random_text.txt

[Crex Crex]

Crack stocks at an all time high, we fucking did it crackbros.

 

[Male Feminist]

Bryan claims that one of the best biomarkers for a person's health generally is how much of their sleep they spend erect

 

[Nancy]

WTF qualifies this nigga to run a symphony orchestra?

 

[Gentlebastard]

Its called cursive you, you... doublenigger

I don't think there's a gayer way to eat sausage unless he was cupping small potatoes like they were balls at the same time

God used to be angry, then had Jesus, and became less angry.

it's an interesting implication God mellowed out after getting his dick wet (spiritually).

If you haven't been consistent in your statements, time for the burger suit.

it's a simple dish like your mom used to make for you before you left to live alone as a corporate slave in a soulless efficiency apartment

I cannot think of a single excuse that doesn't sound akin to an obese fuck saying "I DON'T WANT TO GO ON A DIET, I WANT MY OZEMPIC".

I’m so broken and destroyed by this website that I dare not even guess that this is satire.

he ordered eggs benedict with the egg scrambled because he doesn't like runny yolk

He needs to be killed for that alone.

Having been a cashier before working retail, you really learn to hate the vast majority of humanity.

Posting here after getting banned from Reddit is basically a right of passage. Some of us have been banned hundreds, if not thousands of times per year. I'm singlehandedly making mods earn their paycheck.

My random.txt for this page is "I curse you all in the name of YHWH" and I don't think we're ever getting a better conflux of events here.

Truly, God has abandoned us.

On one hand I'm horrified, but on another hand I eagerly await the first-ever third generation Lolcow.

random.txt is the true oracle of all knowledge.

The average euro thinks there should be a limit on what you can say. the limit varies, the reason for it varies, but you cucks firmly believe that american styled free expression is harmful, especially if its something innocent and fun like sieg heiling and denying the holocaust.

 

[Crex Crex]

I've just read this entire thread. Jfc. Humanity was a terrible mistake

Saint Floyd was hiding the drugs up his ass, aka hooping. Taking drugs rectally is "boofing".

I fucking love this site sometimes. Only place I can simultaneously laugh at meticulously documented retards, say nigger without getting banned and also get informative lectures on how crack works.

Seriously the Bossmanjack thread is a goldmine

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Mercer, 57, had worked at the mill on and off for years. Folks called him Muffie Dog. He walked over to sit on a plastic bucket as blood poured from his mouth and nose — his left eye shut, his cheek with a “pressed-down indentation,” according to Broadwater. Co-workers called for an ambulance.

A medical examiner’s report detailed how just 23 pounds of one employee was recovered after he was caught in a machine.

 

[CaddestSlown]

you cucks firmly believe that american styled free expression is harmful, especially if its something innocent and fun like sieg heiling and denying the holocaust

 

[Dr. Butt]

Please let this be real

 

[Fathomless Eminence]

Are you a nigger worshiper, are you pro niggers in anime?

 

[Dr. Butt]

Did you know cars run on gasoline and not driver's licenses?

I hearted but are you gay?

 

[Schizoid Wife]

"SOMEBODY FUCK MY DEAD BODY BECAUSE IM GONNA FUCKING KILL MYSELF"

 

[RomanianSchizo]

FUCKING HELP ME MY BALLS ARE CAUGHT IN THE DOOR FUCKING HELP IT HURTS FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

动态网自由门 LOOK AT THE PICTURE. SEE THE SKULL 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 六四天安門事件 the part of bone removed 天安門大屠殺 deadly gangster Frankenstein controls 反右派鬥爭 earphone radio 大躍進政策 synthetic nerve-radio directional antennae loop 文化大革命 Threshold Brainwash Radio 人權 ONE WORLD COMMUNISM 民運 Frankenstein radio controls 自由 MAN MADE INSIDE-OUT PLANETS 獨立 YOUR ONLY HOPE FOR A FUTURE 多黨制 NIGERS INTERBREEDABLE WITH APES 台灣 臺灣 CLOSED SOCIETY 中華民國 POISON NERVE GAS 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 BRICKS and STONES 達賴喇嘛 ELECTRIC SHOCK “FLASH LITE” 法輪功 UNFORGIVABLE, TRUTH 新疆維吾爾自治區 Computer God Instant Plastic Surgery Secrets 諾貝爾和平獎 WHITE PEDIGREE MALES 劉暁波 Eyesight Television 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 REMOTE ELECTRONICALLY CONTROLLED AROUND CORNERS TRAJECTION of DEADLY TOUCH TARANTULA SPIDERS 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 intermarry with niggers 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Communist Gangster Computer God 劉曉波动态网自由门

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

I'm pretty sure I was watching some video about slime molds solving mazes and this is where it gets fuzzy but I make the connection between slime molds and people who make roblox porn somehow and voila.

Here's some inane stuff that entertained me.

Sure thing, did you screenshot my rants today? they were pretty good.

I really do fucking hate you homos.

This is 2025, I want my information now. I want videos of it happening on watchpeopledie, I want to see autopsy photos because I sure as hell am not going to care about this in March.

Has it ever occurred to these people that they're actually really fucking stupid?

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

All the alien ladies would tell him how masculine, intelligent, and fit he is as he sweats, clearly thinking lustful thoughts about all the hot dogs sitting uneaten at the craft services table.

 

[Cnidarian]

Yeah, I also hate it when people say "my wife" like do you even legally own your wife, my man? Did you even purchase her from a Khanate merchant after he abducted her from across the Black Sea? Are you legally allowed to beat her to death for disobedience? Just say "the wife who I live in the same house with," smh

 

[Dr. Butt]

(and others too, but this is a discussion about Creepy Bird Dick)

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole 2]

I really liked this post.

My school tried that but they couldn't get prisoners so they just had underground wrestlers come in and tell us about the dangers of cage wrestling and taking chairs to the back of the head.

 

[306h4Ge5eJUJ]

obviously this tragic air disaster was a result of the pilot having insufficient amounts of anal sex

 

[Aunt Carol]

Kpop guys got hella bitches and they look gay as fuck