random_text.txt

[Magicat]

Patrick Sean Tomlinson said:

Rent free, child.

 

[GunCar Gary]

REEEEE!! MEN PUT SCORPIONS IN MY VAGINA!!!!!

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

You know if you can't attain your goals, you can always lower the bar so that you've already attained them.

 

[RACISM]

When KF goes down, I am going to become a huge lolcow and no one will be able to stop me, because KF will finally be gone. I am going to get so fucking fat and retarded and obnoxious.

 

[Asian tech support]

"The rape slider was a lot of work, for little reward. Since our metrics found that everyone who downloads a werewolf rape mod sets the slider to Ultra-Rape as soon as the game boots".

 

[Gentlebastard]

he sabotages himself yet again with eating whole chickens in one sitting

Either one day he's gonna "child" the wrong nigga or his liver will succumb to the alcohol.

This is obscene. I've seen porn that didn't make me as uncomfortable as this does.

Two beeps means MOAR, one beep means GUD.

I do not want to know how you have acquired such intimate knowledge of negroid mouth flavors.

He is white, lives in the ghetto, and still manages to bring down property values.

too dumb to even be a proper sportsball fan

I was hoping this one had died of sepsis.

Basically, this dude finally realized there's more to sexual pleasure than just destroying their dick and balls but thinks it's a female thing instead of a human thing.

>only you know what's best for you

Ah yes, the heroin addict's charter.

I don't know what sapphic means, but if it's a synonym for closeted bricklayer then yeah he's nailing it.

"Your browser is not able to display this video."

The best thing I've seen come out of tim pool's shows in the past few years.

"Go to hell you stubborn fuck" is a stronger message than "God helps those that help themselves."

I’m glad I’m not the only one who immediately read “Skyrim bestiality rape mod” and thought “troon.”

Please rate me autistic for my awful sense of humor.

 

[POWER IN MISERY]

The mod has a rape slider. The dev was quoted as saying "The rape slider was a lot of work, for little reward. Since our metrics found that everyone who downloads a werewolf rape mod sets the slider to Ultra-Rape as soon as the game boots".

 

[Seafarer]

However, she's still rather fat. She should get cancelled for that instead.

 

[Rotollo 2]

That guy you thought was nice but a little bit awkward? In reality, he just cant stop thinking about huffing your Pokemon Converse.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

I wonder how long its been since Patrick posted a Enjoy prison.. i thought to myself, check twitter, 3 times in the last 60 sek..

@SandyHooker
Yeah but Im not in the mood for girl cock tonight
I want a hairy moist stanky cunt
If I saw a wet pussy right now I'd run my fingers up her slit and wipe it on my upper lip like a pussy juice milk mustache.

 

[Seafarer]

He coins the term "shit-lubed thrusting" and the more I read this depraved rambling I just want to drink myself into a coma.

 

[MrJokerRager]

What do you expect from a guy who literally uploaded a video to YouTube entitled Why I'm Fat?

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

"thank you again keffals for taking down the kiwifarms"

if this hasn't been posted already, it's one i like to go back to sometimes

 

[Meat Target]

Knock knock: Who's there?
Kermit!
Kermit who?
KERMIT SEWER SIDE YOU CHINGY CHONGY BLICK FACE BLOKEN BLANCH!

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Maybe you should have a lager and relax.

 

[Pissmaster]

There's less purpose to video games compared to kidnapping someone, raping them and then eating them but most people do the former instead of the latter.

 

[Overly Serious]

I am going to get around to watching the series at some point but given it's about reality I have a feeling it might be very depressing.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Lmao get fucked pooner, we don't want more seahorse dads here

 

[frozen_runner]

Jokes on YOU!

There are no trains in prison! *looks around nervously*

I tell you what I'm never throwing it away I'm just putting it in the box with the crack pipe to be found in the closet by a snoopy girlfriend or maybe my future kids one day who will ask me why I have a dope pipe and a t shirt with an ate up nigger on it and ill sit them down and force them to listen to all 1800 viper albums and end it with an explanation he was a rapist, but a funny one. and then we'll cook crack together as a family and hit the rock off the pipe.

While Zoomers get scared at the shitty "backrooms", we laugh at the "jewrooms"

You know what Harry Potter had? A magical border wall that kept the muggles out. You know what else they had? A bank run by hooked nosed goblins. And you know what else? House elves.

Massah gives Dobby a sock? Dobby's be free!

 

[General Emílio Médici]

"The rape slider was a lot of work, for little reward. Since our metrics found that everyone who downloads a werewolf rape mod sets the slider to Ultra-Rape as soon as the game boots".