random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[NyQuilninja]

"I'm a white woman from Tennessee, my family is mostly uneducated white trash."

Wow, not a hint of reservation or hesitation. If I were her dad I would've disowned her for that.

>video is called 'mask off'
>her face is absolutely caked with make-up

Sounds about right.

Lindsay: Cancel culture can be traced back to before Twitter when I cancelled my baby.

wait, her dad passed away a few years back and she dedicated her Guardians of the Galaxy review to him because the movie gave her "the feels".

Guess she'd throw literally anyone into the dumpster...

I feel the same amount of sympathy for her as she does for the women sexually harassed/assaulted by troons in women’s bathrooms and women’s rape shelters.

Just put a sign out front "We identify as Roof Koreans."

Can you imagine if this insanity continued into an afterlife? People wearing muzzles, "social distancing", and living under lockdown for all eternity?

Sounds like hell to me.

California, much like AIDS which you can transmit there freely with no legal repercussion, is a gift that keeps on giving

I wish the Dork would stop saying, "What she is saying is sometimes reasonable". No it isn't.

Cali is retarded and their kike bugman senator should be put up against a wall in Minecraft, but rawdogging a tranny and giving them HIV without telling them is still a misdemeanor, so there are still some repercussions.

>30 Pages since Thursday
>Everyone please kill yourselves

 

[shitfart]

Do not encourage shitfart

shitfart has been encouraged

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

She looks so proud of herself, but this is just the saddest attempt at pornography I can ever remember seeing.

The entirety of the farms could just be replaced with that depressing video smashing into a human face forever. Did...did she win?

 

[LurkTrawl]

The first australian with any balls since Adolf Hitler

Uncle Kage is an oldschool popufur and community organizer, kind of like Al Sharpton only for dogfuckers.

We're assuming the numbers they're giving are accurate. I wouldn't trust these one of these men to count his dick without making a mistake.

 

[Cryonic Haunted Bullets]

If people will only tolerate you when and if they're rubbing their genitals on yours, it might just be that you're not very nice to talk to.

 

[Meat Target]

Autistic people don’t screech

Autistic screeching is the name of the meme but, when truly talking about the behavior described above, a better and more appropriate way to describe it could be vocal stimming.

Oh. So it's autistic screeching about autistic screeching.

 

[Anne Hyroe]

this is surely a positive message for the trans rights movement. A flag in a pasty buttcrack. Awkwardly waggled in bad lighting with tense silence.

 

[Meat Target]

As the embodiment of autistic screeching (despite not being autistic stop rating me autistic guys I am not autistic)

If it finally kills off Bronies, it's fine.

 

[NyQuilninja]

Oh for fucks sake.
Why can’t we have just one fucking funny sped guy who doesn’t turn out to be pedo in 2021.
Is that just too much to ask?

If he walks could we see the fabled category 5 chimpout as fortold in the legends?

Nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger also sneed

Sneedposters should have their fingers smashed with hammers, lest they post again.

Minneapolis is a shit hole. I hope you mean "Rest In Piss."

That wasn't a CPR machine - they were tenderizing him before feeding him to the homesless.

"Has anyone seen what this sneed stuff is? I really don't understand it, the rednecks from the simpsons crushing floyd between their asscheeks, who makes this stuff?"

No we're too busy baking cookies with aliens.

"Your honor, I browse Kiwifarms"

"A what? You work on a farm?"

"No it's a wesbite where we mock retards and fat people, you see, let me show you this guy named Chris..."

or you can stroll in and loudly state “nigger”

"Judge, I can't be on this jury. I legit thought the new Ghost Busters movie was really good. I am not mentally capable."

getting a criminal record is a lot harder than just being racist at the jury audition
"mister judge i really hate them niggers, can't wait to send this one to the chair!"
that'll get you kicked out of jury duty at the speed of light

Telling the defense that you spend your free time mocking retards actually is a really good way to get out if Jury duty.

Don't tell the prosecution that though

I've reset the poll for the last mile. Place your bets ladies and gunts.

They're gonna put in a Subway at Fenty Floyd Square that only serves banana mayo samiches and syrup samiches

"THE POWER OF JESSSSUS COMPELS YOU TO STOP BREATHING"

The next jury should be Kiwi Farms.

You'll be sorry when REEEEEE! ends up being the correct answer.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

@NyQuilninja You may wish to edit out my Edit out of that last quote.

Unless..you want the OHAI NULL in there.

 

[NyQuilninja]

@NyQuilninja You may wish to edit out my Edit out of that last quote.

Unless..you want the OHAI NULL in there.

Fixed

 

[Meat Target]

"Pope Biden the First Declares Jihad against Chauvin, all Goodboys shall Earn their tendies by destroying him."

 

[NyQuilninja]

I'm not really sure why it'd be strange to find out that people who want to fuck animals, want to fuck animals.

Can you not post these? Singing Youtubers don't deserve attention. People that sing opinions and current events are worse than the Holocaust.

Ok but she is a Biden bitch do there is that

Is the walrus a trannie too?

Who the fuck eats an entire pizza in one day?

But bro! If I don't vote for a democrat then my wife's boyfriend will take away my funko pops!

Transformers, feminine penis in disguise.

Things women can't do:
1. Be funny.
2. Be on a jury and be fair.
3. Accept people can advise, scold or teach them anything.
4. Push-ups.
5. Sneed.

He's killing Dr. Potatonigger's cherrypicked screenshots.

Death by banana.

Literally the most racist death.

 

[Revo]

As someone on the Spectrum: it's because those of us who are higher-functioning aren't allowed to throw things at people.

 

[LurkTrawl]

Fucking hell what the fuck is this nigger doing I swear to god I can feel my brain turning black just listening to him.

 

[Puff]

George Floyd didn't die because his heart was too big, he died because Derek Chauvin's heart was too small

 

[Meat Target]

Is there a law that ASL translators are forbidden from looking like normal human beings or something?

 

[Dick Justice]

• The Disney "brand" provides a cradle-to-grave customer experience

I wish I were Japanese

 

[AnOminous]

REEEEEE at that quote. What I really said was. . .

I wish I were Japanese, just so I could write an anime and tease gay ships through all of it, and then in the final episode marry off all the most popular ships to members of the opposite sex and watch the shrieking meltdowns laughing in Japanese.

 

[Meat Target]

I'm just here to watch everyone die.