlebastard]

Fuck you, I was JUST about to make a wisecrack about putting the threat of keelhauling in the EULA

If there is one lesson i have learned in the past 15 years it's the importance of gatekeeping.

I have enough room in my heart to hate both

It's so fascinating watching somebody have ALL OF THE PIECES laid out right in front of them but just refuse to put them all together.

"LOL PIGS DO NOT EXIST, STALKER."

Well....he just plum admitted to conning a battered women's shelter to get a restraining order on a guy calling him bitchtits.

This guy almost seems like he's been created in a lab to be repulsive to every human ever born.

Being an alcoholic is actually really validating and euphoric, please do that every day until you die of kidney failure like a real man.

Now you can give me money for booze, because it is not really my job to educate you about the alcoholic community in the midst of the healthiarchy .

Goddamn it, why does this fat fuck pretend to be an expert on everything?

"Body Dystopia" might be the perfect description of his atrophied corpulence

We all miss not knowing what evil lurks in the heart of men.

So it turns out, "competitive gooning" is now a thing. On Discord.

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

Red alert, shields up, feminine dicks out.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I hope that when he dies and stands with God in the throne room he tries to sputter out his homo explanation for why fucking men in the ass isn't gay if they're sufficiently "feminized" and God just smites him right there.

 

[WelperHelper99]

I got my balls fondled a couple years back over literal pocket lint in my jeans.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

i think i'm an interesting person, you know those people that were raised by wolves, i was raised by complete isolated autism

 

[Dr. Butt]

We all miss not knowing what evil lurks in the heart of men.

 

[Crex Crex]

holy shit anus woke the sleeping goyant on this one

Shit You'll Never Watch: Volume 93463 Nigger Faggot Returns

 

[Dr. Butt]

2. is applying medical leeches an option?

 

[Jhonson the Two]

Imagine that in a skirt, goddamn.

Dude’s just a disingenuous fuck who thought he could Reddit-lawyer everyone IRL.