random_text.txt

[Blackhole]

What the fuck. They like evolved this fish into a proto Tiktaalik. This MF is going to start a new branch of land life

 

[SevenEightNine]

@HarblMcDavid in chat:

the world ends because they tried to engineer neovag viscera and it became sentient

 

[ThisIsntNotMetal]

"GET EVERYTHING ABOUT MY HOUSE OFF THE INTERNET. NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!!!" - CWC

 

[TheBigTakeover]

Being a catboy twink is more dignified than a terminally online boomer

 

[BlueSpark]

they're like a wife I love to come home to and beat

 

[Haffhart]

It was a particularly not-self-killy time in Japan!

I had one of my friends try to kinkshame me about being on the Farms when he ran across the USA Today story.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Why yes, I literally have to translate from English to Retard when I'm speaking to most women.

 

[Meat Target]

Maybe he should try seeing a shrink instead of engaging in schizophrenic duels with alter egos like his head is the fucking Water Temple or some shit.

 

[Law]

I can't imagine the kind of homosexual desperation going on in a town like Casper.

 

[REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!]

BYUU LIED, NOBODY DIED

 

[Autistic Joe]

A russian nesting doll full of autism

I'm literally an autistic dog barking through a fence right now

 

[Aunt Carol]

Nigger I got four cats, oldman, fatman, loudman, and salami Jr. Do you want to know what my cats have that his cats definitely don't have? God damn motherfucking jobs. I don't just let them lounge about all day like little tumors, I make them go outside or in the basement to kill birds and rats and shit. Makes them strong. I bet his cats don't bury their poop in the litter box because they know he's the bottom of the totem pole and they want him to know too.
Fucking liberals cannot even own cats correctly.

 

[Table Country]

You'd have to at least pretend to have a gun on you before I'd consider sucking your dick. And then it turns out that thing in your pocket wasn't a gun at all - it's a dick and I'm all "well, this is embarrassing but I guess we've come this far so.."

 

[Open Window Maniac]

I only jerk off to gay porn and I am not gay. Here is why: When you masturbate to porn, you get desensitized in the long run. That means if you jerk off to pawgs, milfs, teens, etc... in the long run you cock will no longer get erect when you see hot women. So even if you have a pawg sitting on your cock it will be flacid and you will feel no attraction whatsoever.
BUT if you masturbate to gay porn only (such as twinks, breeding, sissy, traps...) you will become desensitized to men and will NOT feel attracted to them, while remaining attracted to hot women.
Sometimes my intellect surprises me.

 

[Stabmaster Arson]

Courtesy of sneedchat

 

[SCSI]

Squares are area, cubes are volumes, quads are whales.

I would fight Andre the Giant on a plane because I would be the only human to do so and I can’t think of a more honorable or exciting death.

Is that lesbian-mobile pulling a BBQ?

If there's one thing that reading the farms has taught me, it's that not being a creepy weirdo gives you a massive headstart in the dating game. What I used to think of as my natural charm, I see now merely boils down to not giving off heavy serial killer vibes.

Courtesy of @Osmosis Jones in chat:

We wuz computers n sheit

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Women are poopy heads.

 

[NoReturn]

god gave us cows and you retards are milking almonds

 

[JustSomeDong]

The nips are a nation of paedos and war criminals (and I say this as a Brit so I know what I'm talking about)

 

[Pissmaster]

LOOK AT THE MAN'S FACE AND MAKE THE SAME FAAACCCEEE