random_text.txt

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

All he wanted to do was simply vore his friends, digest them, and turn them into poopoo.

 

[Aunt Carol]

It’s really hard to fake your own death because it means you have to stop posting online.

 

[CallmeCicada]

I bet there's some cnc software that I could stick my ai blackface mpreg femboy asuka images into and get the machine to carve it into some metal slab that'll outlast them all

 

[Aunt Carol]

The Eagle does not announce when it will strike the snake
The Eagles hides behind a dumpster at the 7/11
and waits until the snake finishes off at least two tall boys
then the Eagle asks the snake what time it is
and steals the snake's watch,
....for the snake has no wrists

"Hey doods, we are all four foot tall and weirdly hairy and no one takes us seriously, which Tolkienesque creature do you think we resemble?" "Oh, DEFINITELY the elves."

 

[JustSomeDong]

To be fair, if those old guys who can find the motivation to blast their nutsack to every single dude at the public gym, doomers should be able to find the motivation to live.

 

[Ninon42]

Since it's Nebula-tankie nonsense, I'm just gonna assume the "Genocidal Coconuts" are supposed to be Jews.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

My brain goes crazy at minor deviations in symmetry - I notice if a window frame isn't perfect, or a television is a degree off angle on the wall, and it drives me crazy. That's my mental issue. Some people want to cut their dicks off. That's their mental issue. We both deal with it as best we can. We're practically the same thing!

 

[Meiwaku]

As you could probably guess, 95% of our clients were black. But you could tell the niggers from the nig-greats.

I prefer the cumtown explanation.

 

[Cun75p4rkl35]

If you get raped in Europe, at least you're gonna have variety.

 

[Hamstirer]

Do it, you candy-ass maplenigger, I double dog dare you.

 

[The Spoils of War]

It's put me off Dick somewhat.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

Why so many youtube chefs are gay may be due to gay people mostly having a life mission to subvert society, and the first step to subverting a group is often through food. I can provide a lot of autistic examples of this but I don't want to come off as completely insane.

 

[Gravemind]

Do you think there exists - somewhere in the world - a gnome that is shaped more like a dog penis?

Courtesy of:

I nominate for random.txt: "Do you think there exists - somewhere in the world - a gnome that is shaped more like a dog penis?"

 

[Dr. Butt]

(Bulls are obvious to most but get an angry cow or horse and nobody will really notice until too late.)

 

[The Stranger]

I think the gnome is probably like a poop knife sort of thing. But this guy was probably using the gnome poop knife to bust the shit up in his butt instead of the poop knife for busting it up in the toilet.

 

[Law]

Elon knows absolutely nothing about Diablo back when I still used to play Diablo 2 before they had the HD re release I had absolutely every single top piece of druid gear.

 

[Autistic Gunspergings]

You need to prove your dick is huge.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Oh, a guy can't have a completely brown 12-inch decorative rubber gnome in his bathroom anymore?

Is that a fucking bathroom gnome!?

What you don't have a bathroom gnome?
Y'all are a bunch of fucking weirdos.

>mom found the vintage terracotta bathroom gnome

When you’re so gay people assume you shove an IKEA gnome up your ass.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

this is reddit for chuds

 

[Oliver Onions]

Be warned for there's a photo showing an inconspicuous gnome in his bathroom.