random_text.txt

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.

 

[eatler]

You're a pussy. Earl deserves to have bricks, rocks, axes, torches, bats, baseballs, softballs, dodgeballs, lead balls, bottles, knives, microwaves, chairs, dryers, and kitchen sinks thrown at him.

Anyone who isn't filled with a cavemanish anger at this little pedophile worm is a coward.

 

[Tablet County]

You know what was really missing from my life is getting AWP'd by some russian speaking kid playing as a wolf.

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

Every pearl of joy that this man creates for himself is made at the expense of someone else. He will be a creepy, possessive freak until the day God decides to rid this planet from him. And he doesn't handle being told "no" well.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Hypothesis: Kiwi Farms is a harassment website
Evidence: There is no direct link to real life harassment originating from the Kiwi Farms. Further users attempting to harass individuals in real life are routinely banned.
Conclusion: Kiwi Farms is the worst harassment site to ever exist.

Great stuff. Very science. Much critical thinking.

 

[._.]

quote:
43F here. My 16 year old daughter had some friends over in our back yard for a get together yesterday. I asked them if they wanted food and they said sure but honestly didn’t seem like they were even having fun. I pride myself in being a fun mom. Maybe not a cool mom but fun!! So I ordered pizza for them. To make them laugh, I played that song “wet ass pussy” from my phone and I sang along to it holding the pizza singing “wet ass pizza.” Honestly I thought it was hilarious! Then I put the pizza down and began “booty shaking” a little. No boys were there! Just 3 girls. My daughter shrieked as if she’d been stabbed and said this was humiliating and I said “sounds like dry pizza energy” (AS A JOKE) and her friends snickered a bit so I know the joke landed....well it’s been a day and she won’t leave her room or speak to me. Am I really in the wrong?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i8imaq/aita_for_serving_my_daughter_wet_ass_pizza/

 

[Mister Baranavichy]

It's not even an exceptional reason, this is just how Hasbro historically is; an outsider fixes their fuck ups for them, the boardroom that is perpetually eight years behind goes "i hungy" and slaughters the golden goose, everything goes to shit, they fall back to what they thought worked last time (even though 110% of the time said fallback was also wildly shit), repeat.

 

[The Taco Santo!]

Retarded Anal Rapist would be a pretty good band name.

If I ever start a pornogrind band, I'm calling it Retarded Anal Rapist.

 

[frozen_runner]

Quality Quotes: Hotdog Edition

One of the gravest mistakes a person can make is overthinking a hot dog.

Why does seeing that hot dog make me want to oppress minorities?

If hot dogs were shaped like vaginas they'd be considered brave feminist icons

pay homeless people five dollars to throw shit on the hotdog

Everything started going to hell when they started allowing women to eat hotdogs.

I wonder how they look at corndogs. Do they think it's a stand-in for sounding?

Jews. I guarantee it.

Don't eat factory-farmed humans, guys, always try getting an organic one.

What even is the point of modern consoles outside of replacing a ghetto kid's dad?

>I wake up
>there is anarchotyranny
>I go back to bed

does the CIA just have a tranny gun that they fire at these people?

Is there not already a thread about this? Very disappointing, Kiwifarms should be on top of these matters. I shouldn't have to hear about it from the fucking Guardian.

Is there anything more equitable than the entire human race becoming radioactive dust?

Restricting gas would be racist against the abos because huffing it is an integral part of their cultural identity

 

[Drip Torch]

"Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, archive it."

 

[BirdUp]

I don't know what Jared did to make everybody hate him but it couldn't be worse then subway discontinuing the pastrami sandwich. It was a bit pricey but it was objectively the best fucking sandwich they had and getting rid of it is the biggest stain on subways fine image.

 

[gorgoroth7134]

"Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, archive it."

 

[BirdUp]

Why do us men get called creepy when we want our sex toys to actually resemble women that we can talk to and cuddle with?

 

[Cyclonus]

Should have gone with the full thing, also including women's sex toys just being severed penises. I'll happily be quoted on that.

 

[Tablet County]

Should have gone with the full thing, also including women's sex toys just being severed penises. I'll happily be quoted on that.

I mean it all sounds slightly unhinged and is generally funny so yes I agree.

Why aren't women creepy for being satisfied with sex toys that are basically just severed penises? That's all we are to you isn't it, just a life support system for a cock.

 

[frozen_runner]

Being a sperg isn't a disability there buddy.

When Gollum was being tortured at Barad-dur, did the orcs do things to him... sexually?

 

[Tablet County]

The message of Get Out, which I completely agree with, is that affluent white liberals are body stealing demons and you must kill the evil with fire.

I appreciate how many people thirdies can fit on a single moped

Total safe edgy death

Billions must say nigger

 

[Gentlebastard]

I'm just laughing that these losers think a woman lying about her age is JOOISH TRICKERY.

Reader's note: this polytard is beyond long-winded. If you don't want to read the entire text of his posts, just pick out a few sentences at random. Every single word is insane.

So sad. Just five months ago he was smearing LSD on her pussy and she was fingering his asshole!

This bro needs to give up the polyamory and just become a cult leader, this would allow him to build an even larger harem of women without having to pretend that he's OK with sharing them.

That's not how you do magic, that's how you get bird aids.

 

[BirdUp]

Actually most black people I’ve met smell just as good if not better than white people, and it isn’t black peoples fault that the air is going away, it’s because of the rich privileged white people burning fossil fuels and cutting down trees. Also please don’t say the n word.

This forum was a bad idea

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

Not that I'm an expert on women (as if any man can really be that), merely that I am a non-hallucinator.

gnomesayan