random_text.txt

[Ise]

"In response to a direct message seeking comment, ValidLs wrote, “Daily dot” followed by three laughing emojis and a poop emoji." (source)

 

[Tablet County]

The sun coming out is breaking news in this world, people are dying of super gonorrhea, and genetic deformities are now so commonplace hardly anyone bats an eye anymore, and yet all this guy can think about is how well he fucked this one chick while in Vegas.

("happiness" here being "good yaoi sex")

 

[skunt]

View attachment 5962227

all other twitter posts are some furfag saying "Zoos are bad" but then they shit on a plate, disgusting.

(but tbh, the image probably works better, if it can fit)

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

I hope this isn’t against the rules but Caden’s bond sheet contains his Super Special Number.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

I've nothing clever to say, yet feel like screaming.

Most continental philosophy consisted of profoundly autistic and/or schizo men inventing words to describe mundane concepts that even stupid people already had a perfectly functional intuitive understanding of.

The writers they select are fluent in English but unmistakably alien in expression.

 

[Sheogorath]

Copious amount of gay furry porn, including cub porn and zoophilia, and obligatory anti-Ruben post

 

[seri0us]

What was the conclusion with the child porn? Did they not charge him?

 

[MetokurGroomedMe]

He wasn’t randomly given an MRI that found an abnormally large paedo-lobe in his brain or something.

 

[Roxanne Wolf]

View attachment 5962227

 

[frozen_runner]

Gentlemen, I regret to inform you that women are at it again.

Shotacon ruined a whole generation of female teachers.

Good lord it looks like if Lori Beth Denberg ate Wendy the Snapple Lady

The graves of dead troons should be used to grow food for aryans to eat.

Ugh. These men. They just want to rape me. Rape me with their eyes and their penises. Their lustful, hungry eyes, and their huge hard cocks. Multiple men, all raping me, one after the other; taking turns to rape my hot wet pussy and my glistening mouth. And my tightly stretched asshole. Pumping hot load after hot load into my fertile, quivering body. Making me swallow their cum. Calling me slut, and worthless whore, and all kinds of vile, degrading names. Over, and over again, they force themselves upon me - into me - my resistance futile. Driven wild with desire for me, their forbidden urges insatiable, their criminal lust unquenchable. The bastards.

Trigger Warning: her cousin is armed with a ukulele.

 

[Gentlebastard]

"Jokes on you Kiwifarmers, I was only pretending to be a degenerate fucked up weirdo that wants someone to fuck my missus"

When the output of a round of Cards Against Humanity begins to resemble actual news headlines? It's time to get outta Dodge.

Probably too big, but:

Tinfoil theory but hear me out.

Cyclists are cosplaying as Mongolian hordes. Every time they get on their bike, they think they're the nomadic raider, Urbanist Khan, strapping water canteen and backpack to themselves like the warriors of old, using cargo bikes or bike baskets like they would once use saddlebags. Roaming the streets of your local area, they zip along in their designated lanes, going to work and going to third places like a roving horde, despoiling their stock with large purchases.

Motorcyclists in Asian countries experience the greatest joy of this transportation delusion by lane-splitting. Weaving between gridlocked cars, they laugh within their helmets as they speed past cars in gridlock.

By contrast, the cyclist in the West suffers. Confined to bike lanes and banned from lane-splitting (mostly because traffic doesn't gridlock as much or for as long), they cannot simply disregard the laws of the land and advance along the roads that are their birthright. Cars - those monstrous metal boxes that rule the road with their high speed and comfortable interiors - shatter this illusion, both by their prevalence and their ability to force the cyclist to move.

Pretty sure they're shitposting. Everyone already knows that Adolf Hitler was a black man.

You ready for AI-powered academic dishonesty?

This is the most "do Americans really?" thing that I've seen in quite a while, and I don't know if it's because of the product itself or that you can buy 12% alcopops in a fucking juice carton.

Let's play spot the tranny.

If you guessed the guy who won you are correct.

troons and their enablers have created a scenario where woman can walk in and find a 6ft5 ogre in a dress with a raging hardon fishing for tapons in the trash, and be told that they are in the wrong for being uncomfortable

man, no one hates women like troons.

Gotta give em credit for that one, they've raised the bar so high for western misogynists, it's hard to keep up at times.

My son is due in 3 months and I’m already excited at the idea of childing him and putting him into cot prison where he will proceed to enjoy it.

"Here comes the airplane, stalker child. Enjoy the applesauce."

Have you threatened to kill the mother and child yet in a deranged and furious lisping rant? I hear all the best fathers do that.

 

[Super Dilator Duel 3D]

whatever faggots i know who stepped over the line you can not fool me
because the good lord is with me and i am not blind to stupid nigger deceptions

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Spoiler: sperging over sonichu and assigned male because I fucking love wasting my life and procastinating

Gentlemen, I regret to inform you that women are at it again.

How would exposure to porn cause this? Any porn that even remotely resembles this scenario would be incredibly illegal, even in Serbia.

I’m sorry dude but that isn’t normal. Either you’re misremembering or your penis is weird.

I didn't have "trump supporter diaperfag" on my apocalypse bingo.

Natural selection?

Requires a higher level of giving a shit.

Becoming a Diaper fag and shit depends to own the libs.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

I imagine it would be embarrassing if you went in as a nearly seven foot tall ogre with three days of beard growth with stink lines coming off you in a dollar store dress with your balls dangling out and clown makeup on your face, because they'd know you were just ramming them up your ass anyway.

 

[Tablet County]

when I was 9 I made a drawing of Aqua teen hunger force and the teacher put it up on the wall because she didn't know what it was
I wonder what people thought when they saw it

How does an alleged male look this FTM?

 

[vomitusdeux]

Last night I saw a pooner with her roid clit & pussy open as the PFP. I won't post it.

salem is fat and i would not have sex with her

I can't believe this fursona has the most feminine appearance + plus boobs and still wants me to address her as a boy

this kid looks like a little old moldy fruit

well, the jail he is at won't have to waste money on tooth care on the 1¾ teeth he still has.

As hilarious as it would be if they did his funeral with a beatific smile photoshopped onto his day-old, bug-eyed, asphyxiated corpse

As much as I would love to butt-fuck a bear into submission it'll never pass on the chance to hang out with a bpd autist

This is why you don't take people with names like "pee-than" seriously.

They all have the facial expression that looks like they are saying, "You been smokin' rocks?!? You got kids, Darryl...you gon' fuck they life up over a couple bitch ass nugs?"

pokemon are friends not for sexing

I can't believe Joshua Connor Moon changed his name to "Nonparneoplastic Limbic Autoimmune Encephalitis"

how fucking retarded do you have to be to inject horse piss with a malfunctioning immune system?

Is it normal for pooners to fetishize boobs on trans men? I knew they fetishized top surgery scars but this is just fucking absurd.

I can't believe that Yeshua Conner the Coon personally pozzed that troon.

Toss me a beer and some guac, beaners; a tranny is dead!

"So obsessed with sex she's telling her entire sexual history to the newspaper, but doesn't know how to have it" is peak queer identity.

"There is also the fact that my relationship history has been littered with men who have kept me a secret because I am fat, or because they had wives or girlfriends. Their girlfriends were always thin. I was once waiting at a bus stop late at night and a guy stopped his bicycle to talk to me. He looked excited to see me, like a little boy at the zoo seeing a giraffe for the first time. He asked for my number so enthusiastically that I gave it to him. As he called the number to check I had given him the correct one, he said, “This is great. I just got engaged, but I’ve never tried sleeping with one of your kind before, so I want to try that before I get married.”

I stumbled into the bathroom, where I tried to wash my vagina over the sink as well as I could. I walked back into his room and laid down on the bed. He placed himself between my legs and began doing what I had specifically asked him not to do only a few minutes earlier. Then, he quickly stopped and pulled away.
“Ew, that tastes disgusting. Oh god,” he said and lay down next to me. My entire body recoiled in shame. The room that had been spinning around me came to a sobering halt. I wanted to leave my body, float out of the room and never return.

Nonbinary Danish.
Some days she's cheese, other days she's strawberry.
Only thing for certain is that she's never glazed.

The graves of dead troons should be used to grow food for aryans to eat.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Oh my GOD it's the xenogender flag and yes it IS upside down.

 

[Spud]

had touch-the-girl gameplay included

 

[Meat Target]

It so....assburger. He just cannot do it, he has to be an asshole 100% of the time. If you held a gun to his head threaten to shoot him in the face he would still threaten you with a lawsuit in the smug wanna super-villain way of his.

Russian authors were better philosophers and the French mostly just wanted justification to diddle kids.

And also I found out he was a pedophile so I got drunk and I lit the book on fire.

 

[Oliver Onions]

the pedophile who bragged about pinkpilling young boys and is currently in jail for bank robbery